Wednesday, April 8, 2015

At The Easter Prayer Breakfast, Obama Serves Up Anti-Christian Criticism

On Sunday, the president attended The Easter Prayer Breakfast, and made these remarks:

Hey, when my event planner told me about this Easter Prayer Breakfast, I was under the impression that all the attendees would be praying TO ME. I didn't know that I would be called upon to talk about my faith.

On Easter, I do reflect on the fact that as a Christian, I am supposed to love. And I have to say that sometimes when I listen to 'less-than-loving' expressions by Christians, I have to just say to myself that I forgive them. After all, I am The Messiah.

These Christians should be more like my teacher, The Reverend Jeremiah Wright.

As for me. I 'love' my enemies. I want that White Hispanic heretic George Zimmerman crucified. I also want Officer Darren Wilson crucified, as well as that guy from Mozilla....and also, the owners of that pizza parlor in Indiana. Oh Hell, crucify ALL my critics, especially the Tea Party.

I would like everyone to bow your heads in prayer, and ask the mainstream media gods to resurrect my sagging job-approval poll numbers. So it is written, so shall it be done.

Personally, I showed my Christian love for all you dumb. little rubes by cancelling all your health plans, and using Obamacare as a method for voter fraud and a great, big giveaway to illegal immigrants. Blessed are the poor illegals, for they shall inherit my fundamentally-transformed America.

They say that we are to 'love our enemies.' That's why I gave arms to The Muslim Brotherhood, then tried to steal the election in Israel. Go forth, and get cozy with your enemies, and alienate your allies.

Someday I may address the horrors of ISIL, as they behead, kill, and sell slaves all over Africa and The Middle East....but the greater evil is pizza parlors who won't cater same-sex weddings.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gotta go find my selfie stick, an' take some pictures of  The One I love most......ME!

Allahu Akbar!

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