Caption Obama's 'Selfie' At The Mandela Memorial

(giggle) Maybe we can paint each other's toenails while we're here.

Pepperidge Farm Remembers The Knock-Out Game

The American people are being subjected to a new wave of black-on-white crime the perpetrators refer to as 'The Knock-Out Game'.

The game goes like this: As the white person, usually elderly, is walking along, the gang sends one of their cohorts to confront their prey, then strike him or her as hard as they can. It seems the idea is to make the victim lose consciousness.

Sounds like fun, doesn't it? The perpetrators give this activity a name that makes assault almost seem recreational.

Now it looks like some people are fighting back, as these thugs are running into armed citizens.

One such American is 85-year-old Hiram Higgenbotham. Here is his account:

Thanks, Red.

I remember it just like it was only yesterday. I was walking home after buying a Pepperidge Farm Coconut 3-Layer Cake at the corner grocery store, when suddenly this young colored fella jumped from around the corner.

I saw 7 or 8 other colored whippersnappers egging him on.

Now, I have heard about 'The Knock-Out Game' for several weeks, so I went and bought a pistol. I took gun training, so I was good and prepared for this situation.

I showed this thug my gun, and said, 'You better get lost before I bust a cap in your ass, punk.' He and his friends ran away, and I walked home and enjoyed my Pepperidge Farm Coconut 3-Layer Cake.

Pepperidge Farm Remembers.

 

So I Was Watching TPT's Almanac Friday Night....

Your bushy-tailed correspondent was watching Almanac on Twin Cities Public TV, and checked out the Cathy Wurzer and Eric Escola interview of local author Kate DeCamillo.

The author has written a new book entitled Flora And Ulysses, a story about a girl and a typewriting squirrel.

A typewriting squirrel? Sounds vaguely familiar.

The Twelve Days Of Christmas (Obama Re-Mix)

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Obama gave to me....twelve 'Knock-Out Game' thugs a 'beatin'

On the eleventh day of Christmas, Obama gave to me....eleven NSA agents spying on my family.

On the tenth day of Christmas, Obama gave to me....ten dangerous Mexican drug dealers.

On the ninth day of Christmas, Obama gave to me....nine IRS agents a' harassin'.

On the eighth day of Christmas, Obama gave to me....eight illegal aliens demanding amnesty

On the seventh day of Christmas, Obama gave to me....seven Islamic extremist threats

On the sixth day of Christmas, Obama gave to me....six freaky Obama Czars

On the fifth day of Christmas, Obama gave to me....five election day fraudsters

On the fourth day of Christmas, Obama gave to me....four MSNBC hosts calling me a racist

On the third day of Christmas, Obama gave to me....three liars lying

On the second day of Christmas, Obama gave to me....two cancelled health care plans

On the first day of Christmas, Obama gave to me....one more city declaring bankruptcy

Santa: Obama Is Getting A Reindeer Turd In His Stocking

Last week, our RedSquirrel Report correspondent made his yearly visit to The North Pole, only to find jolly St. Nick in an uncharacteristic foul mood. Santa had this to say:

"Because of sugarplum numb nuts Obama, I've had to cut my elf's hours. That maniacal jerk has caused the first work slow-down in our history!

I know when you're naughty or nice, Beyotch. Between gun-running to dangerous Mexican drug dealers, cancelling millions of health plans, and deserting our boys in Benghazi, I'm thinking about dumping a great big reindeer turd in your presidential stocking.

That also goes for anybody with an 'Obama/Biden' sticker on their car.

I'm also a little torqued-off at Rush Limbaugh. After Election Day 2012, he went on his radio program and compared Obama and ME! What the HELL?!

I may know when you're naughty or nice, but I'm not the creep using The NSA to violate your right to privacy!  I give toys to good boys and girls, while Prez Creepy gives out goodies and Obamacare exemptions to his cronys and supporters.

Also, I don't remember giving f-16's and other weapons to maniacs like Morsi in Egypt.

My dentist, Hermie, is thinking about leaving dentistry because of Obamacare. He may have to come back to the toy shop, even though he does NOT want to make toys"

We're sending our correspondent to The White House on Christmas Eve to find out if Saint Nick does dump a reindeer turd in the president's stocking. Stay tuned.

An Idea For Conceal And Carry Proponents

In the state of Minnesota, our Obamacare exchange is called MNSure, and those folks are using Minnesota's very own Paul Bunyan in some of their ridiculous ads.

Conceal and carry is a hot-button issue here in Minnesota, so this bushy-tailed correspondent would like to see proponents should use THIS guy for some TV ads.

MSNBC's 2016 Prime-Time Schedule

In a couple of years....

Chris Matthews 'Hardball' will stay in the Weekday 7:00 time slot. 'Hardball' is like our never-ending 7:00 service at The Church of The Jug-Eared Commie. Just Lean forward, and kneel before the TV.

At 8:00, pencil-necked hipster Chris Hayes will get pummeled nightly in the ratings, until his program is moved to Sunday. After that, our very own race-baiting buffoon Al Sharpton will move into the 8:00 time slot, where 'the reverend' will be a' hatin' on all those tea-baggin' honkys and Jews....

The Rachel Maddow Show will be moved to the 9:00 time slot. This move was made a year ago after Mr. Maddow was roundly slaughtered in the ratings by her more attractive competitor on that other cable news channel.

Saturday:

We will move psychotic misogynist Martin Bashir to The Saturday 7:00 time slot. Remember when Bashir suggested that somebody should defecate in former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin's mouth? 

Ooooh, now THAT'S the in-depth, insightful commentary we provide here at MSNBC.

Then, the intellectual soul of MSNBC Toure' sits in for Ed Schultz at 8:00, who's on another hiatus for his insulting, hateful remarks towards conservatives.

We're not sure if our unhinged homophobe Alec Baldwin will show up for his 9:00 show. He might be somewhere, assaulting a reporter. 

As for Sundays, where we experience our highest ratings, we are thinking about filling your TV screen with color bars.

That's all for now. Lean Forward.