Saturday, March 30, 2013

Feed The Staffers

Recently, Florida Representative and DNC Chairmongrel Debbie Wasserman-Schultz complained to the press that, because of the sequester, her staff was having trouble affording a good meal. Their average yearly salary is anywhere between $60,000 and $160,000.

Your bushy-tailed correspondent believes that it is simply scandalous that staffers for this tremendous public servant cannot afford to eat, and so I am personally looking into this.

Perhaps, her staff can't afford to eat because they all expensive drug habits, or maybe these poor little lambs believe that they should have professional taste testers like The President has. It is a terrible injustice that a congressional staffer in Washington be forced to live like a common constituent.

I do have an idea. Just as the pop stars of the 1980's got together and recorded "We Are The World" for the starving in Ethiopia, Debbie can assemble the rich and powerful, and record a re-make of this timeless classic. They can dedicate 50 cents from each digital download to feed these hungry congressional staffers.

Then, they can plan a big concert, and invite Bruce Springsteen, Bon Jovi, Beyonce, and Jay Z, and tell those viewing the concert to call 1-800-FOR-STAFF to make a pledge.

I'm sure that Debbie Wasserman-Schultz and her starving staff would greatly appreciate it.


  1. Let us ensure that her staffers are not subjective to 16 oz sodas, scrambled Easter eggs, or anything that offends their delicate sensitivities.