C'mon all you right-wing meanies! Will you get off of Elizabeth Warren's case? So what if the Harvard Law professor claimed to have native American ancestry in the 90's. She's just a gal trying to get ahead in this mean, racist country.
The fork-tongued Senatorial candidate said she did it so she could hob-knob with other native-Americans. She used this phony minority status for advancement as a college professor, saying that she's a native American just by choosing to be one.
You say Ms. Warren stepped in it by saying that she had proof of her Cherokee ancestry because of her "high cheekbones" calling her, "Fauxahontas".
Then, she trots out her great-great Grandmother, but that didn't work either. In fact, the great-great Grandmother's own husband rounded up and imprisoned Cherokees in the infamous "Trail of Tears". Oompy-Doompy!
If Ms. Warren wasn't such a duplicitous, crazy leftist, I'd start to take pity on her. However, I'm hoping this comical story never ends, and her rival Scott Brown rides on to victory in November.
Yet, Ms. Warren cultural self-re-assignment has really opened this bushy-tailed correspondent's eyes. So, today I am very excited to tell my readers that I too am a Native-American. Say 'How' to Chief Red Squirrel.
In fact, I am starting my own tribe called The Omygollys. My special victim status should easily get me a job at any university in the country, but I'm thinking of opening my own casino instead.
I kinda dig Texas Hold'Em.
Oh. this just in. Cher has announced that if Elizabeth Warren defeats the incumbent Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown, she will perform "Half Breed" at Warren's victory party.