Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Red Forman: What's Wrong With These Kids Today?

Lately, there has been a lot of news about young people committing heinous acts of mass-murder. On the same day James Holmes was convicted on all 165 counts from the 2012 attack on the movie theater in Aurora, Colorado, Muslim convert Muhammad Abdulazeez murdered 5 military personnel at a recruiting center in Chattanooga, Tennessee. A few weeks ago, Dylann Roof killed 9 Black Christians as they were worshipping God in a church.

What is wrong with these kids today? RSR asks our parenting expert, Red Forman:

Thanks, 'Squirrel.

Parenting can be really scary, because kids can be royal dumb-asses. I used to be really concerned for my kid Eric, but compared to some of these dipshits in the news, I'm downright proud of my son.

Racist psycho Dylann Roof murdered 9 people in a church in Charleston, South Carolina. That little douche needs to be strapped to old sparky, and while we're at it, his barber should also be arrested. A lot of dumb-asses are blaming Confederate flags, but that is just plain silly and stupid.

James Holmes opened fire in a movie theatre in Aurora, Colorado. Let me tell you something folks, if your kid looks like this:

You have a problem on your hands. Your kid is a dumb-ass. Do us a favor, and have the insipid douche bag committed.

Then, there's these homegrown jihadis and screwed-up kid weirdos. I think that parents need to check in from time-to-time on their kids. If your 24-year-old kid has grown a large, bushy beard like Mohammad Abdulazzez, ask him about it. Go through his desk. If he has written a manifesto, call the authorities before he becomes the next Unibomber.

If your kid is walking around dressed like Osama bin Laden, check the calender. If it isn't Halloween, you probably should be concerned. Teach your kid the value of human life. Then, take him out hunting or fishing. Try to have some quality time with your dumb-ass.

Also, your kid might need a good ass-kicking from time to time. At the very least, THREATEN to kick his ass. I think this does wonders.

That's all for now. As you were.

Red Forman, Dad.

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