Last week, I held a green beer summit and had dinner with twelve lucky leprechaun RINOS, where we discussed the budget. I did something that I've never done before--I payed the check.
This past week I went on a lucky charm offensive, but in the end it seemed that most Americans were not charmed. They just found it offensive.
Many Americans have had enough of the Blarney that passes thru my lips. They are not believing my sequester horror stories, and it appears that my newest move to beat the American people with my sequester Shillelagh has been met with resentment.
In 2008, I promised to drive all the special interest snakes out of Washington. I merely REPLACED them with SEIU union bosses, Marxists, and Solyndra executives.
Still, I would like to take this time to announce something very exciting. As you know, I believe that I deserve my own holiday. I'm not satisfied with sharing a holiday with 43 other presidents, so I am re-naming the holiday currently known as St. Patrick's Day.
From this day FORWARD it will be called 'St. O'Bama's Day'. Hey, if I can get away with desecrating the American flag, I can easily get away with desecrating a great American holiday. By golly!
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