Santa: Obama Is Getting A Reindeer Turd In His Stocking

Last week, our RedSquirrel Report correspondent made his yearly visit to The North Pole, only to find jolly St. Nick in an uncharacteristic foul mood. Santa had this to say:

"Because of sugarplum numb nuts Obama, I've had to cut my elf's hours. That maniacal jerk has caused the first work slow-down in our history!

I know when you're naughty or nice, Beyotch. Between gun-running to dangerous Mexican drug dealers, cancelling millions of health plans, and deserting our boys in Benghazi, I'm thinking about dumping a great big reindeer turd in your presidential stocking.

That also goes for anybody with an 'Obama/Biden' sticker on their car.

I'm also a little torqued-off at Rush Limbaugh. After Election Day 2012, he went on his radio program and compared Obama and ME! What the HELL?!

I may know when you're naughty or nice, but I'm not the creep using The NSA to violate your right to privacy!  I give toys to good boys and girls, while Prez Creepy gives out goodies and Obamacare exemptions to his cronys and supporters.

Also, I don't remember giving f-16's and other weapons to maniacs like Morsi in Egypt.

My dentist, Hermie, is thinking about leaving dentistry because of Obamacare. He may have to come back to the toy shop, even though he does NOT want to make toys"

We're sending our correspondent to The White House on Christmas Eve to find out if Saint Nick does dump a reindeer turd in the president's stocking. Stay tuned.