Letter To The Editor

Mr. J. Redsquirrel,

My name is Mohammad Atta. Ten years ago this week, my associates and I hijacked four planes, and brought down the World Trade Centers.  We also successfully attacked The Pentagon. I thought that I would write you, and tell everyone what I've been doing the last ten years.

The instant I flew the plane into the tower, an angel grabbed me by the collar, and dragged me before a white throne. I remember bowing before a great, glowing being. I yelled "Allah Akbar!", but this being wasn't pleased. He said something that will echo in my head for eternity.

"Do not call me 'Allah', jack-ass".

I looked behind me, and saw a gallery. It was filled to the rafters with my victims. Then I looked behind me, and saw that my attorney was William Kunsler. I knew that I was screwed.

I wondered where my 72 virgins were. Instead, the judge told me that me and my associates will be taken to 'a very special place'. An angel took us, and threw us into a very large deep fryer.

In conclusion, I have one request:
Get Me Out Of Here!

Mohammad Atta, 12th Circle, Hell.