Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Our Special Correspondent Reports From Indiana

As Indiana Governor Mike Pence signed the new Religious Freedom Restoration Act into law, the Hoosier State's Gaystapo immediately began threatening Christian businesses.

Lesbian gym teacher Jess Dooley made a terroristic threat against The Memories Pizza parlor, and they had to close shop after receiving several death threats.

We here at The RedSquirrel Report thought that we would ask a normal, everyday Hoosier what he thinks of all this, so we asked college student Axl Heck, who files this report:

OMYGOD, these protesters are so GAY!  This boycott stuff is for nut-job douches. So, like....these Christians who own this pizza parlor doesn't want to cater to same-sex weddings, although they'll serve a pizza to anybody.

It looks like these gays are just targeting Christians. Besides, who in their right mind wants pizza at a wedding reception?

I'm no lawyer, but I heard all this law says is that EVERYBODY has standing in a court of law. If you don't want to serve somebody based on your deeply held beliefs, you can't be forced to serve them.

If you're a Jewish baker, a Nazi can't force you to bake a cake with a swastika on it. If you're gay, The Westboner Baptists can't force you to bake a cake that reads 'God hates gays.'

You have a right to not be forced to violate your personal beliefs, even if somebody else thinks it's dumb.  

OTHER STATES are getting into this boycott douchebaggery! Governor Moonbeam from California will not do business with Indiana! Remember when 0bama told us he would bring us all together? It looks like these maniacs have EVERYBODY at each other's throats.

Then, there's that unhinged Lesbo gym teacher who went and threatened to BURN DOWN that pizza parlor. What is this? 1930's Germany?

God, what's next? If this boycott on Indiana doesn't work, will these power-hungry jerk-offs resort to blockades? These liberals are such CONTROL FREAKS!

Dial it back, everybody!

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