Dear Mr. Mayor:
My name is J. RedSquirrel. I am a blogger based in the Twin Cities area.
As you already know, Mr. Zygi Wilf, the owner of the Minnesota Vikings, is threatening to move the 2-11 team to Los Angeles. Mr. Wilf wants a brand-spanking new stadium, and is currently blackmailing the taxpayers of Minnesota, who are actually looking for a way to keep this horrendous team.
I'll bet that you watched the highlights of the mighty Vikings' 7-45 humiliation at the hands of The Evil Green Bay Packers, and thought to yourself, 'Wow, what would I give to bring that team of inept losers to MY CITY?'
A Viking player stands as good a chance of being indicted for domestic abuse as playing in the 2012 All-Pro Game in Honolulu. Our defensive backfield often play as if they have their helmets on backwards.
Our starting Quarterback, Donavon McNabb, played the quarterback postion like a drunk, regularly throwing the ball as if he was 'deliberately trying to miss our recievers'. Mercifully, he was benched, and then released by the team.
Not bad for a $7.25 million investment.
I am sure that you, and the two groups currently vying to bring The Los Angeles Vikings to Southern California, are salivating over this possible acquisition.
As for me, I am looking to you for help. How much money will it take to take this god-awful team off our hands?
If you want this team, please contact me at http://theredsquirrelreport.blogspot.com/, and I'll help in any way I can.
Thank you,
J. RedSquirrel
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