Monday, April 7, 2014

Red Forman's Open Letter To Democrat Rep. Jim Moran

To: Representative Jim Moran (D-Va)

From: Red Forman, Uppity Peasant


Dear Rep. Moran,

I've learned that you have been complaining lately that Congress is underpaid. You, sir, are a flaming dumb ass.

Watching idiots like you on TV is way more offensive than the worst, most stupid reality TV freakshow. In fact, I'd vote for Kim Kardashian if she ran against you, because she probably has more respect for the taxpayer than you do. You voted to kill jobs and steal millions of health plans via The 'Affordable' Care Act, and while The American People are suffering because of self-serving creeps like you, you bitch about your congressional salary. 

In the private sector, stealing is illegal. If you weren't in the government, you'd be convicted in a jaw-dropping myriad of crimes. You wage war on the productive, and then call it 'public service.'

You live and 'work' in a wealth-stealing bubble called Washington DC. Robbing the productive and re-distributing income is the 'industry' of DC. You make $174,000 a year, and probably live in a McMansion in the suburbs. As a tax-payer, I am forced to pay your salary, which YOU CAN VOTE TO INCREASE. I know this because I sometimes watch C-SPAN when I can't sleep.

Congress is a cesspool of corruption, dirty deals, and liars. Your crooked pals consider it an art. You say that you 'care' more than your opponents, but many of us know better. I know a liar when I see one. Jack-asses like you remind me of my idiot son Eric.

The difference between you Eric is I still have hope that he will someday become a productive member of society. You, on the other hand, destroy dreams, violate our freedoms, and steal our income, and then you heap insults to injury every time I see your idiotic, bull-shitting mug on TV.

Kiss our ass, you filthy thievin' fraud.

Yours truly,

Red Forman, uppity peasant.


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