Open Letter To ESPN Monday Night Football (From Hank Williams Jr.)

From : Hank Williams Jr.

To : ESPN

Dear ESPN,

Are you ready for low ratings? That's what yer gettin' for takin' my theme song off your Monday Night Football telecast.

In the name of political correctness, You guys have shot yourselves in the foot. By taking the ole' Bosephus classic intro away from your fans, all my rowdy friends will not be watching ESPN any more.

In case you hadn't noticed, my song "All My Rowdy Friends", goes perfectly with ANY sport. Are you ready for baseball? hockey? NASCAR? B-Ball? Softball? Swimming? Jai Lai? Bowling? My song will be a theme song again very soon.

It doesn't matter which sport. My song is the perfect sports theme song.

I am also in contract talks with your Monday night competition. When CBS brings "Big Bang Theory" back to Monday nights, my song will be "So you want A BIG BANG?  A Monday Night PARRRR-TEEEE!!!!
WE GOT THREE DORKY GUYS....ANNNND A FINE BLOND HOTTTT-EEEE!"

I am in negotiations with the producers of "Dancing With The Stars". "So you want SOME DANCING!!!!
A WILD DANCING PARTY! We got Chaz Bono and the gang...."

You get the drift, Hoss?

Even the fine folks at "Hawaii Five-O" are thinking of changing their theme song. "Are you ready for some FIVE-O? A CRIMEFIGHTIN' PARTY".

You guys won't be able to escape the mighty Bosephus train! And when it hits, "YOU'LL LOOK LIKE WILEY COYOTE! A SPLITTIN' HEADACHE PARTY!!!!"

You will even hear my song in your nightmares.

Yours truly. Hank.