Sunday, May 20, 2012

Mitt: Alive

Presumptive Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney made an appearance in Detroit's Cobo Hall today to unveil a new theme.

While Conservatives like Glenn Beck have jumped all over President Obama's slogan 'FORWARD', because of it's long-held ties to Communist regimes through the years, Romney's team has decided to go retro, opting to go 'BACKWARD' to a better time.

Romney's emcee, wife Anne, warmed up the crowd, before introducing the candidate:

"You wanted the best, You got the best. The HOTTEST candidate in the land....MITT!

Something wonderful and strange happened when Romney unveiled his new theme. The assembled members of the press noticed that there were thousands of young people that came to see their candidate, many wearing bell-bottoms. There was a concert atmosphere all around, as the former Massachusetts Governor spoke about family values and simpler times.

Many in the mostly young audience bounced sizable beach balls around. A Frisbee ended up on stage. Romney threw it back into the audience. A good, MANLY toss.

Candidate Romney hit several themes during his speech. He mentioned that wife Anne looked Hotter Than Hell, and also spoke harshly about the Parasite(s) and cronys in the Obama Administration, such as Solyndra and the S.E.I.U.

He also noted that in four years, America has hit Rock Bottom with Obama in the White House. As he finished his remarks, the appreciative audience shouted Romney's name. They Shouted It Out Loud.

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