With all the horrible news coming out of the Middle East in recent days, your bushy-tailed correspondent thinks that this is a good time to send a message to our Muslim neighbors:
My name is J. RedSquirrel, and I'm an American. Real Americans believe in the freedom of speech, an important freedom which is guaranteed in The First Amendment of The United States Constitution. In America, citizens are free to speak without being hassled by the government or burned at the stake.
Our current President supposedly knows this, having taught Constitutional Law at one time.
Talk radio superstar Rush Limbaugh, as well as the leftist nut jobs from MSNBC are free to say whatever is on their mind. You can also express yourself through your writings, as well as contributing your money to your favorite candidate.
This month, we've noticed a threat to freedom. A video has been blamed for inciting riots in the Middle East. The new Egyptian leader Mohamed Morsi has suggested that America be more shariah-compliant. Mr. Morsi, I sincerely hope you read this.
America will never bow to shariah. You can only make us mad.
I am willing to help you out of your cultural rut. You guys seem stuck somewhere in the 11th century, so let me help you out.
I notice that Moslem men are real uptight about women. You stick 'em in burkas, you don't let 'em go to school, and you don't even let them drive.
On the other hand, American men love women. We love looking at them. They're fun to be around. We work side by side with them. I keep hearing horror stories about how you treat women.
I hear that when your daughter is raped, you bury her up to her neck, then throw stones at her until she's dead. Where I come from, that's sick.
I also hear that you are trying to bring your warped worldview to America. I must warn you. If you even try to put the women of America in burkas, the men of America will kill you.
Another thing about Americans- We make fun of each other. Liberal and conservatives rip on each other all the time. We're also free to make fun of religions. If you can't laugh at your prophet 'Mo', you'll never fit in.