It is that time of year when we look forward to the upcoming year, and we thought there would be no one better to tell the American people what to expect in 2014 than Obama advisor Valerie Jarrett:
On Election Night 2012, The President told his supporters that 'The best is yet to come.' I told you that soon 'there will be hell to pay,' for all our enemies. In 2014, both statements will come true.
We are fundamentally transforming America in much the same way I 'fundamentally transformed' Grove Parc Plaza. Soon, America will look like a bombed-out ghetto.
We have gutted the funding for America's veterans, and soon we will have Amnesty for 20,000,000 illegal immigrants. This means that we Democrats will own the country forever and ever and ever. We are persecuting and purging Christians from the military, and will soon have our 'national civilian security force' to do whatever Barack wants.
Obamacare will be enforced even if it crumbles under it's own weight. Millions upon millions of Americans are having their healthcare plans cancelled by those 'crooked' insurance companies. Millions more are having their hours cut back by their eeeevil employers. Our Obamacare 'navigators' are 'helping' the people sign up for this monstrosity.....uh....I mean....program.
We won't guarantee that your information will be safe. Maybe what everybody needs is an RFID microchip implanted in your wrist or forehead.
Soon, all of you will be wards of the state, dependent on Medicaid.
The administration snooped on The American People with The NSA, and harassed our opponents using The IRS. We sold guns to dangerous Mexican drug dealers and lied about what happened in Benghazi. Those establishment Republican eunuchs won't do anything to stop us!
OUR government schools are teaching your little crumb-crunchers that Barack Obama is 'The Messiah.' and to be compliant little government Obots, willing to surrender all their freedoms for an Obamaphone.
Now, all this is already known, but The Obama Regime has some exciting news for you in 2014.
We will begin work on a $634,000,000 Sphinx, dedicated to King Barry. We're thinking about demolishing The Washington Memorial to make room.
We're planning to discontinue The Gregorian Calender, and replace it with The Obama Calender. The new months will be Obamuary, Obruary, Obarch, Obpril, Obay, Obune, Obuly, Obgust, Obtember, Obtober, Obvember, and Obcember.
In 2013, we closed veteran memorials. In 2014, we replace The World War 2 Memorial with The Statue of The Part-Time Worker. We will replace The Statue of Liberty with The Statue of 'Julia'.
We will replace all the American flags in the White House with Islamic prayer rugs.
There are rumors that we will be opening FEMA prison camps in 2014. I just want to re-assure The American People that this is just a rumor. For now.
But first, we have to figure out how to take away your guns.