Friday, July 20, 2018

More Words Of Wisdom And Civility From Representative Maxine Waters

....Hold on, I'm not finished yet!

Restaurants should also be forced to serve everybody except Republicans!!!! That's right. Right wingers should be forcibly starved. I remember the good old days when the Communists in Ethiopia would use famine to get people in line!

Also, I am very happy to hear that special prosecutor Mueller has given Tony Podesta immunity in exchange for his testimony against Paul Manafort. I think we should give all Democrat criminals immunity if they will offer testimony that will throw a Republican in PRISON!!!

I love Whoopie Goldberg on 'The View'! She had that right-winger Jeanine Pirro on the show, then got up in her face, then threw her out of the building! We all need to get up in their faces, swear at them, then have them thrown out. We should do this to right-wingers at all public spaces. In fact, right-wingers who support Trump shouldn't be allowed to go anywhere in public! 

We should be rounding them up, and putting them in re-education camps!

I would like to be in every voting booth on Election Day. If you catch anyone voting Republican, you should call the police!

If we can throw all Republicans in prison, and register 40,000,000 undocumented immigrants, we can put an end to Election Day! Then, we can pass 'reasonable gun control' laws and tax the rich until they CRY UNCLE!

Politicians like me can steal anything not nailed into the ground! I HAVE A DREAM!!!! YOU'RE A RACIST IF YOU DON'T SUPPORT ME!!!!!!

That's all for now. Vote for me.

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

Trump SC Pick Brett Kavanaugh Terrifies Pajama Boy

Last week, President Trump nominated Judge Brett Kavanaugh to replace Justice Anthony Kennedy on the U.S. Supreme Court. Leftists attacked and protested Trump's pick immediately.

Here with a commentary is our very own panic-stricken correspondent, Pajama Boy:

Thank you, RedSquirrel....

Right now, I am reporting from my heavily fortified pillow fort because that orange terror Donald Trump has nominated another right-winger for the Supreme Court.

Candidate Kavanaugh will take away all our rights, and I may lose my right to vote! Women may lose Roe vs. Wade, and we may have our pussy caps taken away!!

I watched him accept his nomination on TV, and saw his family. The elder daughter looks like the 16 year-old girl who bullied me until my Mom had to pull me out of school. I've learned that Kavanaugh is a basketball coach. I bet he blows a whistle like a guard in a concentration camp!

Kavanaugh looks like a happily married White man. THE HORROR!!! I understand he's Catholic, so he'll be taking orders from the Vatican. My hands are shaking as I hold on to my cup of hot cocoa with both hands! This is so terrifying!! My carpel-Tunnel syndrome is flaring up.

Later on, I may take the risk of going outside and scream at the sky until our neighbors tell me to knock it off. 

I am hoping the protesters can persuade Kanavaugh to withdraw his nomination, and we can replace him with someone more centrist, like Ruth Bader-Ginsberg or Elena Kagan.

Well, that's all for now. I'm going upstairs for more hot cocoa.


This Week's RSR Poll (Should Peter Strzsok Be Awarded A Purple Heart?)

Last week, disgraced FBI agent Peter Stzsok testified before the House Judiciary Committee. His smug and sneering antics caused an uproar on Twitter.

Tennessee Democrat Steve Cohen told Strzsok that if he could, he'd award him with a Purple Heart. Many, many war heroes and their families were profoundly offended by Cohen's remark.

Our RSR Poll question is:

Based on his televised testimony, would you:

1. Give Peter Strzsok a Purple Heart, or

2. Give Peter Strzsok a purple eye?

Monday, July 2, 2018

Words Of Wisdom And Civility From Rep. Maxine Waters

My fellow Democrats.....Undocumented immigrants.....violent criminals.....corrupt government officials and career government criminals....Black Lives Matter.....AntFa.....

This is the time to get right up in our opponent's face, and harass the heck right out of them! Confront them when they go out for dinner....If you see a Trump administration official or anyone with a 'Make America Great Again' baseball cap, harass them if they walk into a McDonald's. 

Harass them when they are at the gas pumps! Harass them if their car takes unleaded or if their car is nice!

Harass them when they go into the Kwik-E-Mart! Harass them at K-Mart! 

Chase them around their OWN NEIGHBORHOODS, loudly blowing a whistle to let them know that they have been CAUGHT LIVING THEIR LIVES!!!!

Harass their kids. Harass that rich White boy Baron Trump! Remember, he's just as guilty as Cheeto Head himself!

Rise up, Democrat Zombies! It's time to take over the country! Start EATING anyone you suspect of having voted for Cheeto Head! CHOMP, CHOMP, CHOMP!!!

Break into their houses, and IMPEACH THEM!!! All conservatives should be afraid to leave THEIR OWN HOUSES!!! Only then, will this country will reach SOCIAL JUSTICE PERFECTION!!!!


Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Did I Miss The Rapture?

Dear RedSquirrel Report,

My name is John, and I live in South Minneapolis. Lately, I have had the feeling that The Rapture has already happened, and I must have missed it. The Christians have disappeared and I see Muslims everywhere.

At night, I take a trip to the grocery store and it seems that everyone is dressed in Muslim garb. Their women waddle up and down the aisles, and young Somalis appear to walk in packs yapping in non-English gibberish..

I watch the news, and there's that story about the welfare fraud involving the Somali daycare center. On my block they closed the Rainbow Foods next door. They also closed the Chinese cafe and the tobacco shop. It's been replaced by the 'Universal Academy  Charter School.' I guess the word 'universal' is a synonym for 'Muslim', because it's a school for Muslims.

It appears there are probably 30-40 students, and at the end of their day, 7 or 8 buses line up to take them home. When I went to school in the 1970's-1980's, you could put 30 kids on a school bus. I wonder what's going on here.

Their 'playground' is the former Rainbow Foods parking lot. Someone put up fencing, so the playground looks more like a prison yard.

On the positive side, no one's forced me to take the sign of The Beast yet. I can still buy or sell, and go to work. On the other hand, many Muslims in front of me use their EBT card, which the cashiers readily accept. When I pay in cash, the cashier holds my $20 bill up to the light. Maybe carrying cash is a suspicious thing.

Being a 'Christian' in Minneapolis means 'supporting sanctuary for illegal aliens.' I don't remember Jesus commanding his flock to do this. 

Of course, Minneapolis is ran by radical leftists, so it seems like we're governed by the Anti-Christ.

Thanks for listening. John in South Minneapolis

Monday, June 18, 2018

A Pep Talk For The Democrats

The Democrats are excited about the possibility of taking back the House of Representatives in November. Here to talk about this blue wave is a leading Democrat spokesman:

My fellow Democrats....

I want to tell you just how excited I am with talk of a 'blue wave' sweeping across America on Election Day 2018. We are poised to take back the House of Representatives, and the only real item on our agenda is the impeachment of that orange Jedi clown, Donald Trump.

There are other things to attend to. We must undo the Republican tax cuts and increase regulations on productive, greedy Americans. We must stop the building of the Trump's Wall, or risk losing millions of new Democrat voters 

Since our party have turned our backs on Black Americans in favor of illegal immigrants, we've seen the biggest drop in Black unemployment in this country's history. Of course, I give the Democrats credit for this.

My Sith lieutenant Darth Obama continues his work within the shadow government, undermining the current administration. He continues to work, using the dark side of misinformation along with CNN to confuse the public and build hate against Cheeto Head.

Our IRS and FBI stormtroopers continue to harass normal, everyday American ewoks and protect our unelected Queen Hillary.

Grand Moff Mueller is keeping Prince Manafort in our dungeon, and we hope that our prisoner gives us the needed information that will help us squash this pathetic, little rebellion against our globalist establishment.

This November, the American people will turn to the dark side, and bring an end to the reign of Prince Cheeto Head and his America-First agenda. They will DO IT, OR THEY WILL DIE!!! Thank You.

Emperor George Soros Palpatine