Sunday, November 20, 2011

I Am.................Creepy Mask Guy!

We at The RedSquirrel Report believe in giving equal time to all points of view. So, in our never-ending quest for journalistic excellence, we have invited Creepy Mask Guy (he's the guy who wears that creepy Guy Fawkes mask at the Occupy Wall Street demonstrations) to share his manifesto with America. Take it away, Creepy Mask Guy:

"Thank you, rodent reporter. I am Creepy Mask Guy. Perhaps you have seen me and my creepy mask at all of the Occupy Wall Street demonstrations across the country. You filthy capitalist pigs think that there are thousands of protesters with the creepy mask, but in reality, I am the ONLY ONE! I am a man of mystery and, am able to be everywhere at once!

Now, on to my Creepy Mask Guy Manifesto!

We are the 99%, and will take Wall Street down! These dirty bankers lend us money for college, but they don't guarantee us a six-figure salary. For instance, I have been in college for the last 8 years, and I think that I will have that BA in French Philosophy sometime in 2013. I have to pay back about $160,000. And so, I don this Creepy Mask to wreak havoc on you, Wall Street!

We are the 99%, so that means that there are a whole lot more of us than there are of you! This is a democracy. The mob rules!  So, if we want to crap on cop car, WE WILL! If we decide to disrupt the subway system, making it harder for you janitors, waitresses, and dishwashers to get to your job, JUST LIVE WITH IT! You cannot stop us.

There is a good reason why the poor and down-trodden side with us, and wonderful people like George Soros, President Obama, and Nancy Pelosi sing our praises. It's because, they also hate those evil people who work for a living. You may think that you bastards who get up at 6:00 a.m. to go to your job are safe from us, the 99% YOU ARE WRONG!!!! Eventually, we do get get out of bed, and WE WILL confront you!

You think that we will quit. Au Contraire! (I was thinking about majoring in French)....We will fester like a boil on the neck of this dirty capitalist system until we finally get what we want! After a few more meetings of The Occupy Wall Street Committee, we will get back to you!

I am....Creepy Mask Guy!"

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