Wednesday, February 23, 2011

From Page 6,297

 In 1997, Soros escaped from the fiery pit, and resumed his dream of building his own army of demons. He went on a date with a New York secretary named Lois Peruzzi, and got her pregnant on their first date. He recalled the visit to the doctor, where he got the joyous news. However, the 24-year old woman fainted when the doctor yelled, "Congratulations. OCTOMOM!" She woke up, realizing that during her 2-week dizzy spell, where she was also drugged by one of Soros' generals, that they were married. Soros would later reminisce in a creepy, Hungarian accent, on the wedding:
"My bride had that beautiful glow. You know, the glow you get from a Jack-O-Lantern? There we were, cutting the cake-with a little groom with devil horns and a little bride that cried blood (stigmata) on top of the wedding cake. Also, what with my dietary requirements, I couldn't have a cake covered with frosting or marzipan, so I ordered the cake be covered with spider crap.The wedding was beautiful (oh no, I just vomited in my mouth there. It happens when I say 'beautiful'). I also got all of her bridesmaids pregnant. No-waitaminnut. I got only three bridesmaids pregnant. I got the other two pregnant on our honeymoon...."
When Lois Peruzzi's water broke, her birth canal caught fire, and eight spawn exploded out of her. Each one had horns and pitchforks.

No comments:

Post a Comment