Monday, January 6, 2014

Correspondent Yakov Smirnoff At The DeBlasio Inauguration

Last week, New York City swore in it's first Communist Mayor, Bill DeBlasio. The RedSquirrel Report sent our new correspondent, Yakov Smirnoff, to cover this joyous event. Take it away, Yakov:

Wow, thank you, RedSquirrel. heh, heh, heh....New York! WHAT A CITY!

The City that never sleeps swore in it's first Communist Mayor. I guess new mayor DeBlasio was looking for an impeached, disbarred official to administer his oath, and he got his wish, as impeached former President Bill Clinton swore him in.

Mayor DeBlasio's first priority is to do away with horse-drawn carriages. Finally, a leader who has his priorities straight! Heh, heh, heh....

If I had to boil down DeBlasio's public safety agenda, he wants to make EVERYTHING ILLEGAL, but the police better not try to arrest you. He wants to do away with 'Stop and Frisk,' although I understand he'll taser you if you're caught trying to escape New York's oppressive taxes.

I feel safer already!

He and Comrade Obama are friends, so if you can't find a party---Don't worry. The party (AND THE NSA) will find you. Heh, heh, heh....

It appears that DeBlasio will continue Nanny Bloomberg's ban on large drinks, fast cars, salt, fatty foods, ect. That's O.K., cause with this Communist Mayor in charge, nobody will be able to afford a large drink, fatty foods, or a fast car. Heh, heh, heh...What a CITY!

New Mayor DeBlasio wants to do away with 'income inequality.' That's great news for all you 'Pajama Boys' out there. As for you hard-working entrepreneurs and merchants....tough toenails.

I wonder if attacking 'income inequality' also applies to rich city government apparatchiks and public employee unionistas who make twice as much as the private sector workers who pay their salaries?

As for me, I'm thinking about moving to a place of relative freedom. I wonder if Mother Russia will let be come back.

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