Miss Utah Steals The Show

Miss Connecticut Erin Brady won the Miss USA Contest last Sunday, but it was Miss Utah Marissa Powell who 'stole the show', with her great flub during the question portion of the contest.

Nene Leakes of the reality series The Real Housewives of Atlanta asked this question:

"A recent report shows in 40% of American families with children, women are the primary earners, yet they continue to earn less than men. What does that say about society?"

Miss Utah Marissa Powell responded with this:

"I think we can relate this back to education, and how we are continuing to try to strive....to....(long pause)


figure out how to create jobs right now. That is the biggest problem. And I think, especially the men are....seen as the leaders of this, and so we need to see how to.

create education better. So that we can solve this problem. Thank you."

For a moment there, she made about as much sense as President Obama does when he's without his teleprompter. Of course, he would've blamed former President George W. Bush.

This Just In: Obama And His Minions Are Liars

This just in:

President Obama lies like a priceless Persian rug lying on a rich man's floor.

Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton lies like the man with slick-back hair who sold me that Ford.

Attorney General Eric Holder lies like a penny in a parking lot at the grocery store.

Susan Rice lies like a pine tree in the back yard after last week's storm.

and, Director of National Security James Clapper lies like a coon dog basking in the sunshine on my porch.

It comes so natural to them.

A Word From HHS Secretary Kathleen 'Cruella' Sebelius

Today, we welcome Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius:

Dear delicious little Americans,

We your overlords were displeased to learn that little Sarah what'sherface is getting a lung. Somehow, that little girl escaped the clutches of my death panel. I'm so angry that I can barbecue a Dalmatian.

Other than that, Dear Leader is pleased to see his Obamacare being implemented, and we are in the process of hiring thousands of sadistic IRSS agents to enforce compliance.

Our delicious scheme was to force responsible Americans to pay for the health care of illegal immigrants, the irresponsible, and all government employees. We were toying with the idea of exempting the corrupt, psychotic weirdos in Congress who fashioned and voted for this deliciously awful piece of legislation. The American People would be happy to subsidize their Obamacare premiums.

The Affordable Care Act was designed to be completely unaffordable, even for your congressional representatives who voted for it. Ultimately, we WILL have our single payer system. That's why we passed this Obamacare law that resembles something that The Antichrist would design.

Well, that's all for now. As you were, you delicious little puppies.

Kathleen 'Cruella' Sebelius, Health and Human Services Secretary

The Data Police Are Coming To Arrest Me

Good morning, comrades.

As Glenn Beck states, 'Today looks different than just a week ago'. We are learning all about The Regime's PRISM Program. Obama and his authoritarian snoops are gathering up as much information on you they can.

They are gathering info on everything you buy, everything you text, and everything you say on facebook, Twitter, as well as your e-mails. Somebody is also listening in to your phone calls.

Remember when Dear Leader said that under him, America will be 'fundamentally transformed'? Welcome to President Creepy's Obamanation.

Obama's hero Saul Alinsky told his followers to 'Pick the target. freeze it, personalize it, and polarize it'. The target is the freedom-loving American. Obama wants to make his critics shut up, and make us afraid to say what's on our minds.

If you criticize radical Islam, the Feds might pay you a visit. He has sicced The IRS on conservatives and harassed the free press. The Executive Branch of this government is out of control and drunk with power.

This makes the rabid redsquirrel mad, and when I get mad, I.........think that I'm in the mood for another song parody. Helping me is the legendary rockers Cheap Trick. Hit it, boys:

The Data Police are coming after you
The Data Police are watching everything that you do
The Data Police are monitoring my blog....Oh no

They watch me on facebook, I think they're spying on me
and when I tweet my tweets, I think they're following me

tonight. tonight.

They're up in my face...On cyberspace
Data mining. Obama's insane.
The NSA want to pick my brain

Spoken:
The IRS and the Justice Department is never gonna leave me alone
Even when Obama's on vacation, they will never. ever leave me alone
What the heck are they doing on my phone?
And what are they doing with that database?

AG Holder's 'Off The Record' Meeting: We Were There

Attorney General Eric Holder is a reporter-hassling dynamo. He seized FOX NEWS reporter James Rosen's phone records and e-mails, then subpoenaed The Associated Press's phone records.

10 days ago, he invited the news media up to his office at The Justice Department Building for an off-the-record powwow. He wanted to make-up with the mainstream news media that he had been harassing.

You might be wondering why the Attorney General would invite the 'news media' over for a meeting that they could never tell their viewers and readers about. He did it because he's drunk with power, and he's starting to lose his lapdogs.

Your bushy-tailed correspondent was there. We agreed to keep this meeting off-the-record, but he didn't see that I had crossed my fingers. This is what he told us:

I completely support your First Amendment right to suck-up to me and my boss....

I promise that I will stop violating your First Amendment rights, as long as you don't try to write anything negative about Dear Leader.

President Creepy has ordered Holder to investigate himself.

Happy LBGT Pride Month

I missed the memo, but June is LBGT Pride Month. February was Black History Month. I'm wondering if someone will proclaim July Illegal Alien Month, and will we be expected to pronounce July 'Hool-eye?'

How are we supposed to celebrate LBGT Pride Month, anyways? I don't want to do anything that offends them, like attend one of their highly festive parades with a sign that reads, "God Hates Sodomites."

Oooh, awkward.

Is this about righting past wrongs? Maybe we're supposed to remember the bad old days when evil straight people would stack them like firewood and set them on fire. Here is my rule of thumb. I think stacking people like firewood and setting them on fire IS NEVER GOOD.

Maybe all good, open-minded Americans should attend a same-sex marriage ceremony. I have a question about that. If the officiating minister tells Harold to kiss Gerald, is it bad same-sex wedding etiquette to loudly yell, 'Ewwwwww.' as the happy couple sticks their man-tongues into each other's maw?

Seriously, when did we start celebrating a person's sexuality anyways? I leave you alone, so just leave me alone. Why should society give L's, B's, G's or T's their own month, and when will Straight, Red Squirrels get our own month?

Dibs on July.

Remember, June 14 is Flag Day

Remember, June 14 is Flag Day....

or as Michelle Obama calls it, 'All THIS for a damn Flag' Day.