So I Was Watching TPT's Almanac Friday Night....

Your bushy-tailed correspondent was watching Almanac on Twin Cities Public TV, and checked out the Cathy Wurzer and Eric Escola interview of local author Kate DeCamillo.

The author has written a new book entitled Flora And Ulysses, a story about a girl and a typewriting squirrel.

A typewriting squirrel? Sounds vaguely familiar.

The Twelve Days Of Christmas (Obama Re-Mix)

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Obama gave to me....twelve 'Knock-Out Game' thugs a 'beatin'

On the eleventh day of Christmas, Obama gave to me....eleven NSA agents spying on my family.

On the tenth day of Christmas, Obama gave to me....ten dangerous Mexican drug dealers.

On the ninth day of Christmas, Obama gave to me....nine IRS agents a' harassin'.

On the eighth day of Christmas, Obama gave to me....eight illegal aliens demanding amnesty

On the seventh day of Christmas, Obama gave to me....seven Islamic extremist threats

On the sixth day of Christmas, Obama gave to me....six freaky Obama Czars

On the fifth day of Christmas, Obama gave to me....five election day fraudsters

On the fourth day of Christmas, Obama gave to me....four MSNBC hosts calling me a racist

On the third day of Christmas, Obama gave to me....three liars lying

On the second day of Christmas, Obama gave to me....two cancelled health care plans

On the first day of Christmas, Obama gave to me....one more city declaring bankruptcy

Santa: Obama Is Getting A Reindeer Turd In His Stocking

Last week, our RedSquirrel Report correspondent made his yearly visit to The North Pole, only to find jolly St. Nick in an uncharacteristic foul mood. Santa had this to say:

"Because of sugarplum numb nuts Obama, I've had to cut my elf's hours. That maniacal jerk has caused the first work slow-down in our history!

I know when you're naughty or nice, Beyotch. Between gun-running to dangerous Mexican drug dealers, cancelling millions of health plans, and deserting our boys in Benghazi, I'm thinking about dumping a great big reindeer turd in your presidential stocking.

That also goes for anybody with an 'Obama/Biden' sticker on their car.

I'm also a little torqued-off at Rush Limbaugh. After Election Day 2012, he went on his radio program and compared Obama and ME! What the HELL?!

I may know when you're naughty or nice, but I'm not the creep using The NSA to violate your right to privacy!  I give toys to good boys and girls, while Prez Creepy gives out goodies and Obamacare exemptions to his cronys and supporters.

Also, I don't remember giving f-16's and other weapons to maniacs like Morsi in Egypt.

My dentist, Hermie, is thinking about leaving dentistry because of Obamacare. He may have to come back to the toy shop, even though he does NOT want to make toys"

We're sending our correspondent to The White House on Christmas Eve to find out if Saint Nick does dump a reindeer turd in the president's stocking. Stay tuned.

An Idea For Conceal And Carry Proponents

In the state of Minnesota, our Obamacare exchange is called MNSure, and those folks are using Minnesota's very own Paul Bunyan in some of their ridiculous ads.

Conceal and carry is a hot-button issue here in Minnesota, so this bushy-tailed correspondent would like to see proponents should use THIS guy for some TV ads.

MSNBC's 2016 Prime-Time Schedule

In a couple of years....

Chris Matthews 'Hardball' will stay in the Weekday 7:00 time slot. 'Hardball' is like our never-ending 7:00 service at The Church of The Jug-Eared Commie. Just Lean forward, and kneel before the TV.

At 8:00, pencil-necked hipster Chris Hayes will get pummeled nightly in the ratings, until his program is moved to Sunday. After that, our very own race-baiting buffoon Al Sharpton will move into the 8:00 time slot, where 'the reverend' will be a' hatin' on all those tea-baggin' honkys and Jews....

The Rachel Maddow Show will be moved to the 9:00 time slot. This move was made a year ago after Mr. Maddow was roundly slaughtered in the ratings by her more attractive competitor on that other cable news channel.

Saturday:

We will move psychotic misogynist Martin Bashir to The Saturday 7:00 time slot. Remember when Bashir suggested that somebody should defecate in former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin's mouth? 

Ooooh, now THAT'S the in-depth, insightful commentary we provide here at MSNBC.

Then, the intellectual soul of MSNBC Toure' sits in for Ed Schultz at 8:00, who's on another hiatus for his insulting, hateful remarks towards conservatives.

We're not sure if our unhinged homophobe Alec Baldwin will show up for his 9:00 show. He might be somewhere, assaulting a reporter. 

As for Sundays, where we experience our highest ratings, we are thinking about filling your TV screen with color bars.

That's all for now. Lean Forward.

The President's Thanksgiving Address To America 2013

My fellow Americans,

As you get together with your family and enjoy your Thanksgiving turkey, I would like to take this time to make a few suggestions about what every American should be thankful for.

When you bow your heads, be thankful for Obamacare. Thanks to me, millions of Americans will get free healthcare, and no one will be denied life-saving care even if they suffer from a pre-existing condition.

Your President would appreciate it if you call your Republican congressmen and women and demand that they support Obamacare. It's their obstruction that puts my agenda in peril.

It's not fair that some folks will do anything to harm my legacy. Need I remind my critics that I won re-election last year, and I get to do anything I want.

For all you college students, I made your education affordable. All I ask is that you remind your right-wing parents of this fact as you're passing the cranberries. Go to my website Organizing For Action. com for official talking points before heading home for the holidays.

My website will arm you with THE TRUTH in case your relatives try to 'get up in your face.'

After dinner, chances are that your family will want to watch some football. I suggest you tell grandpa that you believe that The Washington Redskins REALLY SHOULD change their racially-insensitive team nickname.

To everyone at General Motors who would like to thank me for saving the auto industry, I say, 'You're welcome.'

Many of you may be wondering if there are a few things that your god-like President might be thankful for:

I am thankful for low-information voters and the lying suck-ups in the state-run media.

Also, I am thankful for my friends in The IRS who harassed conservatives while I stole the election.

I also want to give a special shout-out to MSNBC host Martin Bashir who has offered to 'feed' Sarah Palin.

I am also very thankful for insanely corrupt and mentally unhinged control freak politicians here in DC. I wouldn't have been able to achieve my father's dream without these morally defective maniacs.

Gobble, gobble.

Your Dear Leader, President Barack H. Obama.

The More You Know (Martin Bashir Edition)

Suggesting that someone should defecate into somebody else's mouth is not normal....

....even if you're a host of a cable news program that nobody watches.



Suggesting that someone should defecate into somebody else's mouth is REALLY, REALLY sick. If you have some uncontrollable desire to blurt out something this sick and bizarre to your 400 viewers, it may be a sign that you need help.