Monday, May 11, 2015

Our Correspondent Eric: Michelle Obama Is A Big, Fat Bitch

Our 8-year-old correspondent Eric returns with this report:

Good Lord, Does Michelle Obama EVER stop bitching? In the last couple weeks, she bad-mouthed America at a museum, stating that museums aren't welcoming to people that look like her.

I don't know if she was referring to the color of her skin, or the fact that she has a perpetual scowl on her face. Mother Robinson should have told young Michelle not to do that with her face or it will stay that way.

At a commencement speech, she moaned about The Black Struggle, which sounded a lot like the struggle almost everybody goes through. The next time somebody bitches about White privilege, I'm going to introduce them to my friend Kenny.

Last week, she bragged that before she leaves The White House, she will confiscate every firearm in America. Normal Americans heard this and responded:

Just try, Bitch.

Moochelle also yapped about her trip to Target, where some unsuspecting shopper asked 0bama to reach for a weed-whacker or something that was on a shelf. Of course, the insane First Lady was deeply insulted.

Michelle 0bama is constantly complaining, sniveling, or trying to take control of some aspect of our lives. Her children go to the best school in DC, and enjoy a gourmet lunch, but us regular kids get disgusting mystery foodstuff. Thanks, Moochelle.

She also bitched about the emotional toll she suffers from being the first Black First Lady. Between the glitzy dinners with Beyonce and Jay-Z, and the taxpayer-funded vacays, I wonder how much punishment that poor lamb can take. Emotional toll, my ass....

Here, let me explain the situation:

Moochelle's a Bitch, A complaining Bitch
All she does is Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!!!
Bitches about Whitey and museums
All she does is Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!

Moochelle's a Bitch, A big, fat Bitch
Bitches at the retail store
All she does is Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!
And we can't take this ANYMORE!

Took our school lunch, and gives us crap
Damn that fat-assed, stupid Bitch!!!
That stupid Bitch should shut her yap!!!
She's a Bitch Bitch Bitch Bitch Bitch Bitch!!!!....

Moochelle's a Bitch, a Commie Bitch
The Bitch goes on an vacay
I can't wait for The Bitch to leave
Soon the Bitch will go away!!!

All she does is Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!
Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!
Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!
Bitch! Bitch! Bitch ! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!!!!

Oh yeah, I really mean it!
Moochelle is a big, fat, race-baiting Bitch!

Oh yeah!

Thank you.

 


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