Following President Obama's speech at The Nelson Mandela Memorial, people noticed that the sign language interpreter standing next to The President wasn't signing what Obama was 'saying'. To the trained eye, it was just gibberish.
However, we here at The RedSquirrel Report have made a shocking discovery. We have learned that the interpreter was a member of a tribe in South Africa who speak ONLY in this secret sign language. This tribe without a name also are experts in mind-reading, capable of seeing through the spoken word. They know EXACTLY what a speaker is really saying.
Our resident code-breaker has deciphered this secret sign language, and we now know what President Obama actually said:
Thank you........thanks......sit down, please.......A woman in section 24D row 14 just fainted. Give her some space....Thanks.
We are here to honor a great man. ME!
Seriously, though. Nelson Mandela was imprisoned by an evil white government in South Africa for 27 hellish years. I too have spent a considerable amount of time surrounded by criminals in a seething hive of evil-doers. We call this place The United States Senate.
Nelson Mandela was released, and we honor him because he DID NOT KILL the white devils who imprisoned him. He didn't sic The IRS or The NSA against them. He gave up terrorism. Mandela was a saint.
In fact, he and wife Winny gave NECKLACES to his enemies.
In many ways, the democracy Mandela created in South Africa is the envy of the world. But there again, he didn't have to deal with FOX NEWS.
Right wing racist meanies like Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity are still a threat to race relations worldwide, so we still have a long way to go. I have 'hope and change' as well as 'dreams from my father' that keep me going.
Meanwhile, rampaging Black youths in America avenge America's Jim Crow tradition by targeting elderly white victims. The law calls it 'assault'. We call it 'The Knock-out Game.' Tomato tomado.
It's a shame that many white American racists wouldn't vote for me, so my team had to steal the 2012 election. I was forced to disenfranchise our military voters serving overseas, using to IRS to harass our enemies, as we engaged in rampant vote fraud.
Recently, racist country artists Carrie Underwood and Brad Paisley made fun of my greatest achievement, Obamacare, on The CMAs. Contemporary Country Music is the new White Power Movement.
We cannot wallow in hate. I have a dream that one day little, brainwashed children will be mandated by the state to proclaim ME as their messiah in government schools....
Oh wait! That day is already here! Thanks, CommonCore!
Racist White Latino George Zimmerman gunned down unarmed teenager Trayvon Martin. I often wonder what Nelson Mandela would have thought about Zimmerman. I believe that Mandela would have forgiven him, put a tire around him, then set him on fire.
Well, that's my time. I have some 'selfies' to commemorate this occasion. Peace out!