Dzhokhar On The Cover Of The Rolling Stone

I'm not a rock singer, I got blood on my fingers
I wage jihad everywhere I go
We like to create terror and make blood rain down
Until the twelfth Imam decides he'll show

I say to Hell with you infidels
How I love to hear your cries and moans
In that boat I was caught and then I got shot
Now I'm on the cover of The Rolling Stone

Rolling Stone-I look so good on the cover
Stone-It's too bad I ran over my brother
Stone-The girls like to see my face
On the cover of The Rolling Stone


My brother Tamerlan & I would do anything
that our Quran says
We got a Middle-Eastern Imam
showing us a better way
The thing in this bag will blow off your legs
and shatter all your bones
Some people think it's sick, Now I got my picture
On the cover of The Rolling Stone

Rest In Peace, Helen Thomas

Rest In Peace Pioneer Journalist Helen Thomas. We respect you for taking a stand.




Your friends at The Ezzedine Al-Qassam Brigades (Hamas)

The Celebrity Idiot Of The Week

Recently, unhinged former Speaker Nancy Pelosi said that Americans should celebrate Obamacare on July 4.

Bette Midler (pictured) fantasized about The British winning The Revolutionary War so that The American People could have THEIR health care system.

For normal Americans with their heads screwed on straight, it appears as if liberal celebrities are purposely trying to out-stupid each other. It's like a contest.

This gives me an idea. Someone should create a television program, where we can vote for the biggest idiot in America.

We open several 1.800 telephone lines, and the American people can vote for their favorite doofus. It's a little like American Idol. For example:


Who is The Idiot of the Week?

1.800.111.1111 Nancy Pelosi

1.800.222.2222 Bette Midler

1.800.333.3333 Toure' Niblett

1.800.444.4444 Chris Rock

1.800.555.5555 Miley Cyrus

1.800.666.6666 Toni Braxton

1.800.777.7777 Matthew Modine

Dear TV producers Simon Fuller and Mark Burnett:

If either one of you guys want to get the ball rolling, have your people call me. We'll do lunch.

Moochelle: The White House Is Like A Prison

Recently, First Lady Michelle Obama said that living in The White House is like living in a really nice prison. Scores of angry commoners on Twitter wished that she would be released from her incarceration.

She has my sympathy. They only let her out every three weeks or so, as she jets off on another one of her $100,000,000 vacays with her family. She must be so envious of all the little people barely making it paycheck-to-paycheck. I wonder if she refers to her Secret Service detail as prison guards.

Perhaps Moochelle compares The Main Ballroom to a prison mess hall. State dinners must be a nightmare. Inviting the likes of Jay-Z, his glamorous wife Beyonce and the glitterati from Hollywood, you can never tell who might suddenly jump out of their chair, and "cut you up." 

I'll bet that some of her friends know to turn a spoon into a knife.

It's a good thing that she has her victory garden to keep her busy. In 1978, I remember seeing Midnight Express. Those TURKISH prisons will drive you out of your mind if you don't have any activities to keep your mind occupied.

I'll bet her Let's Move campaign is popular in the yard.

Does Barack know that his wife feels like a prisoner trapped in The White House? I don't remember hearing her complain as he was busy stealing the 2012 Election. He and his team of smear artists and election fraudsters wound up adding 4 MORE YEARS to Michelle Obama's sentence.

There is no justice.

John Kerry, Where Are You?

This week, scores of people in Egypt showed their displeasure with dictator Mohammad Morsi and The Muslim Brotherhood, and so they protested. The military threw their support behind the people, and ousted Morsi.

Meanwhile, our very own dictator Barack Obama was caught flat-footed, while his Secretary of State John Kerry was off enjoying a day on his yacht. Well, it's actually his wife's yacht.

Our very own cartoonist created a hashtag on Twitter, #JohnKerryYachtNames, which trended.

All of this reminds me of that TV theme song from the 1950's, Car 54, Where Are You?:

The Middle East is exploding, Egypt is going up in flames
Morsi's losing power and Obama doesn't know who to blame
The situation's hot and Lurch is on his yacht

John Kerry, Where Are You?

Paula Deen....Public Enemy Number 1

Have you seen this woman? If you have, please contact The PC Police. A long time ago, she said "the n-word."

Repeat: This woman, Paula Deen, has admitted to saying  "the n-word".

Meanwhile, our very own IRS agent Lois Lerner lied before Congress. She gets a paid vacation for lying, while Ms. Deen is having everything taken away after admitting the truth.

Let that be a lesson to you. In Obamanation, It pays to lie.

MSNBC hosts and their guests regularly race-bait, but that is fine because the vitriol is targeted against people with pale skin. So there.

Paula Deen is roughly 5' 7''. She has blue eyes, and silvery-white hair. She has a Southern accent, typical of most racists, and she may be carrying a purse full of butter-sticks.

If you see this racist, contact The PC Police.

We're Not In America Anymore, Toto

This week, President Creepy is taking his family on a $100,000,000 African vacay. I guess implementing his anti-freedom agenda must be exhausting.

I wonder if he will be attending a family reunion while he's there.

Here to tell us about it is 80's supergroup Toto. Hit it, boys:

The Obamas will be taking flight,
while The American people suffer under a bad economy
Those tea-baggers on The Right,
keep on bringing up those unfortunate deaths in Benghazi
All those little Cheering kids on the runway
Little Birthers welcome Barack Hussein back home
I wonder what do they know that CBS and ABC doesn't know?

We're gonna take a hundred million dollar vacay
America hates us and we gotta get away
We're on vacation down in Africa
If these people get air conditioning the world will boil

The blue dogs cry out in the night,
and ask themselves, 'Oh, why did we ever vote for Obamacare?'
Those racist meanies on The Right,
keep on pointing out that The IRS and The NSA have been unfair
The low-information schlubs who voted for him are starting----to figure Obama out