Sen. Ted Cruz Announces Candidacy. Leftists Freak Out

When Texas Senator Ted Cruz announced his presidential candidacy, our pollster Herald was in a room with Democrat operatives. We wanted to see how they would react to his speech.

When Cruz mentioned God, about 40% of their heads spun like Linda Blair's head, only much faster. Their spinning heads made a whirring sound.

About 20% reacted as if a bucket of holy water had been thrown in their face. Of that 20%, about half of them began to melt and scream like the wicked witch of the West from The Wizard Of Oz, after Dorothy accidently dumped water on her.

Herald had to duck the projectile vomiting, as the remaining 40% showed their displeasure.

When Cruz mentioned The Constitution or laws, about 80% of the Democrat operatives laughed derisively, sounding almost like that scene in Gremlins, where the little monsters are all the in movie theater laughing at Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs.

When the candidate mentioned Cuba and His Family, 50% of the Democrats folded their arms and rolled their eyes in unison.

After Cruz's announcement, Herald called an exorcist.