Thursday, January 16, 2014
Exclusive: Our I-Team Investigates The Light Bulb Black Market
Congress, always knowing what's best for us, made light bulbs illegal a few years back because they were led to believe that the newer, mercury-filled pig-tailed florescent light bulbs were better for the environment.
The RedSquirrel Report I-Team has discovered a dark, dangerous underbelly in this important story, as criminals have begun selling the illegal incandescent light bulbs on the black market.
Meet 'Elliot'. He works in The F.B.I. Illegal Illumination Division. His job is to uphold this new law. He explains:
Last week we raided a hideout where some criminals were hoarding about 4,000 of the offending light bulbs. We threw the criminals against the wall, and opened about 40 crates, using pick-axes, then we threw the light bulbs to the floor, smashing them.
I sure hope the government doesn't make the new pig-tailed bulbs illegal. Those things are filled with mercury.
I'm glad that The Mafia is staying out of this. We have all we can handle with them dealing in drugs and prostitution. Light bulbs are bad news.
Our reporter also ran into to an 'illegal dealer' wearing an over-sized coat. We named him 'Rodney' to protect his identity:
(Opening his coat, showing a potential buyer his light bulbs) Pssst. Hey, Wanna buy a light bulb? Only $15 a bulb. I got yer light bulbs. 150-watt, 100-watt, 60-watt. You want it....I got it.
Yeah, when Congress created this black market, they also created a whole bunch of unintended consequences. I think a guy can get rich doing this.
Stay tuned, as The RedSquirrel Report stays on top of this important story.