Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Joe The Cartoonist Reports From The Minnesota Caucus

Our cartoonist performed his civic duty tonight, attending his local Republican caucus. Here is his report:

I saw evil, demonic, eyes, and knew that I was at the right place.

I said the secret password. Our fearless leader, Minnesota Majority's Dan McGrath let me into the room. The other GOP operatives growled and gnashed their huge fangs as they welcomed me into the realm of darkness.

We began the proceedings with our secret oath....

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic, for which it stands, one nation, under God (I know that three-letter word makes some people recoil in horror), indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

Then, we drank blood out of human skulls....

We elected our delegate and an alternate. Actually, fearless leader Dan McGrath won this honor by killing two challengers in a fight to the death, smashing their heads in with a mace. The two challengers were brought back to life, and will be forced to serve as alternate delegates at the next Republican Convention.

Then, we planned our take-over of America. One man (Let's call him Vulgariahh) introduced a change to the GOP state platform. We all liked the idea. It read:

"The Republican party needs to do more to take food out of the mouths of babies."

McGrath looked over this proposal, then growled, "It's not HEARTLESS enough....
We need to starve the elderly, too!"

The entire room exploded in agreement, growling and grunting.

"Anything to make Obama look bad!", a man growled. Our fearless leader grinned, and wrote it down.

Then, we held a straw poll, where we voted for our favorite Presidential candidate. I voted for former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum, because he also hated gays.

Finally, it was time to call it a night. We all spread our large red bat wings, then we  dissappeared into the night.


  1. And here I thought our caucus was unique (I'm one the folks with the bashed-in heads... alternate). LOL! (p.s. keep this up and you'll be a regular on a major tv network soon!)

  2. Sublime. And I don't hand out that word lightly. I didn't attend the caucus last night, so it's nice to be able to read about what went on. I'm passing this on to my facebook friends. Keep up the great work.

    Friendly Neighborhood Republican

  3. Thanks OtterRose and Crystal K.! I think I may need to look up 'sublime' in a dictionary....

    I wonder how many Dems actually believe this is how we Republicans conduct ourselves.

    Thanks to Dan McGrath for tweeting the post!