Tuesday, September 24, 2013
And Now, A Letter From Ralph
Today, we get this letter from Ralph, a low-information voter who supports ObamaCare:
Dear Mr. Squirrel,
I am an 8-year-old voter, and I support ObamaCare. I understand that 70% of the American public oppose this law, but why should we listen to these people? They are fringe, extremist kooks. They are heck-bent on taking away health care from children like me.
What do I do if I need my stomach pumped after I eat a box of crayons? Answer that one, Republican meanies.
What about those with pre-existing conditions? It would be terribly unfair to deny home insurance to somebody who has already burned down their house, like I almost did last month.
I think it's wonderful that President Obama has kept 26-year-old children on their parent's health care. That's why I voted for The Messiah.
I also voted for The Messiah because he rides a unicorn.
It's also good that ObamaCare has eliminated millions of full-time jobs. Americans work too hard anyways. The Messiah has created 16,000 new jobs at The IRS to make sure that The American people obey his law, so everything evens out.
Meanwhile, those Republican meanies are trying to defund ObamaCare, and they don't care if the entire government is shut down. Nancy Pelosi says that The Republicans are trying to steal food out of the mouths of babies, those mean Republican meanies.
Nancy Pelosi reminds me of my Grandma.
Well, that's all for now. I have to go to the doctor because I just super-glued my lips together. Thanks, Mr. Squirrel.