Sunday, March 29, 2015

Can Hillary Survive Her Email Scandal?

Lately, the big question for political pundits is 'Can Hillary survive this email scandal, and still win the Presidency in 2016?'

The answer is 'Of course she can!'

She is married to the second-most corrupt political figure in this country's history, and he is still adored by the msm. Surprisingly, some reporters appear to be interested in this email story, but they're looking for a Republican scandal to make us forget about this one. If she runs again for President, and wins the Democrat Primary, she is guaranteed at least 45% of the vote in the general election, and that's not even counting all the dead voters.

Democrat voters love corrupt liars and unhinged leftists. Many live in Democrat-ran slums, and blame those evil, rich capitalists and the Tea Party for all their woes. She will have the inner cities, and as long as they believe their master 0bama still seems to support her, the urban vote fraud machine will do anything to make sure she wins.

In fact, Democrats DEMAND corruption. Their ultra-corrupt unionista supporters break heads if anybody stands in their way. Your rank-and-file Democrat friends do not care about the endless, overwhelming multitude of Obama scandals. They believe that with Obamacare, Dr. Obama in his white coat and stethoscope comes to your house, and gives you free health care.

They still believe this EVEN IF they got a health plan cancellation letter. Half of the country are just plain idiots.

Democrats are non-thinking automatons. They will vote for whoever the party bosses tell them to vote for, and if there's not enough votes to win, they'll find just enough ballot boxes somewhere to put them over the top. If there's an election ANYWHERE, they'll try to steal it. In fact, The Gang From Chicago just tried to steal the election in ISRAEL.

So what if Hillary broke the law? Elitists like Hillary and 0bama act as if none of the laws even apply to them anyways. He's running a crime syndicate out of the White House, and if his handlers decide that she will be the president in 2016, what's to stop her?

The Republicans? Don't make me laugh. They're busy attacking Ted Cruz.

Caption This Photo

Valerie Jarrett: '....and then we traded 5 America-hating, bloodthirsty Muslim terrorists for that America-hating deserter Bowe Bergdahl!'

Barack Obama: 'HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa!!!! Good one, Boss.'

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

The Senate Rejects Obama's Budget Proposal 1-98

"Look Chief, The Senate rejected President Obama's proposed budget, 1-98.

 It missed passing by THAT MUCH."

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

This Is Bullshit, Part 2

"Obama arms our enemies, and guts our military as he trafficks foreigners around the country....

....then accuses 47 patriots of 'treason' for sending that letter to those psychotic rulers in Iran."

Netanyahu Wins Re-Election. Freedom-Loving Americans Gloat

A week ago, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was elected to his third term, even though Barack Obama sent his election goons into Israel to defeat him.

Obama's people bussed millions of Arabs to the voting booths, yet Bibi won by a wide margin. On Wednesday, Twitter celebrated as well-wishing Americans and freedom-loving people tweeted happy messages to the people of Israel.

Here at The RedSquirrel Report,  the best thing about Bibi's big victory wasn't what it meant to Israel. Rather, it was the fact that our anti-Semitic child-king hates Bibi's guts enough to interfere in the Israeli election, and yet all his efforts blew up in his face.

Some people say that Bibi won because the voters in Israel are a lot smarter than voters in America. Yes, that's quite obvious. Still, I was surprised that Team Bibi defeated Team Obama, and their corrupt campaign operatives from Chicago was unable to steal the Israeli election.

I wonder if there are electronic voting machines in Israel that Team Obama somehow forgot to rig. On Election Day 2012, tens of thousands of voters complained that their votes for Mitt Romney instead were counted as votes for Obama votes. In many areas, Romney got absolutely ZERO votes, and in many Democrat areas, the number of votes EXCEEDED the number of eligible voters.

Obama also disenfranchised our military voters serving overseas in 2012, and I'll bet that problem doesn't exist in Israel. If you're in the IDF, your vote counts.

So, come on all you freedom-loving Americans. I want to see you gloat like there's no tomorrow. We won big last November, and now Bibi Netanyahu beat back the crooked, corrupt Obama machine.

To our friends in Israel, I say 'shalom'.......and 'Thank you.'

To Obama and his crooked friends, I say 'Suck it, losers.'

Sunday, March 22, 2015

We Found The Person Who Came Up With Starbuck's #RaceTogether Concept

Last week, Starbucks management decided that confronting and lecturing their customers on racism was a good idea. We at RSR dug around, and found the individual who came up with this #RaceTogether concept.

Here to explain it is it's founder:

Hey America, I'M BACK!

I got a little bored with just drinking hot cocoa and talking about Obamacare. It's settled law now, and almost 8-million Americans are signed up. I was looking for a new cause where I can confront and lecture all you uneducated rubes, and racism was it.

I ventured out of my pillow fort, and got a job a Starbucks. Last week, I approached my boss with my idea, and being a good leftist, he loved it. I came up with a test to determine if you're a racist, as well as the #RaceTogether hashtag. It's so nice to see America finally having a dialogue about race. 

Maybe this racist country can have that conversation in every basement, drinking hot cocoa...OR A STARBUCKS' MOCHA CAPPUCCINO! Go ahead, my onesie-wearing army! Sit in a circle in Mom's basement, and change the world!

As a 26-year-old child, this issue means a lot to me.

Sunday, March 15, 2015

My Pitch To Director Barry Levinson

Mr. Levinson,

I have a movie pitch for you. I enjoy your movies, especially Disclosure. It was interesting how the Demi Moore character abused her power over the character portrayed by Michael Douglas.

My story is somewhat similar, involving a powerful female member of the TV media. Rena Dungham is a liberal media darling and producer of a cable TV program who makes a false rape allegation against a man who works in a college library. She claims that he took advantage of her at a fraternity toga party. She tells her weird tale to a major music magazine, and it appears as the front page story.

The leftist reporter doesn't even interview anyone who was at the party, any college police, or local law enforcement.

She refers to him as Barry, The President of The College Republicans, and describes him as having thick brown hair, an eagle belt buckle and a cowboy hat.

These charges are turning his life inside out. He wants to know why this maladjusted maniac would be spreading false allegations against him. Angry female students demand that he be thrown off campus, and he sees himself on the nightly news as the 'face of campus rape culture.'

Finally, Barry has had enough. He goes to her house in the Hollywood hills to confront Dungham, and hears a faint crying voice echoing from somewhere inside the large house. He takes a look to find that Dungham's sister is being kept in a deep hole in the basement. She is severely malnourished and weakened.

As he tries to save her, Dungham comes at him with a pitchfork, wearing a cowboy hat.

They struggle, and the grotesque TV star falls into the hole, and breaks her neck. He saves the sister, and takes her to the hospital, where they find out that the obese actress has been sexually abusing her since she was 4. Later, he sues the major music publication for slander.

If you think you can make this movie, call me. We'll do lunch.

This Is Bullshit

 Americans can't bring peanuts to school, but illegal aliens can bring the measles.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Betsy Hodges Is Pandering Again

It seems like every time I see Minneapolis Mayor Betsy Hodges on the news or in some YouTube video, she is very busy pandering to Somali Muslims, criminals, and Black voters with a grudge against cops.

She makes an appearance with Somali voters, and dons a Muslim burka. Does she wear a habit when she meets with Catholics? Does she even know any Christians? I've heard of Dressy Bessy, but this is just crass.

I am thinking about going as Mayor Hodges this Halloween. Does anybody know any place where I can rent a burka?

In a recent KSTP News report, the mayor makes an appearance with a Black-American male in one of her 'get out the vote' drives, and makes a playful 'gang-sign' for a photographer. While everyone is lambasting 'those bigots' at KSTP for their report, the guy in the photo and some of his friends reportedly beat and rob a man.

Then Mayor Hodges or someone working on her behalf stops a police investigation into the crime relating to the man in the photo.

Recently, Mayor Hodges and lesbian Minneapolis Police Chief Janee Harteau have been seen videotaped along with American-African children waving black, green, and red flags. They appear to be doing some sort of 'hands up, don't shoot' dance, even though it's been established that 'Hands up, don't shoot' was a lie.

They know that Michael Brown was attacking Officer Darren Wilson, and trying to take his gun, yet the Mayor and her Police Chief gladly partake in the lie in order to make Black-Americans feel good in their victimhood.

You watch her on the news, and think to yourself, 'Wow, she really knows how to make a cop in The City of Lakes feel appreciated......NOT!'

But that's what Democrats do. They import thousands of third-world refugees into our cities, and pander to them like it's going out of style. It makes our new neighbors feel connected to their municipal government. That's how Democrats dominate the cities.

Democrats are also really good at driving terrified White residents and well-to-do voters into the exburbs. They learned this from race-baiting officials such as former Detroit Mayor, Coleman Young.

If there were any Republicans left in Minneapolis, we should get into this game. We should invite European women attacked by Muslim rape gangs into our city, then work to get their vote. We should invite Swedes, Anglos, and Germans who are sick of seeing their cities taken over by Muslims.

Or better yet, maybe Catholic Charities can ask the Chinese government to empty their political prisons, and sponsor these persecuted people. Heck, if 0bama can traffick under-aged illegal aliens, Republicans can surely sponsor a few thousand political prisoners.

Come on Republicans. Start pandering.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Waiting For Hillary

Our correspondent is waiting for former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton to appear for her 2:00 presser. Members of the press are gathered to get to the bottom of this email story. She is 20 minutes late.

Oh, this just in:

Our eye in the sky has spotted Hillary! She is fleeing the scene with her emails:

Monday, March 9, 2015

Ban Bullets, Take Over The Internet, Bitch About Voter Suppression

In the last week, King 0bama has taken over the Internet, banned bullets, ignored another judge, and made a speech bemoaning voter suppression.

We asked our youth correspondent, Eric, to tell us what he thinks of these developments:

Thanks, Red.

Obama is bitching about voter suppression again, trying to gin up anger with his base of dead people and vote fraudsters. He and that douche Al Sharpton lied about 'Hands up, don't shoot', because everything is about dividing this country with these race-baiting jerk-offs. 

They are douches out-of-time, literally living in 1953, even though America allowed King Barry to steal the 2012 Election. Meanwhile, those Republican pussies let this maniac do anything he wants.

The same douche bitching about voter suppression hired a sleazy army of lawyers to disenfranchise our military voters voting overseas. The nerve of this asshole!

Let's see, we have a Black president. He has a Black Attorney General named Eric Holder who violates our rights and sells guns to dangerous Mexican drug dealers. The Black president's Black wife is telling us what we may or may not eat at school. We have Black communists like John Lewis, Sheila Jackson Lee, and Maxine Waters passing terrible laws and ruining lives.

Many cities are ran into the liberal Black politicians. But Blacks have no power? Shut yo mouth, and stop yo bitchin!

This week, our Kenyan despot took over The Internet, and I'm hearing some freaky stuff about what that might mean. For example:

Like most boys, I love playing violent video games. My favorite one is where I get to blow away The Muslim Rape Gang before they can hurt my girlfriend. I wonder if 0bama and his Muslim Brotherhood pals in The White House might deem it 'too offensive,' and take it away. I'll be so pissed :(

0bama wants to treat The Internet as a 'public utility,' like water or electricity. We are hearing this new term 'net neutrality.' I think it means that if someone wants better Internet service, they can't pay to get it. Deadbeats get the same service now.

They already can go to the library. My dead friend Kenny liked going to the library and get on a computer. Isn't that good enough?

Instead of 'Net Neutrality', how about 'school lunch neutrality? I think that we should get the same school lunch that Michelle 0bama's daughters get.

0bama is also banning bullets, unless you're a dangerous Mexican drug dealer. He also ignored and disrespected the judge in Texas who ruled against his illegal, unconstitutional amnesty. Where does this communist punk and his commie czars find the time to do all this crap to Normal Americans?

If I was that judge I'd smack 0bama on the knee with my gavel, and tell him 'You will respect my authoritah!'

He has committed so many impeachable offenses and has done so much damage to our country, it's no wonder he also wants to also take our guns. Jackass.

Sunday, March 8, 2015

RSR Correspondent Jackie Mason Reports From Netanyahu's Speech Before Congress

Last Tuesday, Israel's Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu spoke before Congress. It was a speech for the ages, yet 55 Democrats refused to attend, and not a single member of the 0bama regime was there.

We asked our correspondent Jackie Mason to file this report. Take it away, Mr. Mason:

Thanks, Red.

So, the putz-in-chief didn't like it that Bibi spoke to Congress. Well, Normal Americans don't like that traitorous schmuck giving arms to the enemy. Obscene Jack-ass.

55 Democrat members of Congress boycotted the speech. It's unbelievable to me that these anti-Semitic, immoral poltroons were afraid to anger that creep 0bama. Shameful.

That plastic-faced yenta Nancy Pelosi said that she was 'near tears' she was so offended with the speech. Right. Bibi tells Congress that we can't allow those bloodthirsty psychopaths to have nuclear weapons, but we're supposed to be concerned for that nutcase Pelosi's 'feelings'? Time to grow up, Nancy.

Bibi thanked 0bama and America over and over. He reminded us that this speech before Congress was NOT partisan. Democrats AND Republicans have always been there for Israel, yet King 0bama refused to allow even that groping goofball Joe Biden to attend.

0bama wants a deal with that whackjob Ali Khamenei. One thing I've noticed about agreements with foreign dictators and weirdos is that America's enemies always break these agreements. Bibi said that a deal will not stop them from building nuclear weapons....It paves the way.

It's good that we have at least one adult leading the free world. God help us.

Monday, March 2, 2015

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