Thursday, February 13, 2014

Jay Leno Says Goodbye

Last week, Jay Leno said goodbye to The Tonight Show. Here are his closing remarks from his final show, fed through our TruthTeller 3000:

Well, this is it, folks.

Twenty-two years ago I began my reign as host of The Tonight Show, and ever since, we have consistently clobbered David Letterman like a rented mule in the TV ratings. But the bigwigs at NBC are soulless leftists, and because I have dared to make fun of Dear Leader, I must go.

They're making an example of me, America. After The Olympics, Jimmy Fallon will be the host. It's probably BECAUSE his house band played 'Lyin' Ass Bitch' when MN Representative Michele Bachmann appeared on his Late Night Show.

One of his first guests will be First Moocher Michelle Obama. I'll bet that his house band WILL NOT be playing 'Lying Ass Bitch' when she appears from behind that curtain. I wonder if he'll even mention her ridiculous 'healthy eating' initiatives, her zillion-dollar vacays, her $12,000 dresses while harping about 'income inequality', or her criminally-negligent, despotic hubby.

Yes, America, I made fun of Dear Leader, and so I prepare for the inevitable IRS audit. Before Attorney General Eric Holder sends some of agents to arrest me and send me to one of their FEMA camps, I just want to thank you, our audience.


No comments:

Post a Comment