Saturday, March 10, 2012

A Statement From Rush Limbaugh

I feel like I need to clear a few things up. Last week, I apologized to 30-year old Obama operative Susan Fluke, who posed as a 23-year-old Georgetown Law Student. 

Following her outrageous show before The Democrat's pretend committee, I allowed myself to sink to the left's level when I referred to Ms. Fluke as 'a slut', and suggested that if she wanted $3,000 for contraceptives, then the tax-payers should be allowed to 'watch' her.

If you listen to the state-run news media, you would be under the impression that I've lost my sponsors, my radio show, my home, my wife, and now I'm living under a bridge. Goodbye, Carbonite. Hello, dinner in a dumpster.

If you got your news from Media Matters, or it's allies NBC, ABC, CBS, ect., you would probably believe that Barry Soetoro himself is about to come in here, evict me, and give my show to that fathead Ed Schultz.

If that's what you think, then you're dreaming.

The truth is, I have new sponsors breaking down the doors here at The E.I.B. Studios. At least 2 of the former sponsors are begging to come back. When I see their pathetic faces pressed up to my window, I pull the window blinds down.

This was ALREADY the biggest radio show around. Now, we're even BIGGER! (starts singing:) Goold....Finger!

I'm even thinking about creating ANOTHER big controversy that will make this Fluke kerfuffle look absolutely tame!

I want to thank the lamestream news media for falling into my trap. Suckers.

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