An RSR Exclusive: A Conversation With The Treadmill That Attacked Harry Reid

On New Year's Day, former Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid was 'attacked' by an 'exercise treadmill', and to many, this incident looked a little suspicious. Reid suffered a deep gash in his eye, and his face suffered several bruises.

There is a story going around that he was meeting with 'certain associates' which may or may not have been tied to the mob. As the story goes, he was at this Las Vegas meeting to apologize to them for failing to bring home come legislative pork.

His constituents didn't take it well.

Our correspondent asked around, and got to meet the 'exercise treadmill' in question. He spoke to him/it, who referred to himself/intself as 'Vinny,'

According to 'Vinny', Senator Reid promised a 'certain project' as a pay-off for political contributions. When Reid failed to 'deliver', it was then he suffered his 'exercise-related injuries.'

At the end of this short conversation with 'Vinny', he/it wished the retiring Senator a 'happy retirement.'

Can Hillary Survive Her Email Scandal?

Lately, the big question for political pundits is 'Can Hillary survive this email scandal, and still win the Presidency in 2016?'

The answer is 'Of course she can!'

She is married to the second-most corrupt political figure in this country's history, and he is still adored by the msm. Surprisingly, some reporters appear to be interested in this email story, but they're looking for a Republican scandal to make us forget about this one. If she runs again for President, and wins the Democrat Primary, she is guaranteed at least 45% of the vote in the general election, and that's not even counting all the dead voters.

Democrat voters love corrupt liars and unhinged leftists. Many live in Democrat-ran slums, and blame those evil, rich capitalists and the Tea Party for all their woes. She will have the inner cities, and as long as they believe their master 0bama still seems to support her, the urban vote fraud machine will do anything to make sure she wins.

In fact, Democrats DEMAND corruption. Their ultra-corrupt unionista supporters break heads if anybody stands in their way. Your rank-and-file Democrat friends do not care about the endless, overwhelming multitude of Obama scandals. They believe that with Obamacare, Dr. Obama in his white coat and stethoscope comes to your house, and gives you free health care.

They still believe this EVEN IF they got a health plan cancellation letter. Half of the country are just plain idiots.

Democrats are non-thinking automatons. They will vote for whoever the party bosses tell them to vote for, and if there's not enough votes to win, they'll find just enough ballot boxes somewhere to put them over the top. If there's an election ANYWHERE, they'll try to steal it. In fact, The Gang From Chicago just tried to steal the election in ISRAEL.

So what if Hillary broke the law? Elitists like Hillary and 0bama act as if none of the laws even apply to them anyways. He's running a crime syndicate out of the White House, and if his handlers decide that she will be the president in 2016, what's to stop her?

The Republicans? Don't make me laugh. They're busy attacking Ted Cruz.

Caption This Photo

Valerie Jarrett: '....and then we traded 5 America-hating, bloodthirsty Muslim terrorists for that America-hating deserter Bowe Bergdahl!'

Barack Obama: 'HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa!!!! Good one, Boss.'

The Senate Rejects Obama's Budget Proposal 1-98

"Look Chief, The Senate rejected President Obama's proposed budget, 1-98.

 It missed passing by THAT MUCH."

This Is Bullshit, Part 2

"Obama arms our enemies, and guts our military as he trafficks foreigners around the country....

....then accuses 47 patriots of 'treason' for sending that letter to those psychotic rulers in Iran."

Netanyahu Wins Re-Election. Freedom-Loving Americans Gloat

A week ago, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was elected to his third term, even though Barack Obama sent his election goons into Israel to defeat him.

Obama's people bussed millions of Arabs to the voting booths, yet Bibi won by a wide margin. On Wednesday, Twitter celebrated as well-wishing Americans and freedom-loving people tweeted happy messages to the people of Israel.

Here at The RedSquirrel Report,  the best thing about Bibi's big victory wasn't what it meant to Israel. Rather, it was the fact that our anti-Semitic child-king hates Bibi's guts enough to interfere in the Israeli election, and yet all his efforts blew up in his face.

Some people say that Bibi won because the voters in Israel are a lot smarter than voters in America. Yes, that's quite obvious. Still, I was surprised that Team Bibi defeated Team Obama, and their corrupt campaign operatives from Chicago was unable to steal the Israeli election.

I wonder if there are electronic voting machines in Israel that Team Obama somehow forgot to rig. On Election Day 2012, tens of thousands of voters complained that their votes for Mitt Romney instead were counted as votes for Obama votes. In many areas, Romney got absolutely ZERO votes, and in many Democrat areas, the number of votes EXCEEDED the number of eligible voters.

Obama also disenfranchised our military voters serving overseas in 2012, and I'll bet that problem doesn't exist in Israel. If you're in the IDF, your vote counts.

So, come on all you freedom-loving Americans. I want to see you gloat like there's no tomorrow. We won big last November, and now Bibi Netanyahu beat back the crooked, corrupt Obama machine.

To our friends in Israel, I say 'shalom'.......and 'Thank you.'

To Obama and his crooked friends, I say 'Suck it, losers.'

We Found The Person Who Came Up With Starbuck's #RaceTogether Concept

Last week, Starbucks management decided that confronting and lecturing their customers on racism was a good idea. We at RSR dug around, and found the individual who came up with this #RaceTogether concept.

Here to explain it is it's founder:

Hey America, I'M BACK!

I got a little bored with just drinking hot cocoa and talking about Obamacare. It's settled law now, and almost 8-million Americans are signed up. I was looking for a new cause where I can confront and lecture all you uneducated rubes, and racism was it.

I ventured out of my pillow fort, and got a job a Starbucks. Last week, I approached my boss with my idea, and being a good leftist, he loved it. I came up with a test to determine if you're a racist, as well as the #RaceTogether hashtag. It's so nice to see America finally having a dialogue about race. 

Maybe this racist country can have that conversation in every basement, drinking hot cocoa...OR A STARBUCKS' MOCHA CAPPUCCINO! Go ahead, my onesie-wearing army! Sit in a circle in Mom's basement, and change the world!

As a 26-year-old child, this issue means a lot to me.