Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Critic's Corner With Gerald Snotley

film critic Gerald Snotley
A 6th grade field trip is absolutely ruined when an Islamo-Marxist creep closes the White House to tours in the thrilling "Olympus Is Closed"

Of course, It's Those evil Republican's fault. They should have agreed to those tax hikes.

"Olympus Is Closed" is just one of the films I will be reviewing this week. Hi, I am movie and arts critic Gerald Snotley.

As a leftist Obot Ghoul, I give Barack Obama high marks for closing down The White House to those screaming brats, and also for sticking it to those evil right-wing Republicans. I give Our Dear Leader a big "Thumbs up."

Next, a very scary woman named Valerie Jarrett looks into a mirror, and repeats the word "EYE-CANDYMAN" six times, and conjures forth an evil presence. The American people elect him PRESIDENT.

This guy is wonderfully narcissistic. He wrecks the economy, brags about destroying the coal industry, sells guns to dangerous Mexican drug dealers, then appears on "The View", where he wins over the swooning female hosts. He refers to himself as EYE-CANDYMAN. 

He and his jet-setting family fly to exclusive vacation spots, while he makes the American people suffer under sequester cuts. He's emotionally detached, appearing downright bored with the pain he creates.


At the same time, he is a master of deception. He holds the state-run media under his spell, like Renfeld to his Dracula. They are his robots, satisfied with helping him get away WITH MURDER.

If only I had three thumbs.

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