Monday, September 3, 2012

Todd Akin, Candidate From The Future

It was two weeks ago when that genius Todd Akin appeared on Missouri television KTVI's "The Jaco Report," and in answering a question pertaining to abortion after rape, told the host:

People always want to try to make that as one of those things, well, how do you slice this particularly tough sort of ethical question. It seems to me, first of all, from what I understand from doctors, that's really rare. If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down. But let's assume that maybe that didn't work or something. You know, I think there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be on the rapist and not attacking the child.

The RedSquirrel Report has learned that Todd Akin is from the distant future. He appears to be like the man from that episode of "The Outer Limits" ("The Sixth Finger"), who steps into the teleportation booth, and comes out many thousands of years more evolved than we. His large forehead contains much information, yet he hasn't really grasped female reproduction as we know it.

In HIS world, a woman CAN shut it down, there's no such thing as rape, and all pregnancies are planned.

Since Akin made his strange statement, the DEMS have jumped all over his gaffe, making the claim that this is what Republicans really think. Meanwhile, nearly all Republicans are distancing themselves from the candidate, wishing that Akin would have just stayed 20,000 years in the future.

We've also learned that Akin's Democrat opponent, unpopular incumbent Claire McCaskill, gave Akin $1.5 million for his primary run. Somehow, the McCaskill Campaign must have found out that Akin was woefully ignorant on basic female reproduction-in the year 2012.

Also, it seems that a lot of Missouri Democrats wanted Todd Akin to win the Republican Primary, so they took advantage of The Show-Me State's open primary. and voted for the conservative from the distant future. Here's another photo of Akin, from the year 102,567.


Todd Akin was born in the year 21,952, and he has a lot to learn.







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