Monday, November 17, 2014

President Obama Joins The Cast Of Commies In Space

"The needs of the low-information voter outweigh the freedom of the private sector...."

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Meanwhile, In The Democrat Camp.....

What is amazing about this election cycle is just how disciplined the Republicans were, in the face of Democrat race-baiting and insults. GOP candidates spoke about issues, while The Democrats made utter asses of themselves.

While 30-year-old conservative Elise Stefanik was winning in New York....

....contraception whiner Sandra Fluke was getting trounced in ultra-liberal California. 

While Black Republicans Tim Scott and Mia Love ran terrific, inspiring races and won....

....Democrats in Georgia circulated an offensive campaign flyer depicting a Black man being lynched by a group of white men. Race-baiting Democrats also tried to use the shooting in Ferguson, Missouri in the hopes it would bring their base to the polls.

While Republicans ran on the economy, Obamacare, border security, and the dangers of ISIS....

....Colorado's single-minded ex-Senator Mark Udall made a fool of himself, harping on his 'signature issue', birth control. Voters began to refer to him as Mark 'Uterus', and female voters felt insulted by his candidacy.

While Republican Joni Ernst ran on the issues and her interesting, solid background....

....retiring Iowa Senator Tom Harkin stuck his sexist foot in his mouth.

While The Republicans ran against Obamacare....

....Democrats crossed their fingers and hoped that all the people who had their health plans cancelled would somehow forget.

Our sneaky President also delayed the next round of Obamacare's open enrollment until November 15. His plan was to hide it until after the election, but instead he probably ruined Louisiana Democrat Mary Landrieu's chance of winning her run-off election against Bill Cassidy.

Now, she 'wants' the Keystone Pipeline Project Legislation passed. Why now? Maybe she can switch parties before she is slaughtered in her run-off.

Finally, there was the downright hateful candidacy of Wendy Davis. 

The Party Of 'Old' 'White' 'Men'

On Election Night, fresh-faced Republican Elise Stefanik became the youngest woman ever elected to Congress. She will represent New York's 21st congressional district.

She's 30-years-old.

The voters of Utah's 4th congressional district elected Republican Mia Love to The U.S. House of Representatives. She is a Mormon Haitian. If that's not diverse enough for you, I don't know what is.

Joni Ernst cheerfully brushed off sexist attacks, and became Iowa's first female Senator. Two days after winning the seat, she went back on duty for The Army National Guard.

My favorite meme from Election Night featured these three terrific candidates. Democrats like to joke that The GOP is a party of 'old', 'white', 'men'. After Election Night, something tells me that Democrats don't have much to laugh about anymore.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

A Message To The President From A Stay-At-Home Mom

Last week. the president made some strange, insulting remarks regarding 'stay-at-home' Moms. Here to tell us what she thinks about his words is a member of the 'stay-at-home' community:

What in the Hell is wrong with you, Barry? Where do you git off insulting stay-at-home Moms? 

Y' know, your Communist Mama should have stayed at home to look after you, instead she was always runnin' around, posing for smutty pictures.

Frankly, I think you got a screw loose! You're always yappin' 'bout that 'Republican War on Women'. It's you Democrats who can't stand strong women!

While I'm at it, what's up with that sexist pig Tom Harkin? It looks like new Senator Joni Ernst made all you Democrats squeal. I was checking out the election returns in the newspaper....She sure BUTCHERED that doofus she ran against.

Then, there's that dang idiot Mark Udall, yappin' about birth control. Birth control this, birth control that. If you ask me, I think he's got splinters in the windmill of his ONE TRACK MIND!

Not to be out-done, there's that bimbo Wendy Davis. What in the Hell is wrong with her? Insulting her opponent in a wheelchair? Was it THAT time of the month for Barbie? Is she ridin' the cotton pony?

LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU, MR. PRESIDENT! When you constantly play the RACE CARD, you ain't playing with A FULL DECK! (points her her temple)

Now go up to yer room and think about it!

Monday, November 3, 2014

A Pep Talk For Republicans

Dear Normal Patriotic Men and Women of America,

Tomorrow we will invade voting booths across America, and take back our country from that insufferable jerkhole Obama and his Alinskyite minions.

The Tree of Liberty must be re-nourished from time to time with the tears of progressive control freaks and unhinged leftist weirdos.

We will do battle with those filthy, cheating bastard Democrats, and we will win....and win big, although we may run into a few baton-wielding Black Panthers at polling stations. 

We already we know they will cheat like Hell because they know that we out-number them. After all the bullshit, race-baiting and all that 'Republican War On Women' hooey, I fervently believe that we will take back The Senate.

Now, The Democrats and their friends in the mainstream media will try to discourage you from voting. They will tell you that you might as well just stay home, because Democrat victory is inevitable. Don't let' em fool you. If you haven't voted yet, get yourself into the voting booth. The country depends on you.

Then, as we watch our glorious victory unfold on Election Night, you can rest for a moment, and laugh at those brain-dead freaks at MSNBC try to explain their losses.

It will surely be great to watch the lamestream media, with their eyes glazing over, as normal Americans celebrate wildly at victory parties all over America.

So vote. Now you know how I feel. That is all.  

Sunday, November 2, 2014

An RSR Exclusive: We've Identified 'Chickenshit Throat'

Last week, an unidentified Obama Administration official referred to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu as a 'chickenshit'.

The RedSquirrel Report scoops the media once again, identifying this senior official of The Obama Regime:

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Happy Halloween 2014 From The Obamas

Hello America, it's the neighborhood bully, President Barack Hussein Obama.

The First Lady and our Senior Advisers, Malia and Sasha are gorging on candy in the East Wing. They are waiting for trick-or-treaters, who will be getting healthy dried fruit and carrot sticks in their sacks.

Right now, I'm planning a great big October surprise for the country. If you think that Obamacare is scary now, just wait until AFTER Election Day!

I tricked millions of low-information voters into voting for me, and now these terrified Americans are SCREAMING over getting their health plans cancelled. I am also planning a great big executive amnesty for millions of aliens.

Oh look, The White House Halloween Bash is just getting started. FLOTUS is going as The Terminator, although I think her arms are actually bigger than Ahnold's.

We've invited some Walking Dead Democrat Voters, lead by The Crypt-Keeper, Majority Leader Harry Reid. Oh, and look....Nancy Pelosi is arriving as The Thing That Wouldn't Blink.

Here comes Secretary of State John Kerry as Lurch. He doesn't even need make-up or a mask. And look, it's The Great Pumpkin! Oh wait, it's only New Jersey Governor Chris Christie.

I understand that they're not trick-or-treating in Ferguson, Missouri this year. All the stores have been looted, and the candy is all gone. 

As always we have our Obama White House traditions, including a tub where guests can go bobbing for bribes. It's always a big hit with our cronies and S.E.I.U. union bosses.

This party will keep going until I declare Martial Law, or until my ghoulish health care czar Zeke Emmanuel tells everybody to make their 'final exit.'

Just remember, if you are dissatisfied with this holiday:

I inherited this holiday from the previous administration.