Aaron Walker And Sniper Cat Taken Into Custody

The Brett Kimberlin saga got even stranger on Tuesday, as the convicted domestic terrorist/killer/bomber/drug dealer faced one of his strongest critics, blogger Aaron Walker (also known as Aaron Worthing) in a Rockville, Maryland courtroom.


Retired judge C.J. Vaughey heard Kimberlin's protective order complaint against Walker. Apparently, the 74-year-old judge was led to believe that the blogger's work could incite violence against Kimberlin.

Throughout the morning's proceedings, the judge appeared confused, revealing his limited knowledge of this case, as well as the electronic media. Kimberlin showed the judge some screen shots of Walker's work.

But it was Walker's photoshopped Twitter avatar of a cat sniper that horrified Judge Vaughey. The clueless judge immediately told the bailiff to take Walker into custody, then asked the blogger if the cat in question was somewhere in the courtroom.

A barely audible 'meow' was heard, and everybody in the courtroom turned around. The judge ordered the cat also be taken into custody. The silver tabby hissed as the bailiff slapped the cat cuffs on it's fluffy wrists, while Vaughey loudly pounded his gavel.

The cat gave Kimberlin the evil eye as the bailiff took him out of the courtroom.

Inhale To The Chief

Does America want a President who always brags about his drug usage?

In his 1995 memoir "Dreams From My Father", Our Glorious Leader reminisces about his 'choom gang' smoking copious amount of the devil weed. Maybe the reason why he wants Americans to snitch on their neighbors is because he is STILL a paranoid dope head.


Cheech and Chong are funny. A druggie Commander-In-Chief? Not so much.

He gave the Presidential Medal of Freedom to Bob Dylan the other day. Methinks that The Messiah bestowed the honor to the singer/songwriter solely for the lyric:

Everybody must get stoned.

Alright, I got that last line from Limbaugh today. I thought it was good.

The Reincarnation Of Attack Watch

In the last few days, the Obama Campaign has resurrected an old, familiar feature to their 'Truth Team' website, bringing back the online form where you can snitch on your fellow American(s) if he/she/they dare speak against of Our Glorious Leader's Administration.

This all reminds me of the big debut of Attack Watch last September. Like many other conservative bloggers, I took part in the feast of mockery, and added myself to the roll call of amateur and professional writers who 'turned themselves in'.

Your bushy-tailed correspondent was looking at an old post from that week, entitled "Snitching On The MOB". My intent in writing the piece was to illustrate the absurdity of  'ratting out my fellow conservative members of The Minnesota Organization of Bloggers'. In America, we don't turn our neighbors in for disagreeing with our government. That's something they did in totalitarian dictatorships.

On the Sunday following the publishing of said post, I discovered that Mitch Berg had written about my post in Shot In The Dark.info. My initial reaction was, 'WOW! I HAVE ARRIVED!'

A Message From Brett Kimberlin

He was convicted in the 1978 'Speedway Bombings' in Indiana. He also shot and killed a woman on her doorstep.

Last week, the activities of criminal derp (yes, I said derp. That's not a typo.) Brett Kimberlin were splashed all over the alternative news media. His history of domestic terrorism, drug-dealing, bombings, perjury, and assorted other crimes have been documented by Glenn Beck's The Blaze, as well as dozens of conservative blogs.


He was given a 50-year sentence in 1981, but got out in 1994. Recently, he's been creating plenty of mischief,  targeting mostly conservative bloggers and reporters and making threats against those who dare investigate him. In other words, he is turning into Barack Obama.

Thru his dubious foundations, Justice Through Music and Velvet Revolution, he receives millions from wealthy leftists such as The Antichrist George Soros, Barbara Streisand, and Theresa Heinz-Kerry, the wacky wife of Massachusetts Senator John Kerry

So, we at The RedSquirrel Report were surprised to learn that Mr. Kimberlin wanted us to pass a message along to his critics. Here it is:



(NO MA, I'M NOT PLAYING WITH MYSELF! I'M COMPOSING A MESSAGE....)

D'oh!......This is Speedway Bomber, Brett Kimberlin. I am in a top-secret location, with a message to all you bloggers who keep spreading lies about me. Leave me alone and nobody will get hurt.

While I was in prison, all of the other prisoners had a nickname for me. 'Brett, The Belle Of The Ball'. I can't even count the times where I was sold for a pack of cigarettes.

I will not go back into the joint. Nowadays, my associates and I have a real good racket goin' with money from Soros, Streisand, and that insane ketchup lady. 'People.....People who bomb people.....'

(NO MA! I'M NOT LOOKING AT CHILD PORN. I'M WRITING A LETTER. JUST LEAVE MY DINNER OUTSIDE THE DOOR).

But don't blame me for being such a jerk. As you all have been reading lately, organic food turns people into jerks, so blame organic foods.

Thanks to The RedSquirrel Report, for passing along this message. Now if you'll excuse me, I have work to do....

Hello 9-1-1? This is --------------'s neighbor. I just heard gunshots.

The Democrat Primaries: Meet The Candidates

Attorney John Wolfe

Something tells me that the Obama state-run propaganda ministry may just be lying to us. I keep hearing that the Obama/Romney match-up is neck and neck, yet Democrat primary voters seem to be waging a mutiny against Our Glorious Leader.




Maybe the numbers ARE lying, but we know 43% of Democrat voters in the Oklahoma primary voted AGAINST Obama, while in West Virginia,  convicted felon Keith Judd got 42% of the vote. This week, attorney John Wolfe collected 42% of the Democrat primary vote in Arkansas. In Kentucky, nobody ran against Obama, and did surprisingly well, receiving 42% of the vote.

Sure, Obama is the incumbent. We are sure he will be his party's nominee, Still, The RedSquirrel Report believes that in order for the voters to make an informed decision, people should get to know all of the candidates.

Waitaminnut, I can't do this with a straight face. I just like seeing the Narcissist-In-Chief continue to be embarrassed by his own voters. Here is a partial slate of Democrat superstars who stand in incumbent Obama's path to his party's nomination.


Keith Judd, Texas prisoner #11593-051. Received 42% of the vote in the West Virginia primary. Unlike the incumbent, he didn't promise to bankrupt the state's crucial coal industry.

John Wolfe, attorney, took 42% in the Democrat primary in Arkansas.

The Texas primary is on May 29. Maybe there's a convict on death row that can make it on the ballet. Since DEMS support the dead voting in general elections, even a recently-executed convict could give Obama a run for his money.

On June 5, we have the California and New Jersey primaries. This avocado could give Obama a run for his money in The Golden State. We believe that this green vegetable has created more jobs than The President has.



In New Jersey, we're putting our money on this wind-up chattering teeth toy. At least this toy won't try to ram an unconstitutional health care law down our throats, so we like his chances.

See ya at the polls!

The Democrats:The Party Of Larry Flynt, Pinata Effigies, And Death Threats

Since Our Glorious Leader is going through such insane lengths to distract us from his horrendous economic record (I understand that he's our first gay Amish Cherokee President this week), I thought that I'd take a couple minutes to play along, and tell my readers what our Democrat friends are up to this week.

Yesterday, the President of South Carolina's AFL-CIO was photographed beating the hell out of a pinata effigy of that state's Governor Nikki Haley. Simulated violence against a woman. Those unionistas are a real clear-thinking, classy bunch.

Then we learned wheelchair-bound smut peddler Larry Flynt published a phony, photo shopped pic of conservative pundit S.E. Cupp that made it look like she was engaged in a sexual act. Apparently it's getting harder for this fat, psychotic creep to get his jollies.

Now this crap stain with five chins gets his rocks off by digitally assaulting one of America's favorite political pundits. Of course, the fact that Ms. Cupp is a strong voice for conservatism had absolutely nothing to do with it. Nothing at all.

Then there's the story of North Carolinian teenager Madeleine McAulay, who made a video in favor of traditional marriage.

She's receiving death threats.

I'm so jealous of Miss McAulay. I've been working on this weblog for 15 months now, and I haven't even been named Keith Olbermann's 'Worst Person In The World' yet.

Your bushy-tailed blogger posted a story ripping on queer activist Dan Savage just a couple weeks ago. Where the heck is MY death threat?  I can only hope to piss off the liberals half as much as this 16-year-old superstar of the new media.

So, there you have it. The Democrat Party U.S.A.....The party of Larry Flynt, pinata effigies, and death threats against a kid with an opinion. Wow, you jack-a$$es really impress me with your liberal tolerance. Congratulations.

Obama's Cult Of Personality

Yesterday, Mitch Berg posted in Shot In The Dark ("Submitted With Neither Reason Nor Comment"), the music video for "Cult Of Personality" by Living Colour.

With this self-worshipping media hog we have sullying The White House, the song is just as relevant as when it was released over twenty years ago.

You cannot turn around without seeing of hearing Our Wonderful Leader, blabbing on endlessly, while his sycophants have put his likeness on the flag and on basketballs.

The last three years has been a non-stop blitzkrieg of lies, media hype, and state-run idolatry.

He seems to be on the cover of Newsweek and Time magazines EVERY week, peeing on our foot and calling it rain. He and his leftist czars are busy dismantling our laws and our national identity, and replacing it with something horribly alien to most Americans.

Every day, we are supposed to be enthralled by his gospel of self-congratulation and sickening, insufferable narcissism, or risk being labeled a 'racist'.

Just let me explain it THIS WAY. Boys? Hit it.....

Look at the news, what do you see? His Cult of Personality
He offered hope, and offered change, Now America has been re-arranged
Obama's Cult of Personality

Like Fidel Castro, or Mugabe
He says 1 + 1 makes 3
It's his Cult of Personality, Cult of Personality, Cult of Personality

You voted for him because he's black
Nobody knew he was an inept hack
Three years later, Dubya's to blame
State-run media plays their game

He'll be anything he needs to be
Even a gay Amish Cherokee
It's his Cult of Personality

He exploits you, because you're P.C.
He's that smiling face on your TV
The Cult of Personality, The Cult of Personality, The Cult of Personality

He does the slow jam, Even though it's lame
Then says, "Dubya is still to blame".
I am all that Julia will ever need....

I AM..........