Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Mad As A Hatter

"Welcome to our Alice In Wonderland party!" The Mad Hatter said, having finished yet ANOTHER round of golf in Vacationland.

America watched, as Johnny the Depp greeted guests, enormous, stuffed animals sat in chairs around a long table, and fruit punch was served in blood vials. There were deserts served on tiered serving plates, as The Queen of Spades wore a leopard fancy dress costume. The Queen of Hearts, also known as Roseanne Barr, yelled. "Off with the rich capitalists' heads!"

America asked. "Why all this weird opulence right in the middle of a recession? Aren't you concerned that the American people might be angry when they find out about this strange party?"

The Hatter grinned like a Chestshire Cat, and said, "Because I own the news media, my allies  will wait two years to report on this party." Then, the Mad Hatter went into the White House for his daily meeting with his NLRB.

"Go tell Boeing to meet us at the chessboard. My men will tell you where you may go. As for Gibson Guitars, my guards will break down their doors!"

Then America met The Door mouse Timothy Geithner,  a hooka-smoking Catepillar Ben Bernanke, and a Congress of Dodos, who gave America a pill. One pill would keep the national debt small, the other pill made it explode.

"We picked the wrong pill," America said. "This is madness."

"Welcome to the rabbit hole", The Mad Hatter said. "You haven't seen anything yet. Have you met my Death Panel, yet?"

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