Thursday, August 2, 2012

This Just In: Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day ISN'T About Hate

Yesterday was Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day. The RedSquirrel Report sent their correspondents all across this country to witness the anti-gay hatred. Here is our report:


Hello, RedSquirrel. I am here in line at a Chick-fil-A in Rockville, Illinois, and I can feel the anti-gay hatred bubbling up at this location. Several of the men left the line to beat another man they THOUGHT was gay. Oh, this just in: Nobody was beaten, and there is no real hatred here. Many in this line just wanted to support free speech, and wanted to purchase a good chicken sandwich. Back to you, Red....

Thanks. Now we go to a food court in Ohio.


Hey, RedSquirrel, I am in line. It looks like a riot is about to explode out of control. These right-wingers are a scary bunch. I'm keeping my eye on an elderly straight couple in front of me. If anything happens, I'm getting out of here. Back to you.

Thank you for your report, and stay safe....


Now, we head to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Pittsburgh, what are you seeing in line?

I'm in HELL, RedSquirrel! There's a man in this line with a t-shirt that reads, "God Hates Sodomites". I am seeing bigotry on display here.

Psych!...Actually, I'm in line with a very friendly bunch. Some quietly wait for the line to move. Some engage in small-talk, expressing their support for Chick-fil-A President Dan Cathy's right of free speech. Many in line are making  jovial verbal jabs at Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel. 

I guess that Rahm Emanuel was absolutely right when he said that 'Chick-fil-A values isn't Chicago values'. No one's been shot to death, there are no reported drug dealers in any of the lines, and no one has seen any shake-downs or bribery....yet.

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