Monday, October 22, 2012

Doubleteam On Long Island

If last Tuesday night's townhall debate was a big WWE wrestling match, it would have gone something like this:

Tonight's townhall debate between Our Dear Leader and challenger Mitt Romney features guest referee Candy Crowley from CNN, and a seemingly unassuming studio audience of 'undecided' voters.

These 'undecideds' will ask the questions....and here comes the challenger Mitt Romney, former Governor of Massachusetts. Gosh, his hair is perfect. Ooh, and here comes The Champion, Our Dear Leader himself. It's clear to see that the champion is not going to give his President's World Champion Belt up without a fight.

After his Debacle In Denver, The President will have to keep his lies straight tonight.

And Candy Crowley rings the bell, and the Townhall debate starts....

One voter just asked The Champion what he knew about the attack in Benghazi. After a pointed back and forth with the challenger, the Champion is looking to our moderator, and she throws Mitt Romney head-first into the turnbuckle. Strangely enough, the audience appears to condone this.

Now, a woman (an Obama plant) is asking the challenger how is he different from former Champion George Dubya, and our combatants trade round-houses. Obama has gouged Romney's eyes, as Obama's wife Michelle breaks one of the debate rules by applauding.

It looks like Romney has just powerbombed The Champion into the floor following a question pertaining to the national budget. Oh, look fans! Romney has Obama in a sleeper....but moderator Crowley has told Romney to break the hold and sit down.

The Bamster took the opportunity to tell A Big Whopper, knocking the challenger nearly out of the ring.

Now, Romney is straightening his hair and tie, and he jump-kicks Obama during a discussion on Jobs and Unemployment. The Champion bails out of the ring. His eyes are crossed, and he shakes his head, clearing the cobwebs.

Wow, this is a real battle, folks. It looks like the time limit will run out. Romney was about to smash Obama's head in with his patented elbow smash, but moderator Candy Crowley has rang the bell. She has interrupted him repeatedly throughout the match.

Post-match analysis: Most pundits declared it a draw, with no clear winner. Following this match, it was determined that moderator Candy Crowley was out of bounds (and factually incorrect) in her double-team of Romney.

The final debate will be in Boca Raton,Florida, with WWE superstar The Undertaker in the studio audience. Rumor is that if moderator Bob Schieffer from CBS 'Face The Nation' tries shows extreme bias, the 'walking dead man' will lay the smackdown on the moderator....with a folded chair.

See you then. Good bye from the campus of Hofstra University. So long!

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