Wednesday, February 5, 2014
The RedSquirrel Reports From The MN Caucus
There were only four people in my group. Chuck, an elderly gentleman, led us. Nancy was our secretary. Personally, I was surprised that we still let women take part in our caucus.
Nobody told her that The Republicans are waging a War On Women.
Rick, a professional brick-layer. And me, The RedSquirrel. Together, we are THE FANTASTIC FOUR.
Seated on tiny chairs at our secret location, we made a sacred oath to fight for truth, justice, and The American Way. We vowed to do battle against Democrat crime, ineptitude, and corruption. Chuck was unanimously chosen our precinct chairman. We picked Chuck and Rick as our delegates. Then, we held our super-secret straw poll for our party's Gubernatorial and Senatorial candidate.
Our mission is clear: To fight and defeat the evil billionaire Alida Messinger, and her minion, the villainous Governor Mark Dayton, also known as 'Governor Crazy-Eyes.'
Our other enemy is 'The 60th Vote For Obamacare', also known as Senator Al Franken.
Rick read a message from Gubernatorial candidate Dave Thompson and Senatorial candidate Julianne Ortman. We vowed to help them win in November.
Then, I proposed a resolution to the Republican Platform, to rid America of the evil scourge of Obamacare. Everyone agreed.
Then, THE FANTASTIC FOUR parted ways, and I disappeared into the night. See you in November.