Pass This Bill

On Thursday evening, our child dictator kept up his assault on the American economy with his big jobs speech. He riddled his Keynesian laundry list with the repeated phrase 'PASS THE BILL!', even though no such bill exists. We at The RedSquirrel Report have in our possession a machine that translates Barack Obama speeches into what he actually means. So, with the help of The Obamatruthtranslator 3000, here is some of Thursday night's speech:

I want to raise taxes on the people who actually pay taxes, so that my cronies will have even more billions to play with....PASS THIS BILL!
I believe that sending checks to people without jobs will create jobs.... PASS THIS BILL!
I want Congress to assist me in my complete GUTTING of America. I want $400,000,000,000 so that I can create another money hole like Solyndra, creating things that NOBODY will buy. I want everyone to work in a union shop, sending union dues to MY RE-ELECTION FUND....PASS THIS BILL!
I want to offer a tax cut to small businesses who hire AS LONG AS IT'S GOVERNMENT -APPROVED....PASS THIS BILL!
If these ridiculous proposals work, I will take all of the credit. If Porkzilla 2 fails, I, along with the entire mainstream news media, will blame you!....PASS THIS BILL, SUCKERS!