WNBA STAR SOPHIE CUNNINGHAM SHOWS ILLEGAL ALIENS AND AMERICA-HATERS ''THE DOOR'

 

Our New Top Ten List: The Top Ten Ways To Celebrate Our 250th Independence Day

Saturday marks the 250th anniversary of the signing of our Declaration of Independence, and most Americans will find some way of celebrating our womderful country's Birthday. Some will have a backyard barbeque or see a fireworks display. While some seem angry that this country still exists, this is OUR ''No Kings Day''. 

From the home office in Bovey. Minnesota, here are The Top Ten ways REAL Americans might be celebrating our country's 250th Independence Day:

10. Deport Ilhan Omar.

 9.  Kiss your dog and eat a BLT in front of your perpetually offended muslim neighbor.

 8.  Ask a Socialist-Democrat to hold dangerous fireworks before lighting it.

 7.  Have a trans activist committed.

 6.  two words: TAXPAYER REVOLT!!!

 5.  DEPORT THE MUSLIMS!!!! (Former Minnesota Viking Wide Reciever Ahmad Rashad can stay.)

 4.  Steal some MORE LAND!! LET'S TAKE CUBA NEXT!!!

 3. Declare war on England AND BEAT THEIR ASSES AGAIN!!!!

 2. THROW ZOHRAN THE MORON MAMDANI (AND ALL OF HIS VOTERS) OUT OF THE COUNTRY.

 1. Tar and feather a tax collector..

Marlon Perkins And The North American Democrat-Socialist Cuckoo Bird

I was listening to a talk radio program last week when a guest compared the new extremist communist-backed Democrat politicians (THE DSA-Democrat Socialists of America) with The Cuckoo bird. 

This species will invade another bird's nest, kill the Mother's babies, and lay it's own eggs. 

The invasive, preditory, parasitic nature of these communist-Socialists who have invaded The Democrat Party establishment act in MUCH the same way. Here to explain this is our new wildlife correspondent Marlon Perkins, host of Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom:

Thank you, RedSquirrel. Today on Mutual of Omaha's Wild KIngdom, we study the strange and terrible habits of The Socialist Democrat Cuckoos of North America.

This preditory, parasitic species have been laying it's eggs in the nests of the ESTABLISHMENT DEMOCRAT NESTS. Three extremist-communists have defeated Democrat establishment birds in recent New York Democrat primaries.

They replicate the call of the red-green Mamdani bird, tickling the ears of angry college grad bolchevik parasites, who respond by voting for the takeover of THE NEST.

Most of these communist voters come from various countries hostile to America. Many are second-generation immigrants, INDOCTRINATED TO attack America on American universities. These Communsit Democrat Cuckoos attack and seek the destruction of the nest, and hunt for The Great American Orange Trumpucanis Maga.

Many of these communist Democrat cuckoos have been laying their eggs on American college universities for generations. There, the young cuckoos are taught and groomed to attack even more nests. They attack Jews, capitalists, and engage in class-warfare against more productive species..

Here is my assistant Jim. He has gotten too close to a nest of mahammadon cuckoos, and now he's being attacked. The cuckoos think he might be a Jew or a capitalist because he has a light complection. GET OUT OF THERE, JIM!!!!

The other birds in this ecosystem are ''makers'' and the communist Democrat cuckoos are ''takers''. Now, the nest taken over by the cuckoos has shrunk, and is falling apart. The cuckoos look for more nests to use BECAUSE THEY DO NOT KNOW HOW TO BUILD A NEST THEMSELVES.. The Mamdani bird has promised free worms for everyone, but his flock of cuckoos will have to fend for themselves soon.

The Mamdani bird has tried to raise the taxes on the top 10% of the most productive species, but they have flown away to Florida and Texas. Soon, The Socialist-Democrat Cuckoo may go the way of The Dodo.

Well, that's it for this week's Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. I am Marlon Perkins. See you  next week.

It's Called Summer: An Andy Rooney Commentary

Andy Rooney is here to remind us that Summer is SUPPOSED TO BE HOT:

HEY LOOK, IT'S SUMMER. Some people seem to be SURPRISED by this, like the newscasters telling us to hydrate yourself and stay inside if it's too hot for you. It gets hot this time of year, EVERY YEAR. It's JULY!!!

Here in America, we LOVE OUR FREEDOM AS WELL AS OUR AIR CONDITIONING. On The Fourth of JULY we celebrate our Independence Day. We have barbeques in the hot July sun, then enjoy some simulated warfare FIREWORKS at night. Most of us are too busy enjoying our blessings to bitch about ''Global Climate Change'' or ''emissions''.

Some people hate us because of our A/C, like those silly socialist surrender monkeys in France. They blame air conditioners for everybody dying from heat-stroke over in Europe. YES, These silly scammers blame us for THEIR WEATHER. MON DIEU!!!

Paris Deputy Mayor Audrey Pulvar blames America for the miserables de LaHeate, as the governments in Europe are deliberatly keeping their people hot and miserable in order to make their population grumble even more about it, and they can then demonize the countries that offer THE BLESSING of air conditioning. 

She blames America for France's weather problem, but looking at this picture of her, I have to wonder ''who should she blame for that ridiculous hair helmet''?

I don't care what the French say. I think that AIR CONDITIONING is one of THE GREATEST INVENTIONS EVER CREATED BY MAN! VIVE LE A/C!!!

Damned If Trump Does, Damned If Trump Doesn't

The America-hating, Anti-Semite Communist-Democrats are getting away with rampant crime and corruption at the same time they incessantly condemn EVERYTHING THAT PRESIDENT TRUMP DOES......OR DOESN'T DO.

The President thinks that the Shiite mullahs ruling Iran are readying nukes and threatening the world with nuclear annihilation (Their national motto is ''Death To America''), so he goes into action and does what EVERY president has said should have been done FOR THE LAST 47 YEARS. He smashed their war capabilities, and the negative nabob Democrats condemn him. 

he brought the hostilites to an end (for now) and tried to make nice with these psychopaths, and THE DEMOCRATS AND THEIR ALLIES IN THE MEDIA ARE CONDEMNING HIM FOR THAT. They openly support the murderous Iranian Shiite regime, hoping that the Mullahs can make Trump ''look bad'' .  They really don't care if President Trump defends us or tries to make a deal with our enemies. They just hate his guts.

Damned if Trump does, Damned if Trump doesn't.

The Democrats condemn Trump's attempts to improve or create a new The White House Ballroom, and his work on The Wading Pool next to The Lincoln Memorial. They acr as if everything The President does IS A SCANDAL Their TDS lunatic supporters vandalize the wading pool, but the Dems blame HIM FOR THE DAMAGE. 

Damned if Trump does, Damned if Trump Doesn't.

The ''No-Kings'' protestors-rioters call The President ''a NAZI'', YET THEY THROW THEIR SUPPORT BEHIND SENATORIAL CANDIDATE GRAHAM PLATNER, WHO HAS A NAZI S.S. TAT ON HIS CHEST. Damned if Trump does, Damned if Trump doesn't.

The Democrats file one twisted, bogus  criminal attack AFTER ANOTHER against Trump. They try to send him away for 700+ years, and try to destroy his family, his associates and supporters while they steal and defraud the taxpayers of everything that isn't nailed down. They impeached him twice during his first term, then impeached him even after He left office IN 2021. They hate him because he has tipped over their corruption applecart, but mostly,TO BE REAL,  they hate him just because he won the 2024 Presidential Election.

Maybe they hate him because Democrats are hateful, spiteful douches AND UNBELIEVABLY BAD SPORTS.

The Democrats protect the third world illegal aliens and foreign criminals, and do it for their votes, while Trump tries to protect The American People. Damned if Trump does, Damned if Trump doesn't.

Trump tries to enforce the laws, but the lawless, America-Last Corruptocrats send their brainless protestors out to interfere and ASSAULT the federal ICE agents trying to do their job.

 Incessant hate and vitriol from the Democrats is part of their normal daily political show, yet the idiot leftist media enablers tell President Trump to cool down the rhetoric. Their constant hate inspire regular assassination attempts, but they blame him for the violence.

They hate his guts because he stands up for himself. Democrats believe that their opponents should shut up AND TAKE THE ABUSE. Damned if Trump does, Damned if Trump doesn't.

This Isn't Your Dad's Democrat Party

 

Last night, leftist-extremists were the choice of the anti-Semitic leftist voters promoted by Communist-Anti-Semite NYC Mayor Zohran Mamdani. New York has gone over the communist cliff like Thelma And Louise.

Gone are the mainstream liberal Democrats. They have been replaced by Jew-hating, America-hating authoritarian foreigners educated by their communist college professors and muslim mosques. Gone is the party of John F. Kennedy, Thomas ''Tip'' O'Neil and Bill Clinton. They have been replaced with anti-Semitic Marxists like Zohran Mamdani, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, and Ihan Omar.

I remember a time when Republicans and Democrats could battle on a national budget, then behave like adults afterwards. After Congress passed Ronald Reagan's 1981 Budget, Speaker Thomas ''Tip'' O'Neil congratulated The President and wished the best for the country. Now, the dems are so full of hate and TDS they would rather stomp on OUR faces than give the President and the country a victory.

20-30 years ago, there was a Minnesota Senator named Paul Wellstone. He was very liberal, yet NOBODY could imagine him physically threatening his opponents like the current Governor Tim Waltz does outragiously and regularly. Wellstone was never obnoxious OR HATEFUL. He had a kindly disposition, and was very much a happy warrior. Now, the corruptocrat lunatics of the current Democrat Farmer-Labor Party defrauds the state into oblivion AND INSULTS THEIR DEFRAUDED VICTIMS..

30 YEARS AGO, Democrat President Bill Clinton listened to Advisor Dick Morris and followed a THIRD WAY (ALSO KNOWN AS ''TRIANGULATION''), adopting a moderate path popular with Democrats AND Republicans alike. The country got along and we actually had a balanced national budget as well as the passage of Welfare Reform..

I remember when both Republicans and Democrats supported law enforcement. Now Democrat corruptocrats, criminals, communists, crooks, creeps, and cross-dressers treat law enforcement officers like criminals, and side with the lawless. One of the LOONEY winners from last night wants to do away with prisons AS WELL AS THE BORDER. 

The Democratic Party U.S.A. is being replaced by The Democratic Socialists of America. They still are calling themselves ''progressives'' because that's what communists call themselves. They promise everything and deliver nothing, and ruin everything they touch. They promise free groceries and free city bus rides, but deliver poverty and out of control crime.

They are high on D.E.I., USAID, STEALING EVERYTHING THAT ISN'T NAILED DOWN, ANTI-AMERICAN HATE, CORRUPTION, AND FULL OF TDS, but they have NEVER shown that they can actually govern.

This isn't your Dad's Democrat Party.

Eddie Comments On Keir Starmer's Resignation

UK's Prime Minister, Keir Starmer announced his resignation yesterday after his liberal Labour Party recieved a sharp rebuke from the voters. 

He allowed the country to fall apart, and let middle-eastern migrant rape gangs violate at least 250,000 White girls, while sending police to arrest native Brits merely for speaking up.

Here to comment on this is Heavy Metal mascot and British icon Eddie Tha Head:

BLIMEY!!!!! What has happened to my glorious, Great Britain??? We have gone from Winston Churchill (Hallowed Be His Name!!!) and ''We shall never surrender'' to allowing inbred middle Eastern migrants to VIOLATE our 14-year-old girls!!!! DISGRACEFUL!!!!

Gone are the days of our Iron Lady PM Maggie Thatcher. My favorite band Iron Maiden sang songs of Aces High and Troopers. Now, Western Europe is being taken over by ugly, inbred invaders, AND THE DAMNED GOVERNMENT IS ARRESTING OUR COUNTRYMEN FOR SPEAKING OUT ON FACEBOOK AND TWITTA!!!!!! BOLLOCKS!!!

WE USED TO FLY ON THE WINGS, LIKE THE EAGLE! FLY AS HIGH AS THE SUN!!!! My country used to fly Where Eagles Dare. Now, this turkey's twat Keir Starmer has surrendered our country to devil-worshipping muzlim migrants!! HE SHOULD BE TRIED FOR TREASON, AND AT FIVE O'CLOCK, THEY SHOULD TAKE HIM TO THE GALLOW'S POLE!!! 

Now, the people have had enough of this, and I say the Mohammadon invaders had better RUN TO THE HILLS !!! England was AND WILL BE a place of safety, happiness, freedom and peace. Once we were proud of our traditions and our powerful empire. England brought The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Queen, Def Leppard and Iron Maiden to the world! Now, our cities have been taken over by grotty, culture-destroying muslim cretins. While our daughters are being used by repulsive muslim Orcs,  the rotten, lying muslim mayor of London Saddiq Khan calls us ISLAMOPHOBES and THAT his horde come in PEACE!  

GET DAFUQ OUT!!!!!

I am glad that Starmer will soon be out, and hopefully Nigel Farage will fight for us AND FIX WHAT'S WRONG!!!. WE REFUSE TO BRING OUR DAUGHTERS TO THE SLAUGHTER!!!! UP THE IRONS AND LET'S GO, ENGLAND!!!!

Is Communist L.A. Mayor Bass Spending The City's Budget On An Army Of Terminators?

Good evening, This is The Bill Burditzman Political Report. I am Bill Burditzsam, and this is the POLITICAL news in Los Angeles......

Communist l..A. city councilperson Nithia Raman recieved a large bundle of ballots, and has bounced into second place in the Los Aneles Mayoral Primary......and.......STOP THE COUNTING!!! IT'S OVER!!! CANDIDATE SPENCER PRATT IS ELIMINATED!!!

IN OTHER NEWS, We have Correspondent Jessica Santa-Maria Conchita de Cardinale on the streets with her report on Unhoused Drug Zombies getting paid by The Democrats for their votes for Mayor Karen Bass! Who says there's NO JOBS in Los Angeles???

Also, correspondent Mohammad Mohammad Abdul Mohammad has a report from McArthur Cememtary with local city union government workers getting the residents at the local cemetary  REGISTERED TO VOTE....

....but tonight's top story. Is INCOMPETENT Communist Mayor Karen Bass about to start A War Against The Human Race with an army of Terminators? At the beginning the 1984 Sci-Fi Horror Movie, There was a raging war in 2029  (two and a half years from now).  The city is reduced to a burned-out pile of rubble and human skulls. A time-travelling cyborg is sent back to 1984 to terminate Sarah Connor, the mother of John Connor, the leader of the human resistance.

Has Mayor Bass sent a terminator back to 1984 to target Spencer Pratt's Mother Janet Pratt and protect The Democrat's one-party hold on The City of Lost Angels'? Has the incompetent, corrupt Democrats ruining the city taken the entire city budget and sank all it's  tax revenue into an army of terminators? We here at The Burditzman Report WANT TO KNOW!!! .

Karen The Commie Bass has already burned much of the city down. The Palisades section of L.A. looks like the Hellscape at the beginning of The Terminator. There's NO LIMIT to the corruption in the looney City Council who recently legalized voting rights among illegal aliens. WOW, THESE PEOPLE WOULD DO ANYTHING TO FEED THEIR INSATIABLE LUST FOR POWER!

We will keep following this important story!

HEADLINE: THE BARACK OBAMA PRESIDENTIAL OUTHOUSE'S GRAND OPENING

 

Reminder: The racists operating The Obama Presidential Center /  Outhouse require you to present an I.D. if you wish to enter the building. Also, They stiffed the Black construction companies who worked on this project.

We wonder if there's an exhibit ''honoring'' Obama's smearing of political opponents and his 2012 presidential campaign that disefranchised miltiary voters serving overseas.

Overall, this is what I'd expect an America-hating scumbag's ''presidential center'' to look like.

Sister Mary Comments On MLB's Pride Month

June is refered to as ''Pride Month'' , so Major League Baseball  are having their players wear Rainbow Flag designs on their uniforms. Three players on The San Francisco squad have placed Bible verses on their uniforms, and the woke league has shown that this won't be tolerated.

Here to comment on this is our Religion and Faith Correspondent, Sister Mary Brokenknuckles:

God Bless the baseball players. Mary, Mother of God, Please preserve the innocence of this great game.

God loves The American Pastime and The Boys of Summer, BUT SMITES THE SODOMITE AND THEIR CORRUPT USE OF THE RAINBOW. This great symbol is God's way of telling his children that He will never destroy HIS BEAUTIFUL WORLD AGAIN. It is NOT to be used as a celebration of sexual PERVERSION!!

The idiot MLB executives ruining this great game should be SMACKED in the knuckles. Where's my RULER?

Major League Baseball has been corrupted by The Gay Mafia, and deserves the Wrath of God. They HAVE BECOME ARROGANT AND INTOLERANT OF WHAT'S GOOD AND HOLY, RUINING THE INNOCENCE OF THIS WONDERFUL GAME. They shove their perverted, corrupted RAINBOW FLAG in the people's faces.

Baseball is Peanuts and Cracker Jacks, NOT PENIS AND ASS CRACKS!!!! PLEASE GOD, FORGIVE US!!!!

GOD BLESS THE THREE BASEBALL DISCIPLES WHO ARE STANDING FOR GOOD. MARY, MOTHER OF GOD, WE ASK YOUR SON TO BLESS THESE MEN. AND Help them stand against this LUNATIC SODOMITE NONSENSE!!

Please, GOD. Show the idiot Baseball executives THE TRUTH OF THEIR FOLLY, FORGIVE THEM, and withhold your judgement, for they don't seem to know what they do. Amen.

ONCE AGAIN, A Team From The DEEP SOUTH Wins The Stanley Cup

Once again, a team from the deep south has won Professional Hockey's Stanley Cup. The Carolina Hurricanes won The Cup last night, defeating another hot-climate team, The Las Vegas Golden Knights, 4 games to 2.

Once again, fans of The Montreal Canadiens, Boston Bruins, New York Rangers, Chicago Blackhawks, Detroit Red Wings, Minnesota Wild (The Minnesota North Stars never won The Cup either), New York Islanders, Toronto Maple Leafs, Philadelphia Flyers, Edmonton Oilers, Pittsburgh Penquins, New Jersey Devils, Buffalo Sabres, Vancouver Canucks, AND The Ottawa Senators were shut out.

 The last time any of these teams won the Championship was when The Pittsburgh Penquins won it in 2017. The MOST SUCCESSFUL NORTHERN NHL TEAM as of late are The Emonton Oilers, losers of Championship series on 2024 and 2025.

People in Minnesota sometimes call their state ''The State of Hockey,'' but Minnesota  also elected Tim Walz. Our previous team, The Minnesota North Stars, lost both times they made it to the FINALS. Our current team, The Minnesota Wild, has NEVER made an appearance in the Finals. The North Stars had to move to DALLAS and change their nickname to THE STARS to win The Stanley Cup.

By way of comparison, teams from Florida have won FOUR Stanley Cups since 2020. Maybe we should start calling FLORIDA ''The State of Hockey''. HOT WEATHER, BIKINIS, ORANGES, AND ....HOCKEY! SORRY YOU LOSERS UP NORTH!!

The Carolina Hurricanes have won TWO STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONSHIPS. Their previous championship came 20 years ago, I wasn't even aware they even had an NHL team back then.

You would think that living in a state of 40 below weather and the finest High School Hockey tournament in the country we could at least compete for a Stanley Cup Championship. Minnesota isn't ''The State of Hockey'' as much as ''The State of Under-Achieving Men's Professional Sports Franchises.''

Maybe I'll post about our other ridiculous men's professional sports teams some other time. Maybe I'll post about my newest theory. ''that The NHL HAS BECOME THE SOUTH'S REVENGE  FOR LOSING THE CIVIL WAR''.

RSR Has Reached A Million Pageviews

 

Question: What's The Difference Between Ballot Dumps And Ballot Stuffing?

While we're on the theme of Democrats ALWAYS fighting dirty and hitting below the belt, how about that Mayoral election in Los Angeles?

This is how it goes. The Republican  ''leads'' on Election Night (or is in position to move on to the general election), then the ''vote counters'' keep counting FOR UP TO A MONTH AFTER ELECTION DAY until the Democrat(s) ''find'' the ballots they need to close the margin. After Election Night, the Democrats always know how MANY VOTES THEY NEED TO OVERTAKE THE REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE AND ''WIN''.

In the 2026 Los Angeles Mayoral Election, there are 3 major candidates. We have two incompetent, corrupt communists, incumbant Mayor Karen Bass and City Council member Nithia Raman. Then, there's the outsider, former reality-TV star and advocate Spencer Pratt. In this primary, the two top vote getters move on and face each other in a November general Election. The third-place finsher is eliminated.

On Primary Night, Bass had a small lead, and Pratt was comfortably in second. Raman tearfully conceded.. Then the ''ballot-counters'' swung into ''action'' Almost a week later, the third place candidate has caught up and candidate Pratt has been eliminated. It's simply amazing how late ballot counting ALWAYS go to the DEMOCRATS.

A normal, fair-thinking person would be outraged by the unfairness of this system. The problem is, that it's legal............IN CALIFORNIA BECAUSE THOSE ARE THE CORRUPT ELECTION LAWS PASSED IN THE ONE-PARTY STATE OF CALIFORNIA.

Almost the instant that candidate Raman's vote total overtook candidate Pratt's, the news announcers declared that she would be facing incumbant Bass in the general election in November. We don't know or think that the democrats running the unfair election system will bother to keep counting ballots.

It's highly suspicious NEARLY EVERY BALLOT DUMP COUNTED AFTER ELECTION DAY MOST OF THE VOTES WENT TO THE THIRD PLACE CANDIDATE Nithia Raman. You would think that al least a third of these late ballots would go to the CORRUPT, INCOMPETENT leader. 

It would be better and more fair if NO ONE KNEW THE VOTE TOTALS on Election Night, or if the state kept the cabdidate's numbers secret. Glenn Beck suggests that Price-Waterhouse should be put in charge of ballots in California. THE DEMOCRATS WOULDN'T KNOW HOW MANY MORE VOTES THEY WOULD NEED TO OVERTAKE THE REPUBLICAN'S VOTE TOTAL.

Spencer Pratt is the most talked about, inventive candidate in recent political history. The incompetent, corrupt leftists that run L.A. let his house burn to the ground, along with thousands of Palisades residents. He spoke about the homeless drug zombie PROBLEM in a very compelling way, while his two opponents have ran away from the issues and THEIR HORRENDOUS RECORD. The two incompetent communists are in and the conscientious advocate is out because Los Angeles is a corrupt, one-party city.

It is possible that candidate Pratt lost because all The Republicans and dissatisfied Democrats have moved away (voted with their feet) and the numbers just weren't there.

In Republican-run states and cities, the people vote on Election Day, then go home and watch the returns as the vote-counters finish counting the ballots and a winner is announced THAT NIGHT. 

In corrupt states and cities ran by Democrats, they MAIL ballots to EVERYBODY, let illegal aliens vote,  ''dead'' people VOTE, they allow ballot harvesting, crooked government unions get ''involved'', they vote early, vote LATE, have surprise ballot dumps, ballot stuffing, the homeless are BRIBED into voting by the Democrats in power, not to mention  MANY OTHER METHODS OF open, brazen cheating.

In conclusion, your bushy-tailed correspondent has one more question about all this. Is there any difference between ''ballot dumps'' and ''ballot stuffing''?

Pompous Narcissist Scott Pelley Gives Us A Piece Of His Mind

A couple weeks ago, new ''60 Minutes'' producer Bari Weiss HAD THE NERRRRRVE of meeting with the program's staff. During this meeting, corresepondent Scott Pelley blew a gasket when Weiss offered some constructive criticism, and was fired.

Here to give his side of this development is Pelley the Great:  

Bari Weiss KNOWS NOT how to tell a story on TELLYVISION. She wouldn't know when to give me my CLOSE-UP AS I LOWER MY GLASSES ON THE TIP OF MY NOSE!!! She is simply an AFFRONT to ALL OF US JOURNALISTS AT ''60 MINUTES''!!! 

Being FIRED WAS LIKE HAVING MY SPOUSE MURRRRRRDERRRRED RIGHT IN FRONT OF MOI!!!! BARI WEISS, THOUEST INSULTED ME!!!!

I 'LL HAVE BARI WEISS KNOW THAT I HAVE SERRRRRRRVED IN COMBAT, REGAILING MY TV AUDIENCE OF MY SUPERIOR NEWZZZZ COVERAGE IN FARAWAY LANDZZZZZ!!!!!!

EXCUZZZZE ME, BUT DO YEWW HAVE GREY POUPON????

That KNOW-NOTHING BARI WEISS  HAD THE NERVVVVE OF ASKING  MOI  WHY SOME VIEWERS WOULD THINK THAT I SHOW A BIAS IN MY REPORTAGGGE!!!!!!! THE NERVVVVVVVVVE!!!!!!

I AM BEYOND REPROACH!!!!! I AM NOT JUST ANOTHER ARROGANT, POMPOUS TWIT, AND I REFUUUUUSE TO BE TREATED AS SUCH!!!!!

I AM Scott Pelley, Journalist Extraordinaire

Democrats Embrace Corrupt Bullies And Trans High School Track Champion-Cheaters

A few days ago, Democrat gubernatorial candidate Tom Steyer met with and congratulated trans High School track champion AB Hernansez, who is bigger and faster than his female competition. It dawned on me why the democrat would identify with and cheer on the trans athlete. 

It's because Democrats are bullies who regularly cheat their asses off as well. They punish the Normal, everyday American taxpayer and REWARD their corrupt supporters. They have government public unions to tip the scales in their favor. They behave like THEY ARE BORN TO RULE OVER US, and us little people must cry ''UNCLE!!!'' and just take their abuse.

Remember a couple years ago when the man pretending to be a woman destroyed his female boxing competition at The Summer Olympics? It was even worse than the most hideous, grotesque domestic abuse, yet the international Olympics community pretended to see nothing wrong with it.

''Leia Thompson'' was ranked around 500 as a collegiate male swimmer, but then he put on a women's swimsuit and became the NCAA ''women's'' swimming champion. Normal Americans know this was unfair, but the Democrats are so in bed with their weirdo trans allies they are blind to the immorality and unfairness of it all. To the Democrats, it is ''intolerant'' not to embrace these embarrassing weirdos, not to turn their backs on the over-matched female competitors.

Democrats regularly cheat their asses off in elections too. Right now, the democrats in California are trying to cheat highly popular California Republican candidates Spencer Pratt and Steve Hilton. In California, it takes up to 3 weeks to count the votes and cheat candidates trying to tip over the Democrat corruption applecart. The Democrats are stuffing ballot boxes AND filling OUT ballots a week AFTER Election Day.

Democrats oppose THE SAVE ACT because they want illegal aliens voting in America's elections BECAUSE THEY TURNED THEIR BACKS NORMAL, EVERYDAY LAW-ABIDING AMERICANS. This legislation would make it harder to cheat, and THAT'S WHY THEY OPPOSE IT.

Do you remember how Barack Obama BECAME an Illinois Senator? He and the corrupt local Chicago newspapers SMEARED Republican candidateJACK RYAN. Obama is one of the SCUMMIEST BULLIES ever to infect this country, yet his supporters worship him.

He divided the country by race and used the media to bully and shame his critics. Right now, we are just beginning to learn how the Somalis in Minnesota were able to rob the country clean. All the whistleblowers were labelled ''RACISTS'' by The Democrat bullies and their dominant media cheerleaders. ONCE AGAIN, HONEST, EVERYDAY AMERICANS WERE SHUT UP AND SHUT OUT.

If you're enrolled in an American university or just erolled in a government public school, chances are your communist teacher or professor is bullying you in front of the entire class if you dare to think for yourself.

For 2 generations, the feminists and the media shoved ABORTION down our throats in the most horrendous bully-victim relationship DREAMED UP BY THE ANTI-FAMILY COMMUNIST-DEMOCRATS. Babies cannot even speak up for themselves, and if you speak up for the little ones, you're labeled ''ANTI-WOMAN''.

California Democrats have rigged their sytem with communist educrats and illegal alien voters, creating a ONE-PARTY COMMUNIST STATE. Their schools are the worst in the country, they lead the nation in poverty and homelessness, and they lead in CORRUPTION, but there are two Republican outsiders threatening to tip over their POWERFUL corruption applecart.

In the current races for Governor and Mayor of Los Angeles, the Republican outsiders have to run their most well-run race. We have to watch out for the Democrats who cheat like Ben Hur's rival trying to puncture his chariot wheels..

If the outsiders win, we will believe in miracles. If the Democrats non-stop cheaters win, maybe we can just say ''CONGRATULATIONS............CHEATERS!!!''

HEADLINE: NJ DEMOCRATS CHOOSE ANTI-SEMITIC EXTREMIST CANDIDATE LINKED TO 1993 WTC BOMBING

 

PARODY SONG ALERT: MARTINA MCBRIDE WON'T BE SINGING ''INDEPENDENCE DAY'' AT AMERICA'S 250 FREEDOM CELEBRATION

Country singer Martina McBride will not be singing her hit ''Independence Day'' at America's 250th Freedom Celebration event in Washington DC. The country singer sent out an Istagram and said she views the program as ''linked'' to President Trump, so she pulled out.

Some other artists, like Poison's Bret Michaels and The Commodors, also cancelled. Michaels said he feared for his safety.

Here she is to explain her decision not to sing at the Freedom event at The National Mall is the Country songstress:

Well, I sang at the Obama White House

but Trump has me feeling worried and weak

My fans expect me to sing at America's birthday 

but I won't for those right-wing MAGA freaks

I got a call to come sing at The Mall

The show's been politicized and so I refuse to play

I will not sing for the ''Right-wing King''

I won't be singing Independence Day

If Reverend Al or one of his pals asked me

I would sing at Juneteenth instead

For BLM I would sing or ICE protests

but not a sea of hats MAGA red

You might think that I'm woke and you're starting to joke

because I decided not to play

You think I'm a fool just a Democrat tool

I won't be there to sing Independence Day

(Chorus)

No, I WON'T SING

for the Orange-haired king

I hope the country fans don't

hold it against me

I won't sing this song

Sing for the right-wing ding-dongs

NO to our National birthday

My band won't play 

I won't sing Independence Day

I won't be there to sing at Trump's national state fair

I refuse to sing or to strum

You might think it's lame, so don't curse my name

because I will refuse to come

I won't sing for that right winger Trump

I don't care what you have to say

I will not put on a red MAGA hat

and I will not be singing ''Independence Day''

(Chorus)

No, I won't sing

for the Orange-haired king

I hope the country music fans

don't hold it against me

I will not sing my songs

for the right-wing ding-dongs

No, I will not play

My fans will be dismayed

I won't sing Independence Day

My fans will be deeply dismayed

I won't be singing Independence Day

I wish Trump would just go away

I'm not singing ''Independence Day''

TOP TEN WAYS MAINE DEMOCRAT SENATE CANDIDATE GRAHAM PLATNER CAN BE AN EVEN BIGGER ASSHOLE

Moderate Republican Senator Susan Collins is seeking her 6th term as the Senior Senator from the State of Maine. It looks like her Democrat opponent will be newcomer Graham Platner, who has a NAZI SS Totenkopf tattoo on his chest. 

Apparently, a NAZI tattoo is not a deal breaker for many Maine Democrats. The former Marine also insults other veterans, including deceased American Sniper Chris Kyle. Socialist-Democrats Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders think he's a solid candidate. 

iT LOOKS LIKE the state Democrat party cannot find another candidate WITHOUT a NAZI SS Totenkopf tattoo anywhere in Maine.

Does anyone know his thoughts on important issues like tax policy, the border, or how to improve the AFFORDABILITY of life for middle class Maine residents? It looks like The ONLY thing that matters to DEMOCRATS is 'HOW MUCH DO YOU HATE PRESIDENT TRUMP'? 

Remember when 2025 when Virginia Democrat candidate Jay Jones WON after suggesting he would like to KILL his opponent and his family? I don't think his voters even CARED WHAT HE WOULD DO AFTER BEING elected Virginia's Attorney General. All that mattered to looney Democrat voters is that he is a HATEFUL, BOMB-THROWING ASSHOLE. 

Is there enough Trump Derangement Syndrome CASES TO CARRY CANDIDATE GRAHAM PLATNER TO VICTORY in the state of MAINE? Maybe there are OTHER socially unacceptble things that he can STILL do to EXCITE MAINE'S batshit Democrat VOTERS.

From the home office in Bovey, Minnesota, HERE ARE THE TOP TEN WAYS GRAHAM PLATNER CAN BE AN EVEN BIGGER ASSHOLE, AND DRIVE THE DEMOCRAT MAINEIAC VOTER TURNOUT:

10. If The President gets a pet, Platner can have a photo taken of himself KICKING IT.

 9.  Spray paint ''ANTIFA'' all over The Lincoln Memorial.

 8.  Cover his NAZI tattoo with it with a tattoo of Hitler and the words ''Mein Fuhrer''

 7.  Write an op-ed ''Eisenhower Was A Shitty General''

 6.  Challenge Republican candidate Susan Collins to a boxing match.

 5,  Win ''The Biggest Douche In The Universe'' Pageant.

 4.  Affordability? Make Republicans pay for EVERYTHING!

 3.. Convert to Islam, then pray in the middle of the street.

 2,  Renounce his American citizenship, move to Mexico, then move in with Rosie O'Donnell in Ireland, then reside in George Clooney's Italian villa, then move back to Mexico, then cross the border illegally again as an illegal alien, then recieve millions in Democrat graft, then move into a free luxury hotel room in a sanctuary city, then get free healthcare, then protest and riot against ICE agents. THEN COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW HE'S BEING MISTREATED BY THE U.S. GOVERNMENT!!!!!!

 1.  Have a trophy made:

This Is What The Democrats Tweeted On Memorial Day

Minnesota Somalicrat Mayor Jacob Frey and Criminal Governor Tim Walz made Memorial Day about career criminal George Floyd, but believe it or not, THAT WASN'T THE WORST SACRILEGE THE DEMOCRAT PARTY COMMITTED LAST MONDAY.

On The Official Democrat Party Twitter/X account:

Memorial Day is a SOLEMN NATIONAL HOLIDAY, NOT a day for taking cheap personal swipes at your political opponents. It appears The democrat Twitter/X account must be ran by seventh grade bullies who don't know better.

Can you imagine what would happen if The Republicans did this during World War 2 or The Vietnam War? It would be like placing a Memorial Day political ad in the New York Times ''remembering the Americans who died in FDR's War Against the Germans and Japanese or LBJ's War against The North Vietnamese.

The reason why The Democrats are so rabid in their hatred for The President is because he stands up for himself and The American People, and Democrats can't stand it. The current generation of democrat-Socialist believe they should rule over the rest of us, to humiliate us, to use the levers of power to rule over us and grab our stuff.....and we should just shut up and take it.

The President and his administration have had success in ''tipping over the Democrat graft-corruption applecart'', so when they attack Trump they they think it's just fine when they hit below the belt, even using our solemn Memorial Day.

I was surprised when I heard the Dems deleted the offensive tweet. It showed that someone at The DNC were either shamed into it or there's a Democrat out there with a conscience. It is somewhat nice to know that not ALL Democrats are soulless ghouls.

This Is Memorial Day In Minneapolis

Instead of honoring America's fallen heroes, disgraceful Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey spent Memorial Day pandering to his BLM (Burn Loot Murder) voter base. At his appearence ''honoring'' dead criminal George Floyd at 38th And Chicago (also known as ''George Floyd Square'), he didn't mention our fallen heroes or that Floyd died from Fentanyl poisoning, 

instead, he condemned former cop Derek Chauvin. The former officer was railroaded by a corrupt Twin Cities court systen and convicted of murder by a jury intimidated by an angry mob.

Instead of honoring our sacred fallen soldiers who died defending our freedoms, the sacreliegious corruptocrat made a show of sucking up to the criminal, racially-obsessed Left. 

Meanwhile, corrupt Governor Tim Walz was scheduled to speak at the yearly Fort Snelling Memorial Day ceremony, but INSTEAD chose to dance with ''George Floyd Memorial Day''  street partiers. After the dancing fool finished, a news camera heard him say ''Not bad for a old White guy.''

We get it, guys. You don't respect normal, everyday Americans, or the sacred memory of our fallen soldiers. You hate our traditions and make a big obnoxious production number of disrespecting us. You democrats have your racially-obsessed, foreign criminal voter base to pander to.

George Floyd died on Memorial Day 2020, and you've made him out to be our patron saint, savior, and god-like deity. There are George Floyd murals all over Minneapolis, and you expect everyone to kneel in The Church of George. You want your communist, criminal, illegal alien, hate-filled supporters to ''like you.''

You and your green-haired mob protest against America's heroes (as well as our federal law enforcement agents), and you all reward each other by defrauding the taxpayers. You need the local media to help distract the people from your non-stop criminal activities. To you, our fallen heroes are the enemy, and you believe they belong on the side of your enemy, President Trump. 

George Floyd represents all the racially-obsessed criminal leftists that you shamelessly, obsessively suck up to. You craven leftists would gladly rule over the ashes of a city that you let be sacrificed on Memorial Day 2020. 

Disgraceful.

The First Chapter In The Book Of James (Talarico)

 

1. In the beginning, the non-binary god created all 6 genders. 2. The non-binary god blessed the sex change and the abortion. ''Let us kneel and may the taxpayers pray to Moloch and Baal'' . So sayeth the goofy Democrat prophet-politician James with low testosterone.

3. REJOICE!!! The non-binary Jesus blessed drag queen story hour, and blessed the faces painted with thick, bright paint. 4. For the prophet-politician James with low testosterone sayeth it was good.

5. While we abort our own babies, let us throw open our borders, and let hordes of hostile foreigners into the country, and let us give them free stuff. 6. Cursed be the republicans who refuse to be good hosts to our undocumented guests. 

7. We shall teach the children to be desrespectful, and undermine the parents, for the state and government schools know best.

8. We will bear false witness against acquitted Candidate Paxton. And so, James with low testosterone made campaign ads. 9. Whoa unto you, you rotten Christian Nationalists. You believe in silly things like scripture, while WE follow our heart!

9. Let us say that men in women's sports is only a ''far-right conspiracy'', and that athiests are the REAL CHRISTIANS! 10. Cursed be unto you, for You refuse to give your oxen to your neighbor!!!

11. And the prophet-politician James (Talarico) with low testosterone supported the progressive agenda, and said , ''So shall it be done!''

HEADLINE: NYC COMMUNIST MAYOR MAMDANI TO VIOLATE LANDLORD PROPERTY RIGHTS

 

RSR'S WORD OF THE DAY: PHILANTHROPATH

 philanthropath (n.)

Defination: a psychopath who masquerades as a philanthropist.

                                      George Soros

                                                            Bill Gates                                                                 

RSR EXCLUSIVE: TUCKER CARLSON. PODCASTER OR POD PERSON?

Just a couple years ago political pundits like Tucker Carlson and Candice Owens were highly popular among conservatives. Carlson was the host of a highly-rated show on FOXNEWS before moving on to his successful podcast on Twitter/X and fans of Candice Owens were openly considering her a potential presidential candidate.

Megyn Kelley was a popular host on FOXNEWS and Steve Bannon was a Trump presidential campaign strategist but then he was fired. There seems to be some sort of falling out with these two and supporters of the president.

Now, it seems like Tucker Carlson and many other popular conservatives are coming out as anti-Semitic and the Candice Owens crowd are accusing The Trump Administration of working for The Israeli Government.  On GAB, offensive anti-Semitic cartoons featuring repulsive hook-nosed Joos are everywhere and I recently saw a cartoon of Israeli President Benjamin Netanyahu taking President Trump for a walk with our president on a leash.

What is going on here?

Some time between the start of Carlson's X/Twitter program and now, SOMETHING WIERD happened, and our investigative reporters at RSR want to find out what it is. 

Our I-team have found evidence that the person we once knew as Tucker Carlson has ceased to exist and a pod person has taken his place, much like in the horror movie ''Invasion Of The Body Snatchers''.

It is also quite possible that Tucker Carlson is just an attention-grabbing media whore who uses his podcast to anger conservatives because that would give him more liberal viewers.

It is ALSO possible that he believes that he is just an honest reporter of facts and we all have our heads up our asses. Or maybe WE are the pod people, and that the traditional conservative media have always been pro-Jew propagandists. Are we supposed to believe the holocaust deniers? Was the moonlanding in 1969 just a big staged lie? Is Trump hiding The Epstein Files???

We know that on April 24, 2023, FOXNEWS ANNOUNCED IT'S DECISION TO PART WAYS WITH CARLSON. The abrupt departure coming less than a week after the cable news channel settled a $787.5 million defamation lawsuit with Dominion Voting Systems. He began his highly successful program on X/Twitter soon afterwards.

If you listen to conservative radio and TV host Mark Levin, Tucker Carlson is a scummy anti-Semitic low-life. I am a conservative who admired and liked Carlson and watched clips of him on YouTube just a couple years ago. WHAT HAPPENED???

Here's something I've recently considered. Do you remember when newly-elected Florida Congressman Joe Scarborough disappeared after he was elected in 1994 as part of The Gingrich Revolution, only to become a leftist media tool as host of MSNBC's ''Morning Joe''? In 2011, Your bushy-tailed reporter suggested the possibility that Representative Scarborough too may have been replaced by a pod person.

Most people are immature, stupid, and liberal when they are young, then become wiser and more mature later in their life. Why would Scarborough be part of the brilliant Republican revolution led by intellectual giant Newt Gingrich that balamced the county's budget, ONLY THEN to be part of the awful cable channel that hired horrendous , haleful leftists like Joy Reid? 

It's very difficult to believe that the ''Morning Joe'' host was the same person as the conservative Florida congressman even though the two men look identical to one another. It's reasonable to believe that the TV show host is a pod person sent to replace the conservative congressman.

We will  keep working on this story. Until then, we warn all of our readers to stay away from anyone who looks like Tucker Carlson, and don't be TOO shocked if one of these days, he appears on TV or Twitter/X and suddenly goes from this:

                                                 ......to THIS.

IDEA: Replace Colbert With L.A. Mayoral Race Reality TV Show

Dear CBS,

RE: MY PITCH

First of all, THANK YOU for firing that Trump-hating, no-ratings douche Steven Colbert. You may be wondering what new show can be a suitable replacement for The Late Show.

How about turning the 2026 Los Angeles mayoral race into a reality show? Spencer Pratt, former star of ''The Hills'' has made this race very interesting  exposing the corruption and incompetence of current communist Mayor Karen Bass.

The viewers can call a 1-801 phone number to vote for their favorite candidate, much like viewers did on ''American Idol.''

Even AFTER the election, we can follow Mr. Pratt (win or lose) in his efforts to make Los Angeles a better, more decent place to live. If current Communist Mayor Bass wins, you can show her efforts to turn Los Angeles into a Hellhole dominated by homeless drug zombies, illegal aliens, corrupt grifters, and beleaguered Palisade residents tearing their hair out waiting for help to rebuild their burned homes.

You should assign some GOTCHA!!! reporters from ''60 MInutes'' to follow Mayor Bass around with microphones in her face, demanding that she explain herself. Perhaps one of your reporters can ask her why she took a trip to Ghana as Palisades went up in flames.

I think this proposed program would garner terrific ratings. Thank you for your consideration.

Best regards,

Red J. Squirrel, Twin Cities blogger.

HEADLINE: FEEDING OUR FUTURE ''RINGLEADER'' BOCK SENTENCED TO 41 YEARS IN PRISON

Feeding Our Future  FRAUD SCHEME RINGLEADER Aimee Bock was sentenced to 41 years (500 months) in prison. 

(3 years for defrauding the taxpayers and 38 more years because she's White).  

Chances are, that if she was a Somali she would've gotten just a slap on the wrist. You know how those corrupt, leftist judges in Minneapolis are.

Welcome To The Democrat's ''Moderate'' Masquerade Party

Hello, my dahlings, this is your HIGH SOCIETY REPORTER, GROANAND BEARITT, and I am here at The Democrat ''Moderate'' Masquerade Party!! Many of the guests are communists and criminals masquerading as ''moderate public servants.'' The guests are entering the ballroom!

Tonight we celebrate The Democrat's sneakiness and duplicity and their williness to lie their asses off as thry campaign . Most of them run as reasonable moderates, and THEN after fooling their idiot voters, govern like the communists, corruptocrats, criminals, crooks, creeps, and cross-dressers that they are!!!

......And here comes new Virginia Governor, Abigail Spannberger in her ''moderate mom'' mask. She ran as a moderate, and now the new governor is governing like a leftist lunatic! 

....and look over there! Here's rustic chic Minnesota Governor and ''fraud-fighter'', Tampon Timmy Walz in his FASHIONABLE, folksey Elmer FUDD RED PLAID HUNTING SHIRT. He ran as a MODERATE DEMOCRAT IN 2018,  AND THEN wasted an $18-billion surplus, pushed through an abortion law that would make Moloch proud, AND  gave the state away to his corrupt CRIMINAL Somali supporters!!!! 

AFTER DOING ALL THAT,  HE added insult to injury by introducing a new state flag that looks like the flag of Somalia!!!! Smile for the camera, Tampon!

Some notable Democrats couldn't make it to the Democrat's ''Moderate'' Masquerade Party tonight. The members of THE SQUAD, Ilhan Omar of Minnesota, Rashida Tlaib of Michigan, and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York wear NO moderate mask, blatantly and consistantly showing their hatred for America and The Free Market!

Look who just arrived! It's Communist Mohammadon New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani in his giant Smiling Commie mask! He promised free transportation, free rent, and free groceries, but now everyone knows that he was just lying! He just wants to punish the rich and give the city away to extremist Muslims!

LOOK OVER THERE! It's Massachussetts Socialist Senator Elizabeth Warren in her Indian costume hobknobbing with several representatives of the ''civil rights organization'' Southern Poverty Law Center who have arrived with white bed sheets over their heads!

Over there at the punchbowl we see Maine senatorial candidate Graham Platner.wearing a shirt that hides the large nazi tatoo on his chest.

We will keep this party going until their idiot voters stop rewarding this b.s.! Ta ta!!!!!

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS: WE'RE LOSING THE WAR IN IRAN BECAUSE I'M PAYING MORE AT THE PUMP!!!

  

 TRUMP WIPED OUT THE MULLAHS IN IRAN

AND DESTROYED THEIR MILITARY

I HAVE TO PAY MORE FOR A GALLON OF GAS

 

HEADLINE: VIRGINIA DEMOCRAT GERRYMANDERING SCHEME BLOWS UP IN THEIR FACE

 

Which State Flag Do REAL Minnesotans Choose??

Two years ago, the Minnesota DFL added insult to injury after their trifecta of communist loons passed the most extreme, Moloch-pleasing abortion law in human history. They squandered a huge surplus, and rewarded their CORRUPT Somali supporters, HELPING THEM rob and defraud the taxpayers on a massive scale. Their Somali supporters REWARDED them back by keeping them in power.

To top it off, some of their woke ''experts'' changed the state flag. The classic state flag was ''deemed racist'' because an American Indian was depicted on a horse. So, the leftist radicals in charge of the state threw out our classic Minnesota state flag IN FAVOR OF a new flag that bears a striking similarity to the Somaliland flag. 

Recently, about 2 dozen small towns across Minnesota voted to refuse to fly the new flag and to keep the classic flag THAT SELF-RESPECTING MINNESOTANS PREFER. The communist-DFL responded by introducing legislation to deny these small towns state aid. To these CROOKED leftist corruptocrats, surrendering the state to their Somali masters is mandatory, AND YOU OUT-STATE ''COW AND ROCK'' TOWNS HAD BETTER SURRENDER YOUR TOWN OR ELSE!!!!

When Governor Walz introduced the new flag, he did it in the most performative, OBNOXIOUS AND IN YOUR FACE  way imaginable. NO NORMAL, SELF-RESPECTING MINNESOTAN WAS CONSULTED DURING THE RIDICULOUS PROCESS. It almost seems as if Tampon Timmy was out to HUMILIATE his NORMAL, EVERYDAY opposition and make people feel HELPLESS.

Your bushy-tailed pundit is beginning to think that the new flag symbolizes the DFL's corrupt idea that Minnesota really BELONGS to the ultra-corrupt nation of Somalia. The Democrats gave the state to East African criminals, allowing them to rob the state clean, and in return, the Somalis agreed to keep these corrupt Democrats in power. I wonder if Walz, Flanagan and their allies see Minnesota as Somalia's communist satelite state or part of The United States of America.

On the classic state flag, there's a light-skinned farmer tending to a farmfield and a native-American on a horse. The communist DFLers found this offensive, so they opted for a flag that says nothing while looking like a Somali flag. There is a white shape on the new flag that is either a star or a gaping ''hole''. 

Maybe it symbolizes THE Minnesota taxpayer or something. We know the Democrats ENJOY screwing taxpayers as well as pandering to sodomites.

The color of the new flag is mostly a weak, non-descript blueish-green. I can only guess that it's a mixture symbolizing ''blue-state'' and ''environmentalist kook''-green.

There are some of us who would like to see a referendum on the 2026 Minnesota state ballot asking the voters to choose their flag, but with dozens of out-state towns refusing the new state flag and flying the classic state flag, perhaps we won't need a referendum. Rural and Suburban Minnesota towns like the old flag and the ultra-corrupt, LARGELY-FOREIGN urban center prefers flying a flag that looks  foreign.

I look forward to a time when Minnesotans will begin to see themselves as Americans again, and not a stranger in their own country or under the heel of corrupt Democrats and third-world pirates.

''Wayne's World'' Would Never Happen Now

In 1992, popular Saturday Night Live skit ''Wayne's World'' was made into a hit movie. The story features Mike Meyers as Wayne Campbell and Dana Carvey as his pal Garth Algar, two rockin' dudes having fun and starring in their most excellent public access TV show. 

I was just wondering how different it would be if they tried to film this movie in 2026.

The 1992 movie starts with young Chicago TV producer Benjamin Kane (Rob Lowe) laying in bed with a beautiful redhead. They are channel surfing when she turns it on to the public access TV channel. Her face lights up as she and Benjamin watch her favorite local PUBLIC ACCESS TV show featuring two hilarious, rockin' dudes. Benjamin believes he has found a TV show that he can sell to Noah Vanderhoff, the millionaire owner of a local chain of video game arcades. (REMEMBER VIDEO ARCADES?)

In the 2026 version, young men and women don't date, go out or have sex, so this version begins in the basement of Benji's parents house. He is a part-time doordash driver, mostly-unemployed internet enterpreneur, and he's stting alone in his underwear, watching YouTube. 

In the 2026 version, Wayne's World isn't a Public Access TV show. Instead, it's a YouTube reaction channel. Wayne and Garth's enjoy reacting to horror movies. Tonight's movie reaction is the 1968 horror classic, ''Night Of The Living Dead''. Garth is traumatized and Benjamin is amused.

Tonight's reaction video got a good number of video views and Wayne is in his parent's basement in HIS underwear checking out the comment section. Some of the comments are quite funny.

In the 1992 version, Wayne, Garth, and two buddies take ''The Mirth Mobile'' out on the town, They are playing ''Bohemian Rhapsody'' on the car's tape deck while headbanging to the beat. They go to Stan Mikita's Donuts, an eatery open 24 hours a day and it's managed by a local psychopath Glen. (played by Ed O'Neil).

Then they hit The GasWorks, a nightclub, where Wayne is quite enamored with the beautiful, exotic-looking singer-bassplayer on the stage. SCHWING!!!! It's Saturday night, and Wayne and his buds are having fun.

In the 2026 version, Wayne calls doordash and orders a pizza. Except for his YouTube channel, Wayne's life is miserable and boring. In the 1992 version, Wayne wears a ''Wayne's World'' baseball cap. In the 2026 version, Wayne wears a man-bun. Ewwww.

In the 1992 version, Wayne's love interest Cassandra, (played by Tia Carrere) is an ambitious, budding rock star. In the 2026 GENERATION Z version, Cassandra is either a member of a K-POP singing group or an obnoxious, 300-pound street protestor who hates Donald Trump. There are very few actual rock bands existing in 2026.

In the 1992 version, Wayne learns Cantonese, the language of his love interest CASSANDRA. In THE 2026 version, Wayne learns how hard it is to navigate LinketIn, where potential employers demand ''potential employees'' work without officially ever being employed or paid. He learns that most CEOs and job recruiters are psychopaths. Wayne goes back to his ''Joe Job''.

In the 1992 version, Benjamin exploits Wayne and Garth, but at least he pays them $5,000 first. In the 2026 version, Benjamin persuades Wayne and Garth to monetize their YouTube channel. They make a whopping 27.12.

In the 1992 version of Wayne's World, Wayne and Garth go to see Alice Cooper in Milwaukee, They have backstage passes and are excited to meet their hero. In the 2026 version, Benjamin gives them tickets to see Doja Kat. They leave after about 3 songs.

In the 1992 version, the conniving Benjamin tries to steal Cassandra away from Wayne, impressing her by speaking Cantonese and offering to produce her music video. Cassandra makes the video in a sexy jungle pelt and a snake draped over her.

In the 2026 version, Benjamin doesn't even like girls. Cassandra makes a lyric video and dedicates it to The MeToo Movement. If anyone dared suggest Cassandra shoot a video in a sexy jungle pelt she would sue them for HARRASSMENT.

Wayne's World 2026 couldn't happen now. People rarely go out and women are wondering where all the men have gone.

 Men don't ask girls out because when one tries, he is publicly humiliated.  If Wayne's World was filmed now it would be either the shortest, most boring, sad movie ever made or it would be quite unrealistic.

As for your bushy-tailed correspondent, he would rather live in Wayne's World than the world of 2026.

NEWS YOU CAN USE FROM THE MAYO CLINIC: CHECK YOUR MAYONNAISE

Tuesday is Cinco de Mayo, and our friends at The Mayo Clinic would like to remind everyone that Cinco de Mayo is the day you should check the freshness of the mayonnaise in your refrigerator.

If your mayonnaise smells or tastes rancid or spoiled, just dump the spoiled mayo down the cinco.

A QUESTION FOR THE ''NO KING'S'' CROWD

Dear ''No Kings'' protestors,

The fans of, descendents of, admirers of, and families of Martin Luther King, The King of Rock And Roll (Elvis Presley), Evelyn ''Champaigne'' King, Alan King, Billie Jean King, 'King'' (Labron) James, King Diamond, King Vitamin, If I was The King of the world, King Harvest, King Kong, The ''King of Country'' George Strait, heavy metal band King Kobra, Nat King Cole, the rock band King's X, The Sacramento KIngs, The Los Angeles Kings, The King of the Night Time World, I took her to the hotel and she said ''You're the king'', Burger King, King Arthur, King James, King Louis, KIng Phillip, KIng David, King Henry the Eighth, King Tut, King Kamehameha, King Harald V, King Carl XVI Gustaf, The King of Diamonds, The King of Hearts, The King of Clubs, The King of Spades, King Frederik X, KIng Kong Bundy, King Hippo, King Montezuma,  The King of the Jungle, Benny Goodman (The King of Swing), The King of the Road, King Nicolaus, King Nebuchadnezzer, The King of Saud, King Crimson, The King Biscuit Flower Hour, AND KIng Othello

would like to know why you're so intolerant of ''All Kings''. What did THEY ever do to you?

Get the bug out of your ass, you intolerant communist lunatics.

A May Day Message From Yakov Smirnoff

Here to comment on May Day  is Russian comedian Yakov Smirnoff. Take it away:

Heh, heh, heh.......I just flew in from New York City. Actually, I didn't fly. NYC is run by communist mohammadon stooge Zohran Mamdani, SO I HAD TO RIDE IN A HORSE-DRAWN HAY-WAGON 400 miles. Don't worry about me, though. I felt the warmness of collectivsm SURROUNDED BY all that hay!

Before Mamdani was elected, bread waited for you. Now, you'll stand in line just for toilet paper when Mamdani opens his city-run grocery stores in 2029! Heh, heh, heh. Hooray for collectivism!

I saw May Day parade and the bolsheviks were yelling ''WORKERS OVER BILLIONAIRES!!!'' In Soviet Union and Minneapolis, the only rich people were oligarchs, Somali fraudsters and party members, while the workers are DEFRAUDED  and their taxes raised. Many ''lucky''workers won't have to worry about taxes anymore when the $15 minimum wage destroys their job.

In Soviet Russia, we had The KGB. In Minnesota, you had Tim Walz's Covid Snitch LIne. These protesters act like they're the Polish underground resistance or something. SILLY LITTLE, AMERICA-HATING BOLSHEVIKS!!! 

I also saw the ''No Kings'' protests A FEW WEEKS AGO, and I was wondering what do these protestors have against the King of Rock n' Roll Elvis Presley, Billy Jean King, and MARTIN LUTHER KING????? WHAT????

These crazy protestors REALLY hate PRESIDENT TRUMP. Did THEY ALL GET FIRED on ''The Apprentice'' or something? They freely and loudly call him NAZI AND HITLER. They carry signs and yell, yet HE SENDS nobody to concentration camp or prison work camp. Trump must be the WORST DICTATOR EVER!!!

Today the government school teachers marched. If you can read, thank a teacher or your parents. If you CAN'T read, thank a teacher's union! These teachers took their students out of class and brought THEIR FUTURE COMMUNIST AGITATORS to the march.

 The government schools have stopped teaching ''reading and writing'', and replaced it with ''revolutions and rioting!'' These green-haired, commie teachers do such an amazing job at these LEARING CENTERS!!! Heh, heh,  heh......What a SYSTEM!!!!

It's absolutely wild that billionaire Communist Democrat sugar daddies like George Soros finances these hate-filled, anti-American protests to destroy the country that allows them to protest freely in the FIRST PLACE!!! 

WHAT A COUNTRY!!!!!!Heh, heh, heh..............