Obama: I Accept The Zimmerman Verdict, As Terrible As It Is

Three weeks ago, George Zimmerman was acquitted of murder charges in the shooting death of Trayvon Martin. We here at The RedSquirrel Report have seen the subsequent protests that followed. While many of these protests have been peaceful, we also sense the need for Americans to experience some much-needed racial healing. So, we have asked The President of the United States to say a few words.

Take it away, Mr. President. The floor is yours:

Thank you. Three weeks ago, Hispanic white man George Zimmerman was acquitted of murder charges in the death of unarmed teenager Trayvon Martin.

This was not supposed to happen. Non-black victims are not supposed to fight back against their black assailant(s). After Zimmerman used his face to pummel Trayvon's poor fists bloody, he shot him in cold blood.

The jury of 5 white women and 1 Hispanic female has spoken, and I accept their terrible decision. So, let's move on.

I have told Attorney General Eric Holder to open a George Zimmerman tip line. If anyone has ever seen George Zimmerman violate any one's civil rights, please contact The Attorney General. There might be a nice cash reward in it for ya.

I am happy to announce that racial-healer Al Sharpton has organized 100 Marches For Trayvon. 

Still, there are some hard feelings following this trial. The New Black Panther Party has vowed to lynch Zimmerman, and there have been several news accounts of black mobs beating white victims for Trayvon. The Obama White House will not stand for racial strife.

If white-Americans are feeling unsafe, they are encouraged to leave the country.

Finally, I have said that Trayvon Martin could have been me 35 years ago. I can also see myself beating the hell out of that fat Hispanic honky, slamming my fists into his face, banging his head into the hard sidewalk.

Thank you.