Sunday, January 22, 2012

A Statement From Candidate RedSquirrel

"On Friday, Mr. Dilettante was declared the winner of the Minnesota Organization Of Bloggers Mayoral race. I congratulated him on his tremendous victory.

The mayor-elect has ran a terrific campaign. Now it's time for him to give us our marching orders. We are your army, Mr. Mayor.

On Saturday, the new Mayor suggested to me that I may be in line for the position of Director of Parks and Recreation. My cousin Twiggy loves to water ski, so the news had a special appeal to him.

Today, I checked in to Mr. Dilettante's Neighborhood to find that the position of  'Shadowy, Out-Of-State Operative' has been given to me. It is impossible for me to be 'an out-of-state' operative, having resided in Minnesota all my life. Still, I believe that I can still serve The MOB in the capacity of 'Shadowy Operative.'

While I was a candidate, I learned about the issue of AJFS, commonly known as Aging Jedi Flatulence Syndrome. I urge the new Mayor to help in the effort to find the cure of this terrible affliction. Until that day comes, I will wear this brown ribbon (point to my lapel) as a way to remember the victims.

I thank my voters. When I started this train wreck, I mean....campaign, nobody knew who I was. There was even a question as to whether I even existed. I learned that even in a mock election, it's important to let people know that you exist.

Secretary Of State-For-Life Learned Foot was incorrect in saying that I had voted for myself 7 times.

I want to make it clear that I did not I voted for myself seven times. I voted for myself twice..........and then payed some people to vote for me. I found out my supporters are cheap but they aren't free.

Thanks to The Kool Aid Report, for allowing me on the ballot, and letting me take part in this process.


  1. Hey Squirrel, sorry for the confusion, but something went hinky with the link. You aren't the shadowy out of state operative. If you want to run Parks and Rec, though, it's all yours. Very nice patronage potential. Just let me know....

    1. If I can have a nameplate on my desk, I'm there.

      It looks like I'll have to move my office to a bigger tree.