Friday, June 7, 2013

Happy LBGT Pride Month

I missed the memo, but June is LBGT Pride Month. February was Black History Month. I'm wondering if someone will proclaim July Illegal Alien Month, and will we be expected to pronounce July 'Hool-eye?'

How are we supposed to celebrate LBGT Pride Month, anyways? I don't want to do anything that offends them, like attend one of their highly festive parades with a sign that reads, "God Hates Sodomites."

Oooh, awkward.

Is this about righting past wrongs? Maybe we're supposed to remember the bad old days when evil straight people would stack them like firewood and set them on fire. Here is my rule of thumb. I think stacking people like firewood and setting them on fire IS NEVER GOOD.

Maybe all good, open-minded Americans should attend a same-sex marriage ceremony. I have a question about that. If the officiating minister tells Harold to kiss Gerald, is it bad same-sex wedding etiquette to loudly yell, 'Ewwwwww.' as the happy couple sticks their man-tongues into each other's maw?

Seriously, when did we start celebrating a person's sexuality anyways? I leave you alone, so just leave me alone. Why should society give L's, B's, G's or T's their own month, and when will Straight, Red Squirrels get our own month?

Dibs on July.

1 comment:

  1. I don't know what to do about it either, Squirrel. I'm still wondering what kind of gift to give to the L's at their weddings--batteries?? All I do know is that June 7th, today, is National Donut Day--really