Thursday, September 18, 2014

Have It Your Way, Burger King

The Burger King has had it with American corporate taxes, so he's escaping to Canada.

Barack Obama won't build a fence to keep illegal aliens out of the country, but it appears he might build a fence to keep BK from leaving America's confiscatory corporate taxes.

He might even re-build The Berlin Wall by the time he's out of office.

Burger King's famous catch-phrase is Have it your way. The narcissistic bully in The White House thinks he can, bullying Congress and The Supreme Court, abusing his power by using The IRS to attack critics and opponents, tries to to intimidate our ally Israel....

....and do you remember what Prezzy Stompy Foot did during the government shutdown last October?

It's good to see someone refuse to be bullied by the petulant jerk.

Good for you, Burger King.

Commander Obama's War On Ebola

El Presidente' Obama is sending 3,000 American soldiers to Africa, supposedly to fight Ebola.

This is the same genius who ordered 22 members of Seal Team 6 (the team we are told killed terrorist mastermind Osama bin Laden ) to board the SAME helicopter, which was shot down, killing everybody.

This is the same President Obama who hired his own sleazy army of lawyers that disenfranchised our military voters serving overseas during the election of 2012.

This is the same President Obama who referred to the massacre at Fort Hood as workplace violence, as Islamic maniac Major Hasan Nidal opened fire on unarmed military personnel, yelling 'Allahu Akbar'.

This is the same President Obama who wants a national civilian security force as well-funded as our military.

This is the same President Obama who is purging our military of Christians and anyone who speaks out against The Administration. He is currently gutting the military, and reducing us as a superpower.

This is the same President Obama who refuses to protect our borders against invaders, even though we are hearing that ISIS is in America.

And now, he's sending 3,000 American soldiers, supposedly to fight Ebola. Maybe he should send his national civilian security force instead.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Yes, We Have No More Bacon

Recently, a restaurateur in Vermont took down a sign after a Muslim took offense to the word 'bacon' on the offending sign.

What's next? Will grocery stores actually begin taking pork and bacon products off the shelves because it offends easily-offended Muslims? What about restaurants, or your neighborhood cafe? I was reading this story, and started humming 'Yes, We Have No Bananas', substituting some of the lyrics:

Oh yes, we'll sell no more bacon
We'll sell no more bacon at all
A Muslim in hijab says it's a big prob
They say pig meat is really unclean
We no longer got' em
Ham from a piggy's bottom
So YES, we have no more more bacon
We'll sell no more bacon no more

Oh yes, we'll sell no more bacon
We'll offer bacon no more
Someone was bitchin' over bacon in kitchen
So we are going halal
You can't have bacon in your burger
Those Muslims will scream bloody murder
So, yes, we have no more bacon
We have no more bacon no more

Monday, September 8, 2014

Dear Leader Has No Strategy

Fresh off another vacation, President Nero admitted to not having a strategy in dealing with terrorists. Between golf, vacations, and wrecking America, Dear Leader just can't find the time.

The President has no strategy in dealing with ISIS, but he has a rather extensive strategy in dealing with his political opponents. During the presidential election of 2012, he disenfranchised our military voters serving overseas, rigged voting machines, and engaged in an unprecedented strategy of blatant voter fraud.

He and his team also relentlessly smeared his opponent Mitt Romney, and used The IRS to harass and abuse conservative groups seeking 501c4 status.

The President has no strategy in dealing with terrorists, but had a strategy in doing harm to guns rights in America. He sold guns to dangerous Mexican drug dealers. This strategy was called Operation Fast And Furious, and it was his strategy to undermine The Second Amendment.

If the drug dealers caused enough death and mayhem, The American People themselves might cry out for strict gun control.

The President has no strategy in dealing with terrorists, but has a strategy to get his way. He ignores, insults, and threatens the other branches of our government. He abuses the power of the presidency regularly, acting like an arrogant, petulant tyrant.

He promised the most transparent presidency ever, yet has an army of lawyers to guard ALL of his records. At the same time, he unleashes his army of leftist regulators, Obamacare navigators, and The NSA to shove their collective snout in your business.

The President says he has no strategy in dealing with ISIS, yet has a multitude of strategies to reduce your freedom. He has appointed dozens of leftist weirdos (called Czars) to push the people, a Cloward and Piven stragedy to overwhelm our system, and a Saul Alinsky strategy to humiliate and intimidate anybody who disagrees.

Wow, with all these strategies, it's no wonder he can't find time to develop a strategy to deal with terrorists. No wonder he wanted to end the war in Iraq.

The war in Iraq was just an annoying distraction from his mission to fundamentally transform America into an impoverished, third-world dictatorship.

Should Minnesota Re-name It's Towns And Cities?

Since the 1990's, the ongoing civil war in Somalia has resulted in thousands of refugees relocating in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Currently, there are over 32,000 Somalis in the state, which boasts of having the largest Somali population of any state in The United States.

In 2006, Minnesota's 5th District voters elected Muslim leftist Keith Ellison. He believes that Democrats should oppose The Second Amendment.

Meanwhile, Somali staffers at Minneapolis city hall declared February 28 'Hijab Day,' as newly elected Minneapolis Mayor, Betsy Hodges and our lesbian Police Chief Janee Harteau pandered to them by wearing hijabs.

More recently, two residents of Minneapolis were discovered to be fighting for the bloodthirsty, Islamic death-gang ISIS. One of them worked at our local airport.

Nobody knows how many more Jihadis reside in Minnesota.

Personally, this bushy-tailed correspondent thinks that our guilty, liberal friends at Lutheran Social Services, Catholic Charities, and World Relief Minnesota haven't gone far enough in making our new Muslim neighbors feel at home. Maybe it's about time Minnesota REALLY gets with the times, and begin changing the names of our towns and cities:

Minneapolis------------> Minnedushu

Only when we begin changing the names of our towns and cities will our new Muslim  neighbors finally feel at home.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Wow, That's A Great Mug Shot

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Charles Barkley: These Ferguson Looters Are Knuckaheads

We continue our non-stop Ferguson coverage with this commentary from Sir Charles Barkley:

Thanks, Squirrel,

What the HELL is wrong with everybody in Ferguson, Missouri? I was watching the news, and saw a bunch of knuckaheads looting stores and smashing store fronts. That's turrble.

People are shot and killed every day. What right does that give you to smash a store window? Somebody built that business, an' you knuckaheads have to smash that window, and rob the store.

The only store nobody touched sold work clothes. Figures. Stupid knuckaheads.

Then, that turrble knuckahead Al Sharpton says that the idiot looters were 'liberating merchandise.' What a jive-talking knuckahead.

Also, that pipsqueak Spike Lee suggested that Ferguson should 'explode'. Knick fans are just knuckaheads.

President Obama called for calm........while his media suck-ups lied about this case, stirring racial tensions, and caused these protests to get out of control. Not cool.

As for Michael Brown, we all feel for his family, but that kid ATTACKED A COP, seriously injuring him. I don't wanna speak ill of the dead, but that was really knuckaheaded. He made a turrble decision.

Then there's that knuckahead who compared the death of Michael Brown with the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. Dial it back, you knuckahead.

Then, those knuckaheads The Black Panthers arrived on the scene. Wow, I feel safer already.

Well, that's it for now. Pull your pants up. You look like a knuckahead.