"On Friday, Mr. Dilettante was declared the winner of the Minnesota Organization Of Bloggers Mayoral race. I congratulated him on his tremendous victory.
The mayor-elect has ran a terrific campaign. Now it's time for him to give us our marching orders. We are your army, Mr. Mayor.
On Saturday, the new Mayor suggested to me that I may be in line for the position of Director of Parks and Recreation. My cousin Twiggy loves to water ski, so the news had a special appeal to him.
Today, I checked in to Mr. Dilettante's Neighborhood to find that the position of 'Shadowy, Out-Of-State Operative' has been given to me. It is impossible for me to be 'an out-of-state' operative, having resided in Minnesota all my life. Still, I believe that I can still serve The MOB in the capacity of 'Shadowy Operative.'
While I was a candidate, I learned about the issue of AJFS, commonly known as Aging Jedi Flatulence Syndrome. I urge the new Mayor to help in the effort to find the cure of this terrible affliction. Until that day comes, I will wear this brown ribbon (point to my lapel) as a way to remember the victims.
I thank my voters. When I started this train wreck, I mean....campaign, nobody knew who I was. There was even a question as to whether I even existed. I learned that even in a mock election, it's important to let people know that you exist.
Secretary Of State-For-Life Learned Foot was incorrect in saying that I had voted for myself 7 times.
I want to make it clear that I did not I voted for myself seven times. I voted for myself twice..........and then payed some people to vote for me. I found out my supporters are cheap but they aren't free.
Thanks to The Kool Aid Report, for allowing me on the ballot, and letting me take part in this process.