Monday, July 25, 2016

Theater On Minneapolis's LRT Blue And Green Line

Minneapolis has an active arts and entertainment scene, and one of it's well-kept secrets is the theater scene along it's LRT Blue and Green route.

For only $1.75, you can view Black-on-Black domestic disturbances, Black-on-Black fights, and gangs of Black and Somali youths acting like kids. The real fun begins around midnight.

Michael Wendlund, White passenger comments:

"Yeah, tonight I'm just sitting here (at the Warehouse Platform at Hennepin) and minding my own business, when these two Black guys started yelling at each other about three feet away. It was SO REAL that I thought that I might become part of the show!"

Tawana Jones, regular LRT Passenger:

"I'm waiting at the platform, when this Black dude creeps up behind me, and asks me for money. I told that sucka 'don't ever do that again or I'll mace your face!"

So, if you're in the Twin Cities, come and enjoy the show. See you there!

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

THIS JUST IN: FBI BOUGHT BY THE CLINTON FOUNDATION


Obama: No One's More Qualified Than Hillary


Recently, the current occupant of the White House said of presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, 'I don't think there's ever been someone so qualified to hold this office'.

Your bushy-tailed correspondent is still trying to wrap his mind around the insanity of that statement, although I'm not surprised. Mr. Obama insults Normal, intelligent Americans on almost an hourly basis.

He can't really believe that Hillary Clinton is the most qualified person to ever run for the American presidency. Let's not even bother to count our founding fathers or the great Americans throughout our history who could have been fine presidents.

Let's conduct a mental excercise. Imagine that I have a super-computer and a list of every American alive right now. It's 2:30 CST on July 5, 2016. The U.S. population is 324,154,695.

Now, I feed my my super-computer with the names of every American, along with their basic information, including work experience, education info, political affiliation(s), as well as data relating to their writings on social media. I also tell the computer to rank people I agree with and share common values higher on my list.

With all this data, my super-computer spits out a Power Rankings List Of  The Presidential Qualifications Of Every Living American Right Now. Every American, ranked from #1 all the way down to #324,154,695. These are my hypothetical findings:

At #1-100, there's a lot of my favorite Governors and ex-Governors, like former Texas Governor Rick Perry and current Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker. Even Jeb Bush is in my top 100. Texas Senator Ted Cruz hovers around in the top 10. Donald Trump isn't anywhere in the top 100. Oh, waitaminnut, yes he is. He shoots up to #5 after making a speech about illegal aliens, then slips down after calling Ted Cruz a liar.

At #101-1000, I find many terrific Republican state legislators serving across the country. Elect them to a few terms, and they'll crack the top 100. Also, talk radio faves Rush Limbaugh and Mark Levin are at #108 and #154 respectively.

At #1000-50,000, I find a lot of good, solid conservatives, many of whom I follow on Twitter.

At #50,000-58,167,000, here I find basically anyone who voted for Mitt Romney in 2012. These are Americans with enough wisdom to have voted against Barack Obama.

At #59,000,000-#100,000,000, here I find a lot of people who distrust government and don't vote. They work, and hang out with their friends afterwards.

Still, no sign of Hillary.

At #100,000,001-200,000,000, here I find a lot of blue-dog Democrats and government employees. There's also many present and former prison convicts here.

At #200,000,001-300,000,000, there are a lot of people on welfare. They wait for the beginning of the month, and love their Obama phones. Their kids are in prison, in a gang, or dead.

Finally, at #300,000,001-324,154.695, we have the absolute least qualified. Barack Obama is ranked at 324,154,517. The only reason he isn't ranked lower is because he is already the current occupant of the White House and so far he hasn't burned it down.

It's quite safe to say that America is living under a kakistocracy.

Hillary Clinton is ranked at 324,154,480. On paper, she appears quite qualified as a former U.S. Senator and Secretary of State. However, when you factor in severe ethic lapses, corruption, and even treason, she is literally disqualified.

Bernie Madoff is ranked 324,100,795 and he's in prison.

There are people in comas right now that I would vote for before I'd vote for Hillary. They're do far less damage to this country.

They are more qualified than Hillary Clinton.



Monday, July 4, 2016

The President Wishes America A Happy Fourth Of July


On behalf of Myself, wife Michelle, Attorney General Loretta Lynch, and everyone at the Obama White House....

We wish The American People a Happy Fourth of July.

Allahu Akbar.

P.S.-The Fourth of July Picnic honoring our vets is cancelled. Nyaahhh!!!