Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Michelle Obama Speaks To Starving Students
It was Mushed carrots Monday.
With their little stomachs growling, The First Lady stressed the importance of education:
You have to get an education. Me an' my husband send our daughters to the best private school in Washington, and they also get the yummiest school lunches. They get Sloppy Joe's n' French Fries, Shrimp Alfredo, and hamburgers, too.
Did somebody just faint? Just give her some room....She didn't hit her head on the floor. Oh good. She'll be O.K.
I am pleased to announce a new initiative. My husband and I believe that school should be a rewarding experience. Your principal will be handing out a questionnaire to you.
We want to know if your moms and dads own guns, and also if you know any Republicans. If you ever hear anybody saying bad things about my husband, we want you to tell us. We may need to send them to a re-education camp.
Just fill out these questionnaires, and you will earn a box of Michelle Obama Chocolate Chip Cookies. I am sure THAT will stop your stomach from growling.