June 22, 2011
The Glenn Beck News Show will make it's debut on GBTV on September 12. As the New York Times so aptly reported, Fox News has seen the ratings of The Glenn Beck News Show decline, and all of our sponsors drop the show. It got so bad that the combined ratings of our competitors (CNN and MSNBC) almost equalled ours. Last month, Fox News security guards threw me and my associates (Mr Gray and Mr.Burguiere) to the curb. For several weeks, we have slept in the gutter. Yesterday, the three of us slept on a park bench. Mr. Gray suffered from a terrible case of pneumonia, coughing and wheezing, I shook both of my associates awake, and told them that in America, you can pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again. And so, the three of us are starting GBTV.
For only $4.95 a month, you can keep my kids from starving. Thank you.
Glenn Beck
(Note: This isn't a real press release. I'm only goofing. :)
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