Thursday, August 10, 2017

Trump Should Make A Deal With Kim Jong-Un

This week, we are witnessing a war of words between President Trump and North Korea's potbellied dictator, Kim Jong-Un. North Korea has been testing their missiles, and threatening to nuke Guam, and Trump is threatening to retaliate.

Your bushy-tailed correspondent thinks this is a great opportunity. Un's eccentric father, Kim Jong-Il, had a history of kidnapping actors, and America has actors who promised to leave America if Trump won.

President Trump should make a deal with the NORK leader. If they don't nuke Guam (or anywhere else), we will send them Matt Damon and Rosie O'Donnell.

We are hearing this week that Un has about 60 miniature nuclear warheads that can fit inside their ballistic missiles.  Perhaps Trump can reduce that number by sending Meryl Streep,  director Michael Moore, or Communist Sean Penn to North Korea.

We can hold these actors to their promise to leave America, and President Trump can literally save the civilized world if he makes this deal. On top of that, the North Korean dictator can begin his very own collection of Hollywood actors. Everyone wins.

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Hillary Clinton's New Book 'What Happened' (Page 345)

Looking back, I realized that the American people let themselves down. The racists and misogynists took the right-wing extremist kooks to the voting booths en masse, while the majority of Americans were simply too fat and happy with the job I did as Secretary of State, and didn't bother to vote.

The Obama coalition of undocumented immigrants, millennials, and unmarried women failed to carry me over the finish line. Oh, and the Republicans engaged in massive voter suppression.

On the other hand, I learned that my team could have done a better job. The next time I run for President, I will make sure we don't ignore those flyover states. We really thought that I had Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania in the bag.

Also, I was shocked to learn just how horribly biased and right-wing the news media could be. They caught and reported my every little misstep, and were instrumental in dooming my candidacy.

Then, there was F.B.I. Director James Comey. Just before Election Day, he aired all my dirty laundry for the entire country to see. I believed that when my husband met with Attorney General Loretta Lynch on that airplane that I was in the clear.

Finally, the Russians interfered with the election. They wanted a weak America, so they threw their support behind Donald Trump. I gave them 20% of our uranium, and they betrayed me because I'm a woman. Both Russia and America are very misogynistic places.

I'm just glad that I had friends who donated to my candidacy in Saudi Arabia and Yemen. Those societies know how to treat women like me.

Ultimately, America wasn't ready for a woman as President.

Sunday, July 30, 2017

'I See Racists:' A Commentary By Representative Maxine Waters

RSR welcomes a wide variety of views. Today we welcome California Representative and possible 2020 Democrat Presidential candidate Maxine Waters. There's a lot on her mind. She sees racists everywhere. Take it away, Maxine:

Thank you, you racist rodent.

I am SHOCKED that many Americans are opposed to Sharia Law. It doesn't take a Rhodes Scholar to see that people who oppose Sharia Law are RACIST!

If you oppose Female Genital Mutilation, you're a RACIST!

If you oppose 'honor killing', you do so because you're a RACIST!

If you oppose Muslims who freely exercise their religious beliefs to throw homosexuals off of buildings, you're a RACIST!

If you oppose Sharia, but support The U.S. Constitution you are a RACIST!

If you support the police, you're a RACIST!

If you don't want the government to run all the businesses in America, you're a RACIST!

If you wave an American flag, you are a RACIST to engage in such outrageous behavior!

If you oppose race riots, you're a RACIST!

Now, on to my next point. I appeared on that horrible racist Tucker Carlson's show on the always racist FOXNews. He had the nerve to ask me how I can be a multi-millionaire on a public servant's salary. Of course, I called him a RACIST!

If you see RACISTS, call the Congressional Switchboard at (202)224-3121

Thank you.

Representative-for-life Maxine Waters

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Kid Rock 4 Senate Campaign Song

Well, I'm runnin' for the Senate an' I cannot lose
beating down commie libs and all that fake news
Find a nest in DC, chill like Trump
Dems turnin' America into a third-world dump
I'm Kid Rock, I'll cut your income tax
Hard-workin' Americans, I got yer back
I'm telling you now my opponent is toast
She looks like she saw a ghost
I love The Stars n' Stripes, I love our nation
Vote for me, I'll cut over-regulation
When I hit DC, I'll work for you
Fighting for normal Americans just like Kung Fu
Running for Senate to serve all you regular Joe's
not special interests for big-government hoes
Bob Ritchie that is my name
I'm heading to DC.....I want to be your....

Senator, baby
It's morning in America, Reagan's my hero
Senator, baby
Sendin' a message to the establishment Neros
Running for the U.S. Senate, baby
Serving the American people, that's what I'll do
Senator, baby I'll fight against the pork barrel fools

You'll hear Bawitdaba when I roll in
I'll have a red tie and an American flag pin
Clean shaved, hair trimmed, I will look the part
Kid Rock is a red-blooded patriot at heart
I 'll reach across the aisle if the time is right
But if not, The American Bad-Ass will put up a fight
I'll cut the government waste and all the fraud
You can take it to the bank, I am The Bullgod

CNN will be traumatized on Election Night
and Rachel Maddow will be turning ghostly White
At my Election Night party we'll be raising a glass
increasing our majority, we'll be kicking their ass
No kidding, We'll be winning, with our foot in the door
You're my boss, I'll remember what you sent me there for
I'll join the Freedom Caucus, CNN calls it 'The Far Right'
I don't care what they say, They can go fly a kite
Cause Freedom, We're gonna beat 'em
DC players....We're gonna defeat'em
I'll be working for the makers, not for the takers
Raising Hell with the sanctuary city mayors
C'mon baby, Vote for me, I'll Rock the capitol with Cruz n' Lee
I ain't no D, I'm no tax n' spender
I see Lady Liberty getting hurt, an' I just wanna defend 'her
Serve like McEnroe, inside the line for an ace
Getting my message out to that conservative base
I'll fight against the deep state obamanation, then
on Sunday I'll appear on 'Face The Nation'

Suit n' tie, and I'm clean shaved
Making sure your freeways are paved
Reading 2,000 page legislation with my staff
Portrait in my office of Robert Taft
Me an' Trump will be Making America Great Again
Me an' Trump will be Making America Great Again
DC belongs to you an' me

Saturday, July 15, 2017

Articles Of Impeachment

California Representative Brad Sherman has issued Articles of Impeachment against President Trump. Your bushy-tailed reporter is surprised that Democrats have taken this long to do so.

I thought they would try to impeach him before he took office in January.

Here are The Articles of Impeachment:

Article One: Assaulting The CNN Logo,

Article Two: Insulting Mika Brzezinski,

Article Three: Improper tweeting unbecoming a U.S. President,

Article Four: violating the mainstream media's First Amendment right to publish fake news by calling it fake news,

Article Five: Obstructing the election of Hillary Clinton,

Article Six: Firing James Comey, and calling Special Counsel Mueller's investigation a witch hunt,

Article Seven: Un-doing the agenda of Our Saviour and President-For-Life, Barack Hussein Obama,

Article Eight: Obstructing the globalist agenda,

Article Nine: Upsetting our corruption applecart.

Friday, July 7, 2017

This Is Bullshit, Part 8

The Republicans in Congress were passing resolutions every other week to repeal Obamacare while there was a Democrat in the White House to veto it.

Now, with a Republican in the White House they can't seem to repeal this crappy law.

Thursday, July 6, 2017

I Was Away For A Few Days

I was away for a few days, and didn't watch the news. Perhaps my readers can help me get caught up on the news I missed as I was enjoying the 4th of July fireworks in Duluth.

What's CNN lying about THIS WEEK? What fake news anti-Trump innuendo are they working on now?

Did Nancy Pelosi, Sheila Jackson Lee, or Maxine Waters say anything mind-blowingly stupid while I was gone?

Did the Democrats in St. Paul or the weirdos running Minneapolis make criticizing Somalis a crime? I could be going to jail.

How are the Republicans going to kill us all this week? Every time I turn on the news, the Democrat Chicken Littles in Congress are warning Anericans that the GOP are trying to kill us all.

Gosh, July is hot. Is the world ending???

Is The Resistance getting any closer to impeaching President Trump and throwing his family out of The White House?

C'mon folks, clue me in.