Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Minneapolis Mayor Betsy Hodges: My Favorite Things

On May 23, Minneapolis Mayor Betsy Hodges delivered the 2017 State Of The City Address from the Masjid an-Nur mosque.

Here is a short summary, sung by Julie Andrews:

Our city has been transformed by leftists and Somalis
Welfare for foreigners from Mexico and Mali
All of those Muslims that Lutheran Charities bring
These are a few of my favorite things

Sanctuary cities and genital mutilation
Thugs and pan-handlers at light rail stations
Liberal voters make my heart sing
These are a few of my favorite things

But we must resist Trump
He is a fascist meanie
He makes me mad
but I'm turning this city into a third world dungheep
I'll win in November, and that ain't too bad

Banning plastic bags I'm a mad hatter
Hijabs and gang signs and Black Lives That Matter
I just love the power to pull all these strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Turning our city into a Muslim ghetto
Soon our fair city will look like Soweto
Property taxes that will make your head sting
These are a few of my favorite things

But we must resist Trump
He is a meanie
He makes me mad
But all my PC voters are watching CNN
I'll crush all opposition... and I'm glad





 








This Is The Shadow Government

We celebrated on Election Night
seeing the electoral map turn red
We thought The eight-year crime spree was over
when we turned off our TV and went to bed
We were hoping the child-king would just go away
leading from behind, we were lead astray
Eight years of leftist decay
Like a Phoenix we were ready to fly

Now, it looked like the new guy would drain the swamp
and make America great again
We would be rid of that individual mandate
and pantsuit lady would be sent to the state pen

but it looks like he won't go away
ruining America he's got so many ways
when he's on the TV we take offence
Just say 'hello'
Just say 'hello' This Is the shadow government

Now we're fighting the establishment
But Soros and his thugs are threatening
Our enemies are beating free speech down
for the big-eared creep, the PETULANT child-king
Hashtag warriors often fail
with this 8-year fairy tale
Attorney General cleaning up all details
' Cause Creepy had to lie

The voters told this gang where they can go
There's a message we would like to send
We told them we've had enough of all this crap
The corruption had to end

Now we got deep-state all around
They're in every city and town
Don't defend Trump or Pence
This is the return
This is the return of the petulance




Tuesday, May 30, 2017

This Is Bullshit, Part 6




The fake news media chases this phony Trump/Russia non-story, yet 'media watchdogs' Media Matters are trying to have Sean Hannity thrown off the air because he's getting the truth out on the murder of Seth Rich.

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

This Story Has Nothing To Do With Bill O'Reilly

Pre-production on Weird Science 2 is well under way. In this wacky reboot of the 1985 teen sci-fi comedy, 2 nerds create the perfect woman on their computer.

The stunningly beautiful woman, named Gretchen, gets her own show on FOXNEWS.

The nerdy, pimply-faced teens decide that just one perfect woman isn't enough, and they create more.  The computer-generated hotties all get jobs at FOXNEWS, and get hit on by co-workers. Chet O'Malley, the host of America's top-rated show, is sued for sexual harassment, and he's forced out.

Gretchen is able to transform and re-arrange matter by snapping her fingers. When Chet tries to ask her out one last time, she turns him into a giant, steaming pile of crap.

Can our nerdy heroes stop the chaos they created, or will FOXNEWS fall to last place in the TV ratings? Stay tuned!

The movie executives involved with this project are hoping for a theatrical release in the Summer of 2018.









Tuesday, May 23, 2017

That's Incredibly Sick!

Here at RSR, we will be introducing a brand new feature we call That's Incredibly Sick!, with correspondents Fran Tarkenton, John Davidson, and Cathy Lee Crosby.

This week on That's Incredibly Sick!, our correspondents take a journey to the Muslim ghetto of Minnesota, where their state senate has shelved legislation dealing with the cruel, barbaric practice of female genital mutilation.

Stay tuned!

Sunday, May 7, 2017

This Is Bullshit, Part 5





The Clinton News Network accuses the Russians with interfering in our presidential election to help elect Donald Trump, while barack obama interferes with the Israeli election, the French election, and uses the Internal Revenue Service to harass conservatives during the 2012 presidential election.

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

Trump's First 100 Days (It's Been Great So Far)

Everyone is talking about President Trump's first 100 days in office. Here to give his report is the President himself, accompanied by Joe Walsh on guitar:

I 've been in office for 100 days
CNN calls me a failure, I am unfazed

I promised you that I would build the wall
We'll have the Mexicans pay for it all

'Just tryin' to drain the swamp and I'm having a tough time
The press tries to destroy me, I'm not taking a dime
but it's been great so far

Late night comics say my fingers are short
but we got Neil Gorsuch on the Supreme Court

The networks hate me all they do is attack
while my party stabs me right in the back

I fly to rallies, my supporters can't wait
then troll leftist jerks on Twitter, making America great

I'm in the Oval Office, executive orders that make sense
while the creeps in the media make fun of VP Mike Pence

Fulfilling my agenda is all that I do
I don't care what they say on (fake news)
My critics say that I haven't a clue
It's been going great for me so far

I fight the GOP, a lot of them are whores
I won the election, the media's still sore

Being The Prez is harder than I thought it would be
CNN still thinks Putin rigged the election for me

We're still trying to repeal that disaster Obamacare
The premiums are a real nightmare
and replace it with something a little more fair
The first 100 days have been great so far