Obama Woks The Dog

When the state-run news media harped on GOP Presidential challenger Mitt Romney for transporting the family dog Seamus on the roof of the family car 30 years ago, we believed that Obama and his allies would just use that story to dog the former Governor until Election Day.

That was, until newshound Jim Treacher of The Daily Caller discovered a passage in Our Wonderful Leader's autobiography 'Dreams From My Father'. It appears that young Barry Soetero was 'introduced' to dog meat as a boy growing up in Indonesia. This has resulted in a shocking Twitter hash tag game #obamadogrecipies, where conservatives relentlessly mock The Messiah.

So, we asked Joe the Cartoonist to open a Twitter account on Tuesday, and file this shocking investigative report on the cruel, mocking underbelly of the right-wing #hashtag culture. Joe writes:

For starters, it was apparent that the ringleader of this madness would be 'that queen of right-wing slime', Michelle Malkin. Within minutes, I found myself recoiling in horror as I read what others had tweeted:

#obamadogrecipies German shepherd's stew....chicken-poodle soup....hambeagle helper....Great Danish.

I didn't feel safe. It's a mean-spirited mob on Twitter, and the gang was going to be downright abusive of Our Glorious Reader tonight, but somehow I felt that I had to go along with the crowd. I decided to ingratiate myself to these sick meanies, so I contributed these doggy tweets:

#obamadogrecipies greyhound au gratin, Chihuahua chili dog, creme Vichy sheepdog
deep-fried basset, and spanielkopita.

I felt my very humanity slip away, as I witnessed and took part in the ABUSE we were heaping on Our Wonderful, God-like Leader. Malkin further disrespected The Great Connoisseur of canine flesh, mocking The Obama Youth rendition of The Barack Hussein Obama mmm....mmm.....mmm song. In my opinion, Michelle Malkin was born without a heart.

There were thousands of tweets, making fun of The Messiah's unamerican upbringing in Indonesia. Then it was suggested that these dog recipes be compiled in A COOKBOOK! After monitoring and contributing to this horror, I finally ended my session on Twitter after 14 hours. My, that went fast.

I admit there was laughter, but I also felt deeply mortified about having taken part in this feast of mockery.

On behalf of The American people, I must say that I am thoroughly ASHAMED of the way we mistreated the President. I apologise to this Chrislamist from Hawaii or Kenya or Indonesia, or wherever he comes from.

This is no way to treat a visitor, and if our President was raised on dog meat, I say, 'Who are we to judge the weird culture from which he came?' Perhaps, that is why he is so at odds with America's traditions and our unique, rugged national identity.

Please accept our humble apology, Mr. President.