Dear President Obama: America Apologizes For The Rodeo Clown

Imagine the culture shock our Commander-in-Chief must have experienced when he watched rodeo clown Tuffy Gessling playfully wearing his Obama mask as part of his show with a 1,200 pound bull.

There are no rodeos in inner-city Chicago or Indonesia. There's plenty of inner-city violence and dog-eating, but no rodeos.

The rodeo clown was only entertaining the crowd at The Missouri State Fair, but The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People saw it as an incitement to violence against The President, calling on The Department of Justice AND The Secret Service to investigate this matter.

Maybe the DOJ should also charge the rodeo clown with violating the president's civil rights. In ObamaLand, up is down and down is up.

Nobody told Gessling that you are not supposed to make fun of Dear Leader. You are supposed to sit still, faint, and worship him and his stream of unicorn fart, big-government platitudes.

The Messiah is above the rest of us. All together now....Barack Hussein Obama....mmmm....mmmm.....mmmm.....

It's perfectly proper for Barry and his gang of ruthless corruptocrats to herd us around, spy on us, ignore the rule of law, and rob us of our liberties, but we are never, ever allowed to make fun of Dear Leader.

It used to be a rodeo tradition for clowns to wear presidential masks. In fact, until quite recently, Americans were free to make fun of their politicians in a host of ways. You can't blame Obama for not knowing this, because he might not be from around here.

Following the discovery of this photo of the clown and his Obama mask, our rodeo clown was banned from The Missouri State Fair. I guess in this economy, no job is safe. All the clowns in the state of Missouri have been ordered to attend Sensitivity Training Classes to make sure that no one makes fun of Obama (or any future black presidents) again.

Obama is at odds with our rugged, unique, American culture. He has probably spent so much time going from classroom to another classroom to another classroom, learning all he has ever known from Communist teachers and professors, that he might not have ever been on a field trip to a milk pasteurizing plant or have ever seen a privately-owned farm.

It was really insensitive for Mr. Gessling to make fun of our almost God-like leader. In fact, it borders in heresy. In Obama's America, only Catholics, Christians, Jews, and Mormons are supposed to be made fun of.

We apologize, Mr. President. We are truly sorry.

The Minnesota State Fair Begins On Thursday

Good news! Michelle Obama hasn't ordered the concessionaires to replace all the fried foods-on-a-stick with healthy rabbit food. It is still o.k. to enjoy your visit.

What Will The Minnesota State Legislature Unionize Next?

If you're a small-business owner, the Democrat-led Minnesota State Legislature is turning the state of 10,000 taxes into an environment hostile to your workplace. The unionistas have the best legislature their money can buy, and now they want to force daycare providers, many of whom work for themselves, to become state employees. On May 24, our esteemed Governor Mark Dayton signed S.F. 778, which begins the process of unionization.

The providers will vote, and if the majority vote yes to a union, their profession will be represented by AFSCME. Union membership is at an all-time low, and yet that will not stop these bullies from looking for ways to force people to become unwilling campaign contributors to the Democrats. They use the term 'union dues', but a more descriptive term would be 'job ransom'. Just look at what they have done to the teaching profession.

Your bushy-tailed correspondent wonders who will the Democrats and their allies try to unionize next.

If your child owns a lemonade stand, will bullies with purple t-shirts threaten you and your family if that child doesn't pay 'lemonade stand union dues'?

You tell your 13-year-old to mow the lawn. He responds by calling the local union representative.

Yeah, these are ridiculous examples, but have you ever noticed that when we talk about liberals and their lust for power and other people's money, how often the ridiculous becomes the reality?

It's A Hellish 80 Degrees In Minneapolis

Your bushy-tailed correspondent isn't a big fan of Summer, but the weather here in Minneapolis has been mighty delightful. For much of July and August, the temperatures have been below normal, yet the global climate change fanatics keep spouting their weird, always-changing gospel.

 

 

Like I'm supposed to stop lovin' this weather and surrender my freedom and life style to these weirdos.

We're supposed to stop enjoying life, and cry out, 'SAVE US, AL GORE!! IT'S A HELLISH 80 DEGREES!! TONIGHT'S FORECAST IS A PERFECT 60 DEGREES WITH A SLIGHT, DELIGHTFUL BREEZE FROM THE NORTH!!!

THIS IS SHEER TORTURE!! MAYBE AFTER OBAMA LOWERS THE SEA LEVELS, HE CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT THESE PERFECT TEMPS!'

IN YOUR FACE, MINNESOTA SOCIAL CONSERVATIVES!

Last week, same-sex marriage became legal in the state of Minnesota. On August 1, Mayor RT Rybak officiated 40(!) same-sex ceremonies.

We get it, RT. You really, really, really, really, really like gays.

KARE11NEWS featured happy same-sex couples trading vows. Male couples stood before friends and family, and pressed their yucky man-lips together.

It seemed like the folks at KARE11NEWS were in on the celebration while they were doing the report. Maybe the reporter caught the bouquet.

I don't know if I was being informed, or if they were somehow trying to CONDITION me:

Listen up, you old-fashioned, bible-thumping bigot. You better get your mind right, because SAME-SEX MARRIAGE IS THE LAW! REPEAT AFTER ME! SAME-SEX MARRIAGE IS THE LAW!!!

I remember when 70% of the voters in my state did NOT support same-sex marriage (This was just last year). I didn't know that my belief in traditional marriage made me a knuckle-dragging bigot.

I listened to Mitch Berg on 1280 The Patriot on Saturday, and he spoke about that photo of the huge rainbow flag eclipsing St. Paul's Cathedral. To me, that photo suggests that some activists on the other side of this issue may be taunting us:

WE WIN! IN YOUR FACE, MINNESOTA SOCIAL CONSERVATIVES!

I'm So Glad The Minnesota Legislature Raised The Cigarette Tax

The majority in the Minnesota State Legislature and their leader, Governor Mark Dayton, told us that they wanted to raise taxes on the richest Minnesotans.

They raised taxes on cigarettes.

I'm so glad they did this, because everybody knows that only rich people smoke. (cue rimshot)

Some Exciting News For You Limbaugh Haters

Your bushy-tailed media analyst has some exciting news for all you Limbaugh haters out there. On Monday, Cumulus Media announced that they have fired conservative radio bomb-throwers Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity.

On Tuesday, Limbaugh was spotted with a black magic marker, making a Will Broadcast For Food sign. As he left the building where he broadcasted his radio show, he was seen crying. With his pants around his ankles, he carried some keepsakes from the show as he slowly walked out the door.

I don't need anything, just my golden EIB microphone.....and this stapler........and this paperweight...................and this chair......

It looks like the geniuses at #StopRush has triumphed over their hated foe. President Barack Obama has personally foreclosed on Limbaugh's Miami home.



As for Hannity, Cumulus security forcibly escorted the wild-eyed right-winger out of the studio where he did his radio show. Office workers watched as he was seen kicking and screaming, before he was unceremoniously tossed onto the sidewalk. He was last seen shaking his fist and walking away.

He will have to live paycheck-to-paycheck, with only his program on FOX NEWS to pay the bills.

Hannity was last seen on Monday at a local grocery store, buying Top Ramen Noodles and several boxes of generic macaroni and cheese.



(Note: Today begins the 26th year of Rush Limbaugh's Excellence In Broadcasting. On August 1, 1988, Limbaugh began 25 years of national radio domination.

The left keeps predicting his demise, and he keeps proving them wrong.

We hope that he's around until 'everybody agrees with him.')