Monday, May 28, 2012
A Message From Brett Kimberlin
Last week, the activities of criminal derp (yes, I said derp. That's not a typo.) Brett Kimberlin were splashed all over the alternative news media. His history of domestic terrorism, drug-dealing, bombings, perjury, and assorted other crimes have been documented by Glenn Beck's The Blaze, as well as dozens of conservative blogs.
He was given a 50-year sentence in 1981, but got out in 1994. Recently, he's been creating plenty of mischief, targeting mostly conservative bloggers and reporters and making threats against those who dare investigate him. In other words, he is turning into Barack Obama.
Thru his dubious foundations, Justice Through Music and Velvet Revolution, he receives millions from wealthy leftists such as The Antichrist George Soros, Barbara Streisand, and Theresa Heinz-Kerry, the wacky wife of Massachusetts Senator John Kerry
So, we at The RedSquirrel Report were surprised to learn that Mr. Kimberlin wanted us to pass a message along to his critics. Here it is:
(NO MA, I'M NOT PLAYING WITH MYSELF! I'M COMPOSING A MESSAGE....)
D'oh!......This is Speedway Bomber, Brett Kimberlin. I am in a top-secret location, with a message to all you bloggers who keep spreading lies about me. Leave me alone and nobody will get hurt.
While I was in prison, all of the other prisoners had a nickname for me. 'Brett, The Belle Of The Ball'. I can't even count the times where I was sold for a pack of cigarettes.
I will not go back into the joint. Nowadays, my associates and I have a real good racket goin' with money from Soros, Streisand, and that insane ketchup lady. 'People.....People who bomb people.....'
(NO MA! I'M NOT LOOKING AT CHILD PORN. I'M WRITING A LETTER. JUST LEAVE MY DINNER OUTSIDE THE DOOR).
But don't blame me for being such a jerk. As you all have been reading lately, organic food turns people into jerks, so blame organic foods.
Thanks to The RedSquirrel Report, for passing along this message. Now if you'll excuse me, I have work to do....
Hello 9-1-1? This is --------------'s neighbor. I just heard gunshots.